The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man
by yummydreams
Summary: Harry loves Hermione, Draco loves Pansy. Who KNEW a mix-up on the day of the their weddings would leave Hermione in such a mess? She's going to have to start a new lifetime with the WRONG man! At start HG/HP & DM/PP and ends with HG/DM & HP/PP
1. Chapitre 1 La preposition

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters! I will only write this disclaimer once!

oOo

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**Chapitre Un - La preposition-elle a mangé la bague!**

_Draco and Pansy's appartment, London_

The sweaty bodies fell back onto the tangled sheets. The raven haired beauty flung her arm possessively over her pale chest of her beau; her body still quivering from the final effects of their passionate lovemaking but nonetheless, Pansy smiled as she regained enough feeling in her fingers to yank the expensive egyptian cotton over them.

'Wow...' she breathed slowly.

'I could do this everyday...and night.' murmered Draco, running his hands through his mussed blonde hair.

'We do...do _this_ every day.' she said with a gentle laugh as he snuggled further down the bed so they were at eye-level. His long fingers traced her jaw and her pouty lips before replacing his fingertips with his own lips.

'I meant something else, Pansy.' he said breaking off the kiss, his hand entwined their fingers and he chuckled at her confused expression then he smiled lazily. 'Be mine, Parkinson...marry me.'

The dark eyes of chocolate brown widened in surprise but disappeared quickly and a painted smirk graced her lips, 'I may have to think about that.'

'Nonsense, I already have your answer.' he said arrogantly and he laughed again, Pansy Parkinson was _very _confused this morning. 'You've already said yes-'

'You mean when we were making love earlier?' she snorted ungracefully. 'That was a _different_ kind of 'yes', darling.'

He smiled then lifted her hand, 'Then why do you have this beautiful ring on your finger?'

She gasped...how did it get on? On her left hand, on the slender finger beside her pinkie was elegant white gold band studded with stars of intrinsically cut white diamonds. She closed her mouth and her eyes tore from the engagement ring sliding over to her now-fiance.

'You little sneak-'

'Admit it, you love it. You were too caught up while we were-'

'Yes.'

'What?'

Draco stopped talking, his eyes narrowed in thought. 'Did you just say yes? Is it the same kind of 'yes'?'

'No, it was a _different_ kind of yes.' she emphasised before smiling fondly at him. 'It was the kind of 'yes' when you agree to marry someone.'

oOo

_Clements Cafe, Northern Ireland_

In the small busy cafe of _Clements_, the interior was absolutely empty; the coffee and tea machine whirled incessantly and the electronic fridge buzzed as the cans of fizzy drinks vibrated in their plastic shelves. All the customers _and _staff seemed to be outside.

It was a beautiful summer's day in the city of Belfast, the skies were coloured as blue as the Mother Sea and the golden sun beams radiated over the event happening outside the cafe. Everyone crowded around the small metal table cheering and screaming words of encouragement. She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration as she gulped back the delicious vanilla milkshake. Two empty tall glasses were stacked beside her elbow and Hermione Granger stopped inhaling deeply before returning to her frothy drink, her auburn coloured eyes flickered over to her boyfriend who was having trouble gulping down the ice cold liquid. She caught a flash of his emerald green eyes before he closed them in concentration. You see, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter decided to commence their 'day of fun' with a little competition; who could finish three glasses of _Clements_' milkshakes first? Everyone crowded round their table to watch the match between the two young lovers, Hermione was normally one who appreciated privacy but today, she couldn't stopped grinning as the people egged her on.

'Done!' she said triumphantly, setting her glass down onto the table and wiped her mouth with a napkin, cheers erupted around her and Harry set his nearly empty glass with an air of defeat.

'Did you finish it all?' accused Harry. 'You know the rules was-'

'Was to completely finish it, no froth or anything allowed to remain.' finished Hermione, her eyes glittering. She was Hermione Granger, she always played by the rules!

'Let me see!' muttered Harry and he snatched her glass frantically, Hermione watched him in curiosity, she always thought he took defeat well but... Her curiosity was peaked when he started checking her other stacked glasses, the crowd around them stood still; suddenly quiet and all watching the darked haired man with an look of anxiety.

'Oh no...' groaned Harry, his hands fisted his unruly hair.

'What's wrong, Harry?' she reached over in concern and laid her hand on his bare forearm. 'Are you okay?'

He looked up, he looked pained and he struggled with his words.

'This didn't turn out how I wanted.' he said finally, groaning again.

Hermione just noticed, why were all the people still standing around them? Harry looked at them and shook his head, some burst into laughter and others looked sympathetic for the young handsome man.

'What is going on, Harry James Potter?' demanded his girlfriend.

'Hermione...' he said weakly, gripping her hands in his, he worried her, 'I had a reason for taking you out here today, the competition was just an excuse-'

'What are you trying to say?' her bottom lip quivered.

'I put your engagement ring in the bottom of the last glass you drank, you were supposed to win - not that you didn't win fair and square - you were meant to find it and I was going to propose to you, I even got people to create an atmosphere.'

'Oh Harry...' she trailed off, overwhelmed, it was the sweetest thing.

'I already asked your dad and he approved-' smiled Harry, forgetting about the ring for a moment but Hermione didn't.

'Wait...the ring wasn't in the glass...' she began in horror.

'I know...' he said, he looked stuck between in the mood to cry and mood to laugh, 'You swallowed it.'

oOo

_Royal Victoria Hospital, Accident & Emergency_

'We got it, no harm done to you, Miss Granger.' said the middle-aged balding doctor, he suppressed a smile that was fighting to break out, the young couple look clearly distressed. The woman more upset than her boyfriend. He held out a X-ray of Hermione's chest; among the white and black negative, lodged in her digestive tract was clearly a ring and a visible diamond shape.

'I'm fine?' she repeated staring in wonder at the ring that was supposed to be on her _finger_.

'Yes, completely fine, it's going to pass out the natural way...I suggest you eat a high carbohydrate and fibre diet for a few days until...it comes out.' said the doctor with a grin; he couldn't resist it.

Hermione squeaked and groaned, she'll have to take it to the professional cleaners...how would she explain to them? Harry thanked the doctor and reached for the X-ray in his hand.

'Let's go, Harry, we need to go to the supermarket...what are you doing?' she questioned when he got down on one knee with the sheet in his hand.

'This is all I can do, but at least we won't forget how I proposed to you!' he grinned and she giggled uncontrollably, he extended her X-ray to her, 'With this X-ray showing a diamond ring inside your chest...will you marry me, Hermione?'

'Yes, Harry, yes!' she shrieked in a very unHermionish manner, she flung her arms roung his neck and crushed the sheet between their bodies.

The doctor smiled and offered his congratulations before leaving the couple. The ideas young people have on the most unique way to propose to their other half.

oOo

_Later on that day, in Draco and Pansy's appartment, London_

'I've had too much limelight and cameras on me...I want it to be small-' announced Pansy.

'But classy?' finished Draco.

They were in the living room of their designer flat, on the very top level, it was a very private block which suited their needs. Draco was the CEO of a chain of _D.M Quidditch_ franchises which sold high quality gear and brooms for the single most played sport in the Wizarding World, his products bought by the high percentage of major Quidditch teams from all around the world made him a very influential and famous man indeed. Pansy..._Pansy Parkinson_, was even more the bigger celebrity. She was a brilliant fashion designer, her quick eye trained to put fine silk, luscious faux-fur, shimmering satin and soft velvet into the most fashionable item of clothing. Her name was even beginning to make it big in the Muggle World as she delved into muggle clothing to broaden her ideas.

'I want something different...just with our close families...but not something boring.'

'Alright,' drawled Draco as he swirled his cognac in the short glass, he looked up and watch his beautiful wife-to-be pore intensely over wedding catalogues, she snorted every now and then and chucked the item behind her before reaching for the next, 'no traditional white wedding then?'

'No.' she said firmly then she eyes widened and she shrieked, causing him to glare at her.

'Oh...' she muttered breathlessly as she grabbed her drawing pad from the coffee table, she was never far from her drawing pad! It was always close by so she could sketch her ideas when she had an inspiration, she even sleeps with it under her pillow. 'It's so perfect.'

Draco swallowed the last of the rich brown liquid and set the newspaper down, 'Another inspiration of yours?'

'Shush you.' she scolded lightly, her hand darting across the page fervently. 'Oh god...this is _it_!'

He tapped his foot impatiently and stood up, making his way towards her, 'Stop ignoring me, what is this?'

Just as he reached her armchair, she thrust the white pad into his face, her dark eyes gleaming with excitement.

His grey eyes narrowed as he absorbed her quick sketch and smiled. She was such a good drawer, the model was drawn in haste but the dress was intricate. It was short-sleeved, a one piece that reached the ground, the collar was lined with gilting edges which she labelled 'Silver and Petit Diamonds', the cloth was made of marvellous chinese silk with a tale of flowers, butterlies and sky larks woven; here she labelled 'Emerald/Forest Green(?)'.

'You're going to wear green on our wedding?' he asked, his eyebrow raised.

'So?' she retorted then her eyes glistened with a mischievous sparkle, 'Besides...you _like_ green.'

oOo

_Still later that day, in Harry and Hermione's small bungalow, Bangor_

'If you invite your boss, you'll need to invite your colleagues too.'

'Do you know how many colleagues I have in the Auror Department?'

Hermione sighed and skimmed her hand across his bare chest, her fingertips gently teasing the sparse hair there. Harry winced and gently slapped her hand away before tilting her head up to face his.

'Look, I just want a small wedding with the family; yours and the Weasleys. We could have an reception a few days later, it doesn't have to be on the same day. It's just going to be about you and me on our wedding day. Don't you want that?'

'Of course.' she murmured. 'I didn't know if you wanted to invite them or not. They helped you out a lot.'

'I know, but I'm going to have to be selfish, I'm tired of all this media, I want it to be the best day of my life.' he said and he kissed her tenderly before breaking into a grin, 'Do you want to invite all your little creature friends?'

This time it was her turn to slap his hand, she scowled lightly but quickly laughed.

Since the defeat of Voldemort, many pureblood families which had connections with the dark wizard were interrogated, and a good number paid a life-time visit to Azkaban which meant their numerous house elves was literally made redundant. The poor creatures wandered and kept their Masters' mansions clean since there was no one to set them free, Hermione had worked hard to fight to pass a bill for all these domestic elves to be freed. Her hard work had not been in vain, two years after the final Battle, they were free.

However, many of these creatures at first resented Hermione greatly, what do they do now? They had always served their masters through generations. Being Hermione Granger, she always found a solution. The following year, she founded a centre of research for a new branch of medicine, medicine for Magical Creatures. The organisation consisting of Hermione and four other head researchers (also qualified MC Healers), each having their own team of four employees; rescued wounded Magical Creatures, notified Dragon Handlers of illegal stolen dragon eggs and so on. The majority of the house elves that Hermione had freed helped in the centre too, paid a monthly salary (as much as they would take) and of course, had (forced) holidays.

Hermione was so proud of her achievement, she loved her job, it was always what she wanted to do. She smiled at the thought, it was so successful and it couldn't have been done without the help of her friends and family; especially Cho Chang, the new wife of her cousin David from Canada (David was a wizard, like Hermione he too was a muggleborn), Cho had so many useful contacts and while she was a Healer, she was also vastly interested in Magical Creatures medicine.

Hermione remembered their delightful wedding, it was typical chinese wedding, they took the meaning of 'not seeing the bride before the wedding' to the very literal. A typical wedding began with the bride dressed in beautiful red silk and her head covered with a opaque veil of matching red and gold silk, she is then carried on into a bridal sedan chair. The sedan is then lifted by four men to the destination of the wedding (usually the groom's home) and on arrival, the groom would kick the sedan chair with his foot lightly to confirm his bride and they would go into the ceremony together before a series of activities were conducted; pronouncing man and wife. In the olden times, the new wife with her face still covered in silk usually retired to the bridal room immediately after the ceremony and she would wait for her new husband to return. However Cho had decided to go into a separate hall with all females and had their dinner separately from the boys before her and David returned to the Bridal Suite where they finally consummated their marriage. Hermione thought it was extremely romantic in an odd sense, they had waited for each other until that very night and she didn't doubt that it added to their passion.

'What are you thinking off?' whispered Harry, pulling her close to him.

'Harry, let's have a chinese wedding.' she smiled.

'Chinese wedding?' repeated Harry thoughtfully. 'Like Cho's and David's big day?'

Hermione suddenly squirmed, clutching her tummy.

'I need the toilet, hold that thought for a second.'

The engagement ring seemed one step towards its appearance!

oOo

* * *

**Hahaha! **

**By the way the title in french means: 'The proposal-she ate the ring!'**

**Basically this story is about the two couples: Harry and Hermione, Draco and Pansy. Little did they know they picked the same type and day of the wedding. On the big day, a mix up occurs and they marry the wrong spouse. In my wizarding world is very traditionnal and unlike the muggle world, divorces are very hard to come by. Also adultery is highly serious. Eventually it will end up with Harry and Pansy, Draco and Hermione- but not without a fight!**

**Next Chapter:**

**Preparation of the Weddings.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. Chapitre 2 Le Double Acte

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

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**Chapitre Deux - Le Double Acte**

_Pansy's personal studio, in Draco's and Pansy's appartment, London_

'Do _not_ try to convince me.' warned Pansy imperiously to the now quivering young man. 'I've done my research, need I _remind_ you who I am? Your cloth is below adequate, I specifically asked for the finest silk and you bring me_ this?_'

'M-miss Park-Parkinson.' stuttered the man, he was a lot taller than the dark-haired designer but at that very moment he seemed to be an infant making his first steps. 'I am dreadfully sorry, let me show you my other _finer_ materials-'

'No need, I have made up my mind. Thank for your time, my fiancé will show you out-' Pansy cut him off smoothly and shook his shaking hand graciously.

'Pansy!' yelled Draco's voice from inside the kitchen, normally she winced when he did that whenever she had more..._elegant_ company but right now she couldn't be any more pleased . 'Your next appointment is here.'

'Thank you, love. Please show them in and please show Mr. Winchester here out.' She managed to give the latter a cool smile and the man scurried out of the brightly lit studio after stuffing his wares into a overly large suitcase.

Draco chuckled inwardly when he opened the door again for the salesman, he couldn't help but place a sympathetic hand on his shoulder and the poor man squeaked.

'Better luck next time, .' he grinned.

Pansy muttered as she stooped over to pick up a piece of sample silk from the floor that the previous appointment had left behind by mistake, she crushed the material in her hand, catching a whiff of unpleasant musty smell and threw it behind her into the bin.

'Single-layered, badly woven, designs upon the surface are motifs, minimal magic to cover the numerous flaws in this piece of cloth.' spoke the musical voice behind her. Pansy turned round slowly in horror and in awe, she had been so frustrated; she forgot about her next appointment. The woman paused and gave her a dazzling smile before letting the fabric she had caught in her hand slide delicately between her fingertips. She looked mildly disgusted, 'Only 28% silk, rest is muggle nylon. Winchester's work, I presume?'

Pansy grinned. She had had 6 appointments since this morning and this delightful woman was the seventh; _Seven indeed was a lucky number_, she thought and made a mental note to use this number as her favourite. This woman was petite unlike the previous sales rep, but her confidence oozed off her from the top of her carefully piled jet-black hair to her crimson red high heels. Pansy's guilty pleasure was to examine her company: she took in her delicate porcelain make up, her satiny blood-red blouse and her fitted waist-high stormy grey skirt. She stopped herself before her eyes started the habit of analysing the material of her clothes.

'Do I pass?' asked the woman in a nervous voice, but there was nothing 'nervous' in her innocent dark brown eyes.

'Marvelous, you look wonderful.' said Pansy immediately and the woman broke into a larger smile, she held out her hand to the lady.

The petite woman took it and shook firmly, 'I'm Karla Cheung. I have many beautiful samples with me today, I know one of them is bound to catch your eye. May I?'

Her client nodded, her hands clasped together to hold off the excitement inside her as the woman took a black leather case from her assistant(a young man which Pansy did not notice until that very moment) and placed it carefully onto one of the studio desks. Karla flicked her ivory wand and the case expanded before she flicked open the titanium clasps and opened the cream lined interior.

'May I?' repeated Pansy, a little eagerly, the woman nodded and moved aside. Pansy's well manicured hands sifted through the luxurious samples; some were coloured vibrantly and others were beautifully pale, some were embroidered so intricately and others had just enough stitching the make the cloth sparkle like diamonds.

'May I make a suggestion, Miss Parkinson?' asked Karla, her voice interrupting her train of thoughts as Pansy imagined every one on herself.

'Yes.' said Pansy distractedly. 'Of course.'

'I understand red is the traditional colour for chinese weddings, however my own personal opinion is that a royal colour of emerald green will look fabulous on your dark hair and tanned skin.'

'I was thinking the same.' grinned Pansy modestly.

'That's it settled then.' said the woman with an approved nod and she motioned her assistant to step forward. 'I hope you don't mind me assuming things too far but I brought an extra case of the different beautiful shades of jade, emerald and so on. Shall we?'

'You're very professional, I could work with you.' sighed Pansy happily then she raised her voice. 'Draco! Please ask Vesta to make our guest a cup of tea!'

oOo

_Garden, Harry and Hermione's bungalow, Bangor_

'Where it rightfully belongs.' smiled Hermione as her fiance slid the ring onto her finger. It gleamed in the hot afternoon sun as they lay back onto the swinging hammock in back garden of their cosy home.

'Yes.' snickered Harry, and he regretted it immediately when she elbowed him hard in the chest. 'Ow!'

'Do you think anything's going to change after we get married?' she suddenly asked when she trailed her fingers over the area she poked him.

'What do you mean?' he asked lazily, relishing in the warmth of the sun.

'Like...we've been living together already, we do everything together already, this marriage is just going to-'

'Are you saying you're having second doubts?'

'No! I didn't mean that, I just wonder if...it would make any difference, like would we feel more different?'

'Of course we would, we would feel more complete-'

'Complete?' she interrupted, her auburn eyes gazed into his questioningly.

Harry smiled and caught her lips in a tender kiss as he slid his hand down to her flat stomach. 'When we have our own family.'

Hermione blushed and averted her eyes. _Oh Merlin, this is it...the talk about starting our own family...children_, she thought, thrilled.

'Hermione? Are you okay? You suddenly don't look too happy!' asked Harry worriedly, _is it too early to start talking about babies?_

'No...' she grinned and he smiled back in relief. 'I was just shocked that's all. Is that what you want?'

'Is it what _you_ want?'

'Harry.' she sighed and she flung her arm over her eyes.

'I do, I want us to try for a baby. Our first child.'

'First? You mean there's going to be more than one?' she asked playfully in horror.

'Of course, we're going to have enough to start our own Granger-Potter Quidditch team.' replied Harry amused. They had decided on a double-barrel surname.

'_That_ many?' she asked, starting to actually be horrified but his cheeky smirk reassured her.

'No.' he said innocently. 'We need another team of kids to join their mummy on a game show on books.'

'Mummy.' she repeated, savouring it, she didn't even seem offended by his 'book-worm' remark, _Mummy..._she thought.

'Yes.' he agreed to nothing in particular. 'But first we need to sort out the wedding. What would would Mrs Weasley say if she knew we were having pre-marital sex to try for a baby?'

'Rubbish.' she said. 'We've been living together for almost a year, surely she knows.'

'She doesn't.' said Harry seriously. 'She gave me this talk and I reassured her that we slept in separate bedrooms.'

'You _did_?' demanded Hermione, suddenly feeling guilty.

'No.'

His laugh was immediately cut short as she pounced on him in annoyance, they tumbled out of the hammock and onto the hard grassy ground, he pinned her down to stop her flailing hands attack him. Then he kissed her.

'That was nice,' she commented, 'what was that for?'

'I love you, Hermione, you make me so happy.' he said kissing her again.

Hermione smirked, 'Want to continue this in the bedroom?'

'I was just waiting for you to ask.' he laughed and he pulled her up into his arms.

'Harry! I can walk, put me down!'

'It's tradition, 'Mione. Didn't you know grooms carry their brides? Let me practice!'

'Are you saying you need to practice because I'm too heavy. Oh my, I better hit the gym tomorrow if I want to look good for the wedding.

'Calm down, I didn't mean it like that! And you don't need to go to the gym!' he laughed again and she stopped fretting when he kissed her nose.

He carried her carefully through the double glass patio doors and swerved down the hallway before commencing up the stairs, their eyes never left each other and they licked their lips hungrily. She raised her hands around his neck and nipped and sucked on his throbbing Adam's apple.

The door rang when he reached the landing upstairs and he dropped her promptly as if he had forgotten something.

'Oh damn, I forgot!' curse Harry and he rushed down the stairs, leaving his fiancé sprawled over the carpet. Hermione winced and rubbed her bottom gingerly.

'Mr Potter! Pray tell, why you suddenly_ dropped_ me?'

'It's Cho! I forgot she was coming.'

'Says he who has travelled back in time to when he was the infatuated schoolboy.'

'I didn't hear that!' he chortled as he reached for the front door.

'Hi Harry, where's Hermione?' asked Cho as she stepped over the doorway.

'Hermione!' said Harry sharply. 'Cho's here.'

'Up here.' answered Hermione gruffly still lying on the carpet.

Cho gave a tinkering laugh, 'Why are you lying there?'

'Harry dropped me.' said Hermione innocently as she stood up and made her way down the stairs.

'Sorry...' blushed Cho. 'Did I interrupt?'

'No, of course not.' said Harry quickly and his eyes turned to Hermione when she reached them. 'Hermione, Cho has brought something to show you.'

'What is it?' asked his fiancé confused as he steered her elbow and led their guest to the kitchen.

'I'm so excited you decided to do this!' excalimed the dark haired girl as she lay the navy opaque suitbag onto the clear glass surface of the table.

As she unzipped the bag carefully, she slowly unwrapped the dress inside. It was jade green with silver edging with matching butterfly clasps at the stiff collar and a demure opal opening that would show off a hint of creamy cleavage, it was short sleeved and reached down to the ankles, its silky edges gently brushing the ankles. It was cinched in at the waist and at mid-thigh, there was slits on either side: practical for walking and..._sexy_. The upper half was simple but from the waist down was a different story; the embroided sky larks and tiger butterflies danced across the sea of chinese silk, their flapping wings shimmering with silver and pale pink, white locuses woved beautifully throughout the material.

'It's beautiful.' gasped Hermione in awe, she smiled at Cho and looked at Harry amazed.

'I'm not sure if you wanted to buy a new dress or if you preferred something old-' he began.

'I don't mind if you wanted to wear this! It's been passed for a couple generations I think, my mother and grandmother wore it for their weddings. Actually my great-grandfather was a professional dress-maker, he made it for my great-grandmother so I think that's three generations! The magic's so strong, it looks as good as new.' Cho interrupted and smiled fondly at the shimmering gown, watching the light glitter across it before looking at Hermione again. 'It can be easily altered, you're a bit taller than me.'

'Oh Cho...it's wonderful!'

'It's absolutely fine. Oh by the way, congratulations! I already congratulated Harry when he owled me to come today!'

oOo

_Wonderful Wizard Weddings International, Paris_

'Mademoiselle Pansy! Vous allez se marier avec _cet_ homme?' (Miss Pansy! You are going to marry _this_ man?)

Jacques-Piere Larroque rubbed the rough shadow on his chin as his eyes scrutinised every _inch _of Draco's appearance; the blonde man smirked somewhat surprised at the french man's slight look of disgust.

'Oui, etes-vous jaloux? (Yes, are you jealous?)' smiled Pansy then she caught Draco's glare. 'JP, be nice...aren't you going to congratulate us?'

'Pardon-moi, _congratulations_.' JP said with a slight accent as he shook Draco's hand and gave Pansy a lingering kiss on the cheek before whispering. 'Mais si vous changez ton esprit vous savez très bien que je serai toujours ici.'

'Oh stop, JP!' giggled Pansy playfully pushing him away but squeezing Draco's hand firmly. 'Draco doesn't understand French-'

'But _he _understands enough to know the sexual tension here between you two!' said Draco loudly.

'You got him, he's the jealous type, JP, quit teasing him.'

'Very well, _ma belle_.' agreed JP and he clasped Draco's shoulder in a rough friendly way, speaking in perfect english without a hint of his origin. 'Sorry, but you really need to loosen up, your fiancé here is the world's most beautiful woman.'

JP winked at the raven-haired beauty beside him causing Draco to give a sound of disapproval but JP ignored him and pulled both of Pansy's hands into his own. 'Pansy, why were you 'vous-ing' me? I'm truly hurt.'

'JP, you started it so I followed it.'

'Ah yes...well I'll take you to see our one of our best wedding planners, just let me go grab some files, okay? Wait here, _ma belle_.'

JP released her hands so slowly it seemed reluctant, winked at her before sauntering off and delivered a smug smirk to her fiancé.

'Isn't he just _delightful_?' smiled Pansy genuinely.

'I suppose it was just _delightful_,' imitated Draco as he sulked, 'to see you and your _boyfriend_ there holding hands and have nice sex with your eyes.'

'He's not my boyfriend!' laughed Pansy. 'I would never get a chance with him anyways.'

'Rubbish, not from the attention he was giving you.' he grumbled.

'Draco.' she smiled impatiently. 'JP is _gay_.'

'I _know_.' said Draco as if it was the most obvious thing ever, for a brief second his eyes lit up with mirth.

'Well then, why are you so jealous?'

'I just don't like dirty frenchmen getting their grubby paws all over you.' he explained and added. 'Or any other men in fact, except for me.'

'Oh well then _you_ can breastfeed our kids if I can't touch them.' she retorted amusedly.

Draco opened his mouth in feigned shock, 'My Pansy, what an incestous thing to say! I'm definitely not letting _you_ near them now!'

She rolled her eyes but let him put his arm around her and JP came strolling back to them.

'Sorry, my dear, I had to receive a phone call there, shall we go?' apologised JP, and he extended his hand towards Pansy but Draco flitted between them and knocked his hand out of the way.

'She's mine, she's not for sharing.' growled Draco.

'Feisty.' drawled JP giving him a handsome smile before leaning daringly close to the blonde man's face. 'You silly man! Who said I wanted to share _her? _It was you from the very start!'

Draco pulled back; startled and JP threw his head back and laughed heartily.

'Oh Pansy, he's soooo cute! Please can we share him? Please?' pleaded JP.

'No.' she said firmly and quoted Draco. 'He's mine, he's not for sharing.'

oOo

_At the same time, office next door to Draco and Pansy's, Wonderful Wizard Weddings International, Paris_

'Do you believe in fate and destiny?'

'What?'

The woman sitting in front of the young couple, their wedding planner, beamed at them. Her question had caught the pair of them off guard but Hermione was first to recover.

'I'm arranging Harry Potter and Hermione Granger's wedding!' said the woman thrilled, upon her breast with a nameplate 'Leanne'. 'Is it destiny? Or it is destiny?!'

'Fate for us.' mumbled Harry and he received a swift kick from Hermione; he cursed in silence.

'Listen.' said Hermione firmly, holding her gaze steadily with the woman's bright blue one, it awfully reminded her of Ron's but she shook her head mentally.'I'm not going to deny it, but we're pretty much in the limelight _all_ the time. The reason we picked WWW International is because of the high customer confidentiality and I hope this wedding will be as low-profile as it can get.'

'Of course, Miss Granger, we are very professional.' said Leanne, suddenly becoming very business-like after her initial excitement.

'Good, I appreciate that.' nodded Hermione with approval, maybe they weren't stuck with a hyperactive planner.

'May I ask if the two of you has decided on a wedding date? So that we can organise targets to be met effectively prior the wedding?'

Harry placed his hand ontop of Hermione's and squeezed it, they both smiled.

'Yes, we have decided, we would like to have it on the 7th July.' he said.

_In the other room_

'Miss Parkinson, Mr Malfoy, have you thought about the date of your big day?' asked the tall woman behind the mahoghany desk, she flitted through a stack of papers.

'In July.' prompted Pansy immediately and she looked for Draco's approval, his eyebrow was raised; evidently they had not discussed this yet. 'Baby, I checked our daily planners, we're most free that week.'

'We'll go with what she says then.' nodded Draco and he rubbed her smooth hand fondly in his.

'Great!' said the woman. 'What day in particular?'

Pansy closed her eyes briefly in though: the 1st? The 12th? Or maybe later, the 29th? She remembered how stressed she was today sorting out the right material for her wedding dress and she felt that same _whoosh_ of relief when Karla Cheung had made her appearance. Then her mental note reppeared in her mind - seven. _Seven...her new lucky number. The best day it could be on!_

'7th.' said Pansy dreamily.

It was perfect: 7th on the seventh month, the only flaw was that it wasn't year 7777.

oOo

_Simultaneously_

The wedding planners spoke at the same time, unaware of the repeat of words:

'7th of July it is!'

oOo

* * *

**I am soooo happy to receive a positive response from this story! Not too many reviews but a lot of alerts!! THANK YOU!**

**A few pointers I have to make:**

**-I have indeed planned how the mix-up will be made**

**-If you haven't realised by now, I am chinese (LOL)**

**-I lied in this fic, I wore a chinese dress on several occasions. It's kinda strange to be honest, the dress is absolutely gorgeous and it meant to be really elegant and chinese people aim for conservation. The top half is fairly conservative compared to party dresses and the entire shoulders, neck and chest is covered. Though I do wonder what possessed them to make a big slit from the thigh downwards? A little rebelling maybe? Lol, anyways what I lied about was the erm...the 'movability' of the dress. It is THE most AWKWARDEST dress in the universe, it is impossible to sit down (strongly advised to NOT sit beside a perv as I have experienced) and impossible to dance and run in, going to the bathroom is also very difficult as you can imagine. I know I have just invented some words there...**

**-I need a name of Hermione's work place...any suggestions are VERY welcome**

**-I just finished my a-level french...explains the frenchness!**

**-Are there any HP/HG and DM/PP shippers there? Shall I make one last sweet (little did they know) love scene between the two?**

**_Next Chapter:_**

**_The weddings and the mix-up!_**

**REVIEW DARLINGS**


	3. Chapitre 3 Le Reve ou La Souffrance?

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

_**(A/N Before you start reading, I suggest you to take a look at the pictures of the chinese dress and the Bridal Sedan, just so you can visualise it. There are links to the photos on my profile page! Thanks!)

* * *

**_

oOo

_Draco's and Pansy's appartment, London_

'We...are...getting...married...in...two...days!' squealed Pansy as she kissed him between words.

It was a bright sunny morning. Draco groaned as he swatted away his fiancé's slapping hands, he too was overjoyed that their upcoming nuptials were advancing so soon but it was too early in the morning today for him to endure her excited screams. He rolled over onto his front, burying his face into the downy pillow as the raven beauty beside him continued to ramble on and on about something.

'I hope our guests received our invitations, I haven't received any replies yet! It's been _two _weeks, do you think they're not coming? Oh no! _No one_'s coming to our wedding-' she muttered furiously fast, her beautiful face assembled into a frown.

'Pansy.' said Draco cutting her off and she stopped her rant immediately, she was closed to tears and he kept his eyes close, his hand wrapped around her slim wrist. There was a brief pause before she looked at him expectantly.

'What?' she said after a short while.

'Nothing.' he answered sleepily.

'Why did you say my name?' she demanded.

'Just to shut you up. It worked rather well didn't it?' he tried to say it somberly but couldn't help grinning when she whipped out his pillow from underneath his head and proceeded to suffocate him with it.

'You total as-'

'Hey hey, let's not kill your husband-to-be before the wedding, alright?'

He pushed the pillow off his face easily and sat up, binding her flailing hands gently in his; he was fully awake now. Pansy stopped struggling and pulled her hands away from his grasp, folding her arms huffily across the front of her satin camisole.

'Pansy, try to relax. _Everyone_ has got their invites and has replied, the wedding planner is handling everything, loosen up.' Draco said softly, untangling her folded arms.

'Okay.' she agreed.

'Now...let me give you my present.' he said with a slight growl.

She immediately brightened up, 'You got me a present?'

'Yes, hold out your hand.' he said. He took her hand and tried to place it down his boxers.

'Draco Malfoy!' cried Pansy furiously disappointed, and she slapped her hand away.

'Oof.' groaned Draco, placing his hand over his injured manhood.

'You'll survive.' she said sliding off the bed and brushing her long hair in the vanity mirror.

'That was...' Draco began, his hands circling her waist and his head buried into her neck. They wandered under her nightwear, '...the first time you refused me.'

'Oh behave you.' she said, sharply tapping his roaming hands with the back of her wooden brush.

He ignored her; he didn't take rejection very well. Nevertheless his hands slipped back out of her top and began a different course down her stringed matching shorts. Pansy moaned as his fingers seeked out her most sensitive area, his long fingers deftly stroking into her wet folds.

'You still want me to behave?' he whispered hoarsely, fully aroused.

It took her a lot of willpower but she did it: she removed his hands firmly from her shorts and turned round to face him.

'Let's not have sex until the wedding.' she said mischeivously.

'What?' he demanded in disbelief, he groaned pushing her against the dresser, she couldn't refuse him _now_! It was so unfair.

'I want to wait until that night.' she told him seriously, slipping from his arms and she moved to her wardrobe to find something to wear.

'Thought you didn't like tradition.' he said darkly, watching her throw a suitable blouse onto the bed.

'I do, we're having a traditional chinese wedding aren't we?'

'That's not what I meant...Pansy, I need you _now_, I can't wait until we get married! Give me sex now...' he growled, advancing on her again. 'Or I will make a fool of us on the day! And _everyone_ will be watching!'

'In front of our family?' she smirked. 'In front of Lucius?'

Draco frowned, he didn't expect her to consider his threat thoroughly.

'That's what I thought, go get a shower.' she smiled and gave him a quick peck on the lips. 'I'll see you at breakfast.'

oOo

_Harry's and Hermione's bungalow, Bangor_

He was close now.

She was even closer.

Harry groaned as he tried to hold himself back from his impending climax, his beautiful fiancé had to come first. She was thrashing underneath him, she was whimpering louder and louder and she had to bite down on his shoulder. Hermione enjoyed making love with Harry, but it frustrated her to no end, the pleasure he caused between her legs was immense and Hermione Granger did not like losing control of herself. Harry shuddered, the pain in his shoulder was starting to feel numb and he buried himself deep into his lover's wet cavity, his thighs smoothly slipping past her wet thighs from their previous lovemaking during the whole morning.

'Hermione...' he almost yelled, as her walls started to pulse and contract around his pounding erection.

Harry slipped himself out and his hand found the back of her head, he pulled her head back roughly and attacked her neck with a fierce kiss before driving back into her for the last time.

'Twenty!' she yelled as she let herself go, her release making her shiver in pleasure and Harry came soon after, slumping against her heaving body.

'Twenty?' croaked Harry in disbelief, he rolled onto his back and stroked her damp stomach. 'Hermione, please tell me you _weren't_ thinking about the wedding plans during sex.'

Hermione managed to blush even though her face was already flushed pink after their enthusiastic activity and she now looked guiltily at her fiancé.

'Just came into my mind for a few seconds.' she lied sheepishly.

'You were supposed to say my name when you come. Not how many guests we have!' he glared at her.

'Sorry.' she said, turning over and leaning on his broad chest, offering a kiss near his throat as an apology. 'I'm just a little stressed with organising everything.'

'Hermione.' he said, tilting her chin up so they were on eye-level. 'The reason why I suggested to hire a wedding planner is so that you can de-stress, let someone else organise it for once.'

'Are you saying I control everything?' she demanded, poking his stomach.

'Maybe.' he answered slyly.

'Thank goodness, we took these two weeks off, I don't think I would have been able to go to work today after the marathon we did since last night.'

'Well get used to it, we'll be having lots of marathons to make that baby.' he joked.

'It won't be necessary.' smiled Hermione.

Harry nearly choked...on air, 'Hermione...? I- What?'

Hermione rolled her eyes, 'No, you moron, we've been using protection spells remember?'

'Oh, I forgot. You're always in control, I don't need to think.'

'Gosh you make me sound like a control freak.'

'Sorry, I amend my remark, you're not controlling _all_ the time.'

'Really?' she asked, genuinely interested. 'When am I not then?'

'I can think of _one_ thing.' he answered just as sincerely, he flipped her over onto her back and they were already breathless with excitement. His fingers danced between her breasts, circled her navel and finally, he began to fondle her between her legs.

'You're right.' she agreed and she let out a soft moan.

oOo

_**Night before the Wedding**_

_Draco's and Pansy's appartment, London_

'Come let's start, it's getting late, you need to look good for tomorow.' insisted JP.

Pansy sat obediently on the stool in front of her vanity, she was wearing a pale pink nightgown and her hair was newly washed and perfectly dried.

'Do you _know_ how to do this?' asked Millicent skeptically.

'Yes, of course.' said JP affronted then he paused briefly. 'Well I've heard about it, you just brush the bride's hair the night before and with each brush you say a hope or dream.'

'Does it work?' asked Daphne sitting on the bed with her long legs crossed.

'I don't know! It doesn't hurt to try. I'll start.' began JP, he pulled the ivory comb through Pansy's smooth locks. 'One brush, I hope you'll get more and more beautiful each day.'

Pansy smiled and the other two pretended to gag. 'You're obssessed with her, JP, maybe you should marry her.' remarked Millicent.

'She's the only woman I'll love.' said JP dramatically.

'Whatever Drama Queen, my turn!' said Daphne, hopping off the bed and she snatched the comb none-too-gracefully but combed the bride's hair gently. 'I wish that you would always have great fun with bed with your man.'

'Daphne!' shrieked Millicent but Daphne looked pointedly at her.

'JP didn't say that the hope had to be decent. Besides, Pansy's getting _married_. She's going to have lots of sex with her husband! So it might as well be enjoyable!'

'Okay, okay, my turn! I hope that you'll have loads of cute kiddies.'

'Millicent, do you want me to be _fat_?'

'I don't think you could ever be, Pansy, seriously.'

'Give me the comb! I wish that someday you would consider giving Draco to me for one night, just one night-'

'Don't even finish combing my hair.' threatened Pansy as she stopped JP's hand, he had brushed down halfway.

'Fine, I wish that you would consider giving Draco to me for one night-' commenced JP again.

'JP...' growled Pansy.

'_So_ that he can learn from me how to impress you.' finished JP sulkily.

'Don't you have a wish, Pansy?' piped Daphne, taking the comb from JP.

'I do.' said Pansy blushing slightly. 'It's kinda cheesy though.'

'We love cheese.' smiled Millicent.

'I hope to spend my whole lifetime and beyond with the man of my dreams.' whispered Pansy.

The brush combed easily through her hair.

_The Burrow, London_

'Ouch, easy, Ginny.' winced Hermione.

'Your hair is soooo frustrating.' said her best friend grumpily, attacking her hair with the wooden brush and Hermione cried out in pain again.

'Stop, Ginny..._stop_. at this rate, I'm going to have no hair for tomorow! Here let me do it.' complained Hermione.

She thrust the brush into her palm and Hermione teased out the tangles in her hair expertly.

'You know how to do this?' asked Ginny with interest.

'I think so, I know the basics, I read it up in a book.' said Hermione honestly and Ginny rolled her eyes.

'I should've known.'

'Okay, so, one brush, I hope to spend my whole lifetime with Harry, just to love him more and more each day.' Hermione said softly pulling the brush through her wild hair slowly.

'Another brush, I hope to have my own family.'

'Finally, I hope to be with the man of my dreams until the day I die.'

oOo

_**Next Day, on the Big Day**_

_One of JP's many appartments, London_

'JACQUES-PIERE LARROQUE! If you come anywhere near me with that bloody wand of yours, I will personally ensure you die a slow painful death!'

JP calmly lowered his wand, fingering the creamy birch wood, with a disgusted scowl on his face.

'Don't raise your voice like that, _ma belle_. It's _unpleasant_.' he scolded, shaking his head as he dared another step towards the bride-to-be.

'JP, I'm deadly serious...' Pansy warned, but she composed herself immediately and swirled round to face his wall-length mirror, she examined herself while keeping a close eye on her still-scowling friend.

She allowed her frowning face to smile.

The wedding dress was beautiful. It was exactly how she designed it, from the beaded diamonds on the collar to the silky woven butterflies and skylarks. The latter, which her friend was _not_ happy about. It seemed JP, although a very concious fashion wildchild (or man in his case), was very _pro _for animal rights. He was chair for several campaigns for the beasts of the world; both muggle and wizarding. He would launch into lengthy lectures when the appropiate occasion arose for him to preach his passion. Something Pansy Parkinson-Soon-To-Be-Malfoy forgot about, she had forgotten how religious he was on this matter.

'It's a design, JP, it's not like I shot several skylarks and _sewed_ them onto the silk!' she said quickly before he started his little speech, she spoke even more quickly when he gasped involuntarily and his nostrils flared when she said 'shot'. 'I'm not having you remove them, it's _my_ wedding and my _dress_!'

'Pansy, I can't understand why you would want to parade around with animals on your dress, it's so _unnatural_. Please..._ma belle_, just the skylarks. You can keep the butterflies but please, please let me remove those skylarks. They remind me when Jasper died. He was a beautiful bird.' pleaded JP.

JP also had a passion for birds; especially exotic ones. He was currently single surprisingly as none of his previous boyfriends shared his passion for the winged beasts. Jasper was beautiful and JP had arranged an extravagant funeral for this one-

'JP, Jasper was a budgie.' Pansy said pointedly.

'Fine.' huffed JP and he immediately stopped his act and he glared nastily at the future . 'I can't believe I stooped that low to _beg _you.'

'You know your little weepy girly tantrums don't work on me.' she grinned. 'Now, do I look beautiful?'

'You look beautiful.' answered JP automatically and added. 'As always.'

'How long have I got left?' asked Pansy as she examined herself in the mirror again, flicking a stray hair at the front.

'Les femmes!' tutted JP and he swatted her hand away. 'You're ruining your hair. Monsieur Trave! Ici!'

She sighed as she sat gently in front of his vanity set, the hairstylist hurried forward and began to secure her hair again, fixing the front: it was an intricate style, her hair was partly braided and partly twisted into a beautiful crown on her head, matching diamond swirls were woven into the braids and to complete, she just needed a square of emerald silk to cover her face.

'Giselle! Come here and touch up her make up! Hurry! There's ten minutes until the bridal sedan arrives.' barked JP. He was beginning to feel excited too but also anxious for his friend.

'Please close your eyes, Pansy.'

Pansy obeyed, feeling a gentle flutter across her eyelids and when she was instructed to open them again, JP was kneeled in front of her.

'You do look beautiful, _ma belle_. I have bought you a present.' he said, and he showed her a pair of diamond earrings, they glistened in the sunlight streaming from his bedroom window. He helped her pierce them through her ear lobes. 'Complete. I'm sorry, Pansy. I have to go and oversee that your wedding runs smoothly. I will see you there.'

JP gave her a swift kiss on the hand so not to ruin her make-up and he squeezed her hand reassuringly before leaving promptly, throwing his neat blazer over his arm.

Several minutes later after his departure, Giselle announced that the bridal sedan had arrived and was ready to leave. The man named lifted the silk cloth over Pansy's head, her world suddenly became an opaque green, she stood up carefully and Giselle apparated with her to the front private gardens where her means of travel awaited.

oOo

_The Kitchen, the Burrow, London_

'_Mother_.' stressed Fleur throatily dabbing at Mrs Weasley's face with a light piece of tissue but the tears continued to fall incessantly. 'Please do stop crying. You are ruining your make-up!'

'Mum, _stop it_.' agreed Ginny, pinning another long curl to the back of Hermione's head. 'You never cried this much on my wedding!'

'Oh shush you two, can't I be proud? Another one of my daughters is getting married!' cried the woman.

'Oh Molly...' blubbered Hermione.

'Mum! Look, this is why we told you to stop! Please don't start Hermione, no offence but crying really doesn't suit you. You'll ruin your make-up too!' said Ginny exasperated.

'Yes, Hermione, do try to control yourself.' scolded Mrs Granger lightly but she lifted her hand and brushed her daughter's smooth cheek. 'You look beautiful, darling.'

'I'm so nervous, mum.' confessed Hermione looking down at her hands, she wasn't so sure of herself today for some strange reason, she kept thinking something was going to go wrong.

'Everyone is on their big day. Isn't that so, Ginny?' smiled her mother and Ginny nodded furiously in the hand-held mirror Hermione was holding. 'I think your father's more nervous today than he was on _our_ wedding day.'

Hermione laughed nervously, this was _real_, was Harry just as nervous? What was he doing at the moment?

'Has anyone spoken to Harry since yesterday afternoon?' she asked.

'I spoke to him this morning when Blaise came to collect the boys.' smiled Ginny, her heart panging for her two little boys; Adam and Nathan, both two, she missed them so much but she knew they were safe under their dad's supervision. 'Harry came with my husband, hoping to sneak in to see you. Unluckily _I_ opened the door.'

The women all laughed but Hermione giggled for a different reason, Harry had flown secretly to the room she was staying in (Ginny's old bedroom). If he didn't come last night, she doubted she would be able to wait until the wedding to see him; _she _would have apparated or found some way to see him in George's appartment which was conviently close to their reception. The young couple had used a PortKey to get from Bangor to London early afternoon yesterday and they parted at George's place; Hermione to the Burrow and Harry stayed there. She reminisced about last night, Harry was insatiable than ever and after staying there for about an hour, he had left her wanting for more and she couldn't wait until _tonight_.

Eventually Hermione's hair was finished, Ginny was wonderful with hairstyling with a wand, she had twisted Hermione's golden hair back to the top of her hair and used her wand to define each long curl and it was all swept to her right shoulder then nestled on top of the waterfall of curls was same goblin-wrought tiara that Fleur and Ginny had worn on their wedding days.

'Dear me, is that the time?' said Mrs Weasley suddenly, she must have stopped crying to be able to peer at the clock.

'What time is it?' panicked Hermione. 'I'm not even in my dress!'

'It's fine, Hermione, you just need to slip it on, here's your heels, I'll leave them beside the cupboard.' soothed Ginny throwing a dark look at her mother.

'Dear, I better get going, make sure that _over-enthusiastic_ wedding planner of yours has got everything right.' said Mrs Weasley. She wasn't a bit thrilled that they let some _stranger_ organise their wedding and was determined to take some control to ensure everything was running smoothly.

'Can I leave with you, Molly?' asked Hermione's mother.

'Of course, dear, I was planning to.' smiled Mrs Weasley brightly taking the other woman's hand and patting it affectionately.

'Hermione, take a deep breath, you'll be amazing, everyone's eyes will be on you.' reassured her mother.

Hermione nodded and watched the two women leave the kitchen, Ginny was running around, tidying everything up quickly with a flick of her wand, the bride watched the mother of two touch up her own make up; Ginny looked stunning in her lavender gown.

'How do I look?' asked Ginny worriedly, catching Hermione look dazedly at her.

'Better than me.' assured Hermione. 'You look wonderful.'

'Pessimistic are we?' grinned Ginny and she leaned forward to brush a strand of hair behind Hermione's ear. ''Mione, you look amazing. Your mum's right, everyone won't be able take their eyes off you, Harry will definitely be drooling!'

'Thanks, Ginny.'

'Ginny!' called her sister-in-law, Fleur re-entered the kitchen from the porch. 'Blaise owled you!'

'Oh shoot.' cursed Ginny but she smiled widely as her blue eyes scanned the piece of parchment quickly.

'What is it? Is everything okay there?' demanded the nervous bride.

'No, it's fine, honey.' said Ginny quickly then she explained. 'It seems _I'm _the only one who can control my two rascals. Blaise told to me come down quickly. It seems like Adam thought it would be really funny to push Nathan into the small pond there.'

'Is Nathan okay?'

'Yes, his dad was close by, he fished him out just as quickly as he fell in. Now Blaise has two screaming toddlers in his care: Nathan is obviously crying from the shock and Adam...I don't know why he's crying, attention-seeking probably. I better bring him a new suit, somehow I anticipated _this_.' sighed Ginny then she looked apologetically at Hermione. 'I'm really sorry, Hermione, but I will make sure the sedan gets here, don't worry.'

Hermione could not appreciate her wonderful friend more, she was like the sister she never had. After Ginny confirmed the sedan was nearly here, she suggested that it was time for Hermione to get changed in her dress. Ginny left quickly after this, clutching a small bag of clothes in her right hand before she used the Floo connection to where everyone was waiting. Seconds after the green flames died down, they flared again and her brother Bill sweeped into the kitchen.

'You look gorgeous, Hermione.' the curse-breaker complimented as he hugged her brotherly. 'Is Fleur ready? Ron's outside, he said he would come in but he wants to see you at your best.'

'At my best?' inquired Hermione skeptically.

'I think he meant when you walk down to the altar, you will look stunning, not that you aren't right now.' said Bill but he lowered his voice. 'I think he actually wants to drive and show off his new car.'

It should be made known that Fleur Weasley was heavily pregnant with her second child; a boy, so she couldn't apparate or use the Floo. Secondly, Ron developed an unhealthy passion for muggle cars ever since he became a lot better off by playing for his all-time favourite Quidditch team. Hermione supposed Harry was really the blame, her husband-to-be was forever introducing his best mate muggle devices and was delighted when Ron was more than happy to learn to drive. They could hear Ron beeped the horn outside and Bill shook his head.

'Ginny sent your wedding planner to make sure you get into the sedan carefully. To be honest, I think it was mum's request to get rid of her, mum wants to reorganise some flowers.' he laughed.

Fleur appeared in the kitchen, her shimmering silver gown complimenting her light hair and dewy complexion. The beautiful glow that mothers-to-be emitted.

The doorbell rang and Bill announced that he would get it rather have his nearly bursting wife and the bride to stress. He muttered something about impatience and Hermione was pretty sure he was mumbling about Ron. However he returned with bright blue-eyed woman complete with long blonde hair that was worn in a sleek bun; their wedding planner.

'Miss Granger, you all ready to go?' beamed the lady.

'Yes, Leanne, can you help me finish up?' asked Hermione, lifting the matching green silk in her hand.

'We'll see you there then, Hermione.' said Bill and he assisted his wife slowly out of the kitchen.

'Are you nervous?' said Leanne softly, placing the silk over her head, she helped Hermione fixed her shoes before leading her out to follow the previous Weasley couple.

'A bit.' admitted Hermione, walking gently down the small steps.

oOo

_Tower Bridge, London_

Pansy lifted her veil of silk and peered through the translucent window of the sedan. This bridal chariot was a fairy tale come true: outside was painted red, the roof was gold and each corner dangled a velvety tassel with real jade ornaments, strong poles connected to either side of the sedan allowed four well dressed young men to carry it. Pansy was a bit meeked, she fretted she would make the chariot too heavy to lift but the planner assured her, it would not be a problem at all. The interior of the sedan was even more impressive than the outside, a luxurious modern leather seat for the bride to sit upon (the olden times was just a wooden seat), the walls cladded in fine silk and even the floor of the sedan was plush maroon carpet. The sway of the chariot was soothing to her nerves. She could see that they were passing over the Tower Bridge in London, the beautiful sight on this bridge could not be expressed, she was delighted when _Wonderful Wizard Weddings International _said that they could arrange for the bridge to be briefly closed to the public for them. Them...Pansy learnt that there was another wedding just like hers occuring at the same time. She could see visibly next to her another similar sedan but she was not annoyed, in fact it was better, it distracted some attention from her own wedding which was what Draco and Pansy wanted. She covered her face again and closed her eyes, focussing on what was about to happen in about half an hour's time.

She was getting married to Draco.

Mrs Pansy Malfoy.

She smiled, the day was looking good so far.

Hermione was enthralled with the sight beyond her lightly covered window; she couldn't see much through the translucent material but the beauty of the River Thames was still visible. She smiled as she stole a glance to the sedan next to her, she was curious as to who was having her wedding on the same day as hers. Hermione unfolded the piece of paper she had in her hand and smoothed it out before reading it again for the umpteenth time.

_To my stunning bride and soon-to-be wife,_

_Just half an hour until we'll be officially married!_

_Yours always,_

_Harry._

She folded it and tucked it into her bra (no pockets!) before reaching up to pull the veil back over her eyes.

Then, it was at that very moment, her action seemed to trigger a loud screeching noise.

Then, the sedan tipped over onto its side.

Then, Hermione heard a scream, but she wasn't sure it was her own.

Pansy cursed as she knocked her elbow into the wall of the sedan when it tipped over. She had screamed in fright, what was happening? She heard yells and then a rev of a car engine, she was about to crawl out of the chariot when the door was suddenly opened and a young man on his knees looking anxiously the raven beauty.

'Are you alright, Miss?'

'Yes, I'm fine, what happened?'

'Unexpected driver. Some man whose wife was pregnant with twins and she was in labour, he ignored the sign that the bridge was closed for an hour and he drove towards us, we didn't see each other coming. Are you hurt?'

'No, I'm fine.' assured Pansy.

They uprighted the sedan carefully before taking off again.

Hermione wouldn't stop shaking, even after one of the men lifting the sedan explained to her what had just happened, when they placed the sedan in position again and the door was safely shut, she removed Harry's little note from her lacy red bra, reading and re-reading his sweet message until her breathing evened. She even considered asking one of the men to send a owl ahead to tell Harry what had just happened but she decided firmly against it in the end; it was supposed to be a happy day, she wasn't hurt in any way so why upset and worry them all? She closed her eyes and rested against the leather upholstery, the swaying of the sedan seemed to maintain her composure.

oOo

_Harry's and Hermione's Reception, London_

Harry paced near the altar set up at the front of the room, his hands folded behind his back. Bill watched him wearily and Ginny calmed her two energetic twins before walking up to the nervous groom.

'Harry.' she said gently, placing her hand upon his upper arm.

'She should have been here twenty minutes ago.' said Harry seriously. 'What's happened? Do you think there was an accident? Maybe she had second doubts?'

'I strongly doubt that.' disagreed Ginny though she wasn't sure of the latter, Hermione was very nervous this morning but she loved Harry and she was very sure of her feelings for Harry. 'Harry, calm down, you're worrying the guests for nothing. My mum's already noticed Hermione's late, she's worrying enough for all of us. Hermione will be here soon, don't worry.'

It didn't help that Hermione's father strode towards them with a fierce look on his face.

'Harry, did you say something upsetting to Hermione this morning?' demanded her father.

'No, Richard-' began Harry.

'Richard!' scolded Hermione's mum who was immediately by the two men's side. 'Harry, dear, there's no need to explain yourself. Richard, Harry didn't even see her since yesterday afternoon.'

'That's not true.' admitted Harry sheepishly as the two parents turned towards him, frowning. 'I saw her for a while last night, we were just-'

'I don't even want to know!' interrupted Richard and he looked at Harry a little less harshly. 'Did you two have a fight?'

'No, we didn't.' answered Harry.

'The bride's here!' shouted their wedding planner, suddenly appearing at the door of the reception.

'See?' said Ginny, patting his arm.

Everyone quickly settled into their seats; the Weasleys along with Mrs Granger sitting at the front of course, then several close friends sat behind the family. Hermione's father, Richard, made his way to the door where he would escort his only daughter to the man of her dreams. Harry proceeded to the temporarily erected altar in front of the room. The walls were decked in simple gold furnishings with a embellished sign behind the altar, in elegant gold cursive: '_Harry Potter and Hermione Granger_'. Harry swallowed nervously and he was suddenly very concious of his shaking hands, what was he to do with them? Fold them behind his back? No. Clasp them together? NO. The emerald-eyed man settled for them to be hanging by his side, though they fisted the sides of his trousers.

At that moment, Hermione stepped in, she looked tall he thought and he remembered she said she was going to wear heels. Her face was covered but he knew it was her, he was so distracted by the chinese gown she wore...so fitting and sexy; he could only imagine what lay underneath the soft silk.

Her father at her side looked proudly around him and he even looked a bit weepy and reluctant to let his daughter go when they reached the front. Harry reached over and placed his hand on the small of Hermione's back.

Hermione smiled when she felt his intimate touch at the small of her back, and then the minister began to speak.

'We are gathered here together for this young man and woman. This wedding is rather unusual and we will commence with the traditional chinese rituals.' the minister's voice boomed.

She felt herself being led away from Harry and she remembered Leanne telling them the series of rituals that proceeded.

oOo

_Draco's and Pansy's Reception, somewhere else in London_

Draco was relieved when his father announced that his bride had arrived, he started pacing, a bad habit that his father usually scolded him for but today Lucius and Narcissa were too proud of their son to tell him off.

'Finally, it's rude to keep our guests waiting.' said Lucius.

'We're so proud of you, Draco.' said Narcissa, stroking his cheek before she and her husband went to settle in their seats.

Draco smirked lazily as his beautiful bride made her way down the altar with her father, he couldn't help noticing how the material clung to her hips and how she swayed them as she walked, suddenly the temperature soared up in the reception. Maybe this whole chinese wedding thing wasn't a bad idea after all. His mother had complimented them on a good choice of wedding; it was 'very modern' she said and Narcissa bought her own custom made elegant chinese robes to match the theme. Lucius on the other hand stuck to his customary black robes.

He eagerly took Pansy from her father and his arms rested possessively low on her back, his other hand clasped gently around her slim bare arm. He was so distracted with tonight's upcoming events (she had refused him sex for two days/nights) he scarely noticed the minister had begun to speak.

A cough interrupted his thoughts and he saw his mother glaring at him. _Oh damn_, he had forgotten about the rituals thing. First they had to turn towards the altar and bow down to the skies for blessing of their wedding.

oOo

**At the same time at both receptions:**

'Thank the blue heavenly skies for the blessing upon the bonding of these two young lovers.'

The couples bowed low to the altar.

'Thank the family and friends gathered here today who give them their blessings.'

They turned round and bowed to their guests.

'And finally thank each other, for you have found each other and may your love be eternal!'

They turned to face each other, this was it...they were forever bound, they bowed to each other.

'And so, I may now pronounce you husband and wife!'

_Hermione_

Hermione couldn't stop shaking as they turned round to the table beside the altar where they were to sign the documents that made their marriage official. Her head was still covered but she dipped her head forward and watched from the corner of her eye Harry's hand sign the thick paper elegantly. They were now married, it thrilled her to no end, tomorow they started a new life as husband and wife. Harry pushed the extravagantly feathered quill towards her and she picked it up with her shaking hand. Tears of happiness escaped her eyes, she never felt so overwhelmed, she dipped her head forwards even more, squeezing her eyes to rid the huge tears, it blurred her vision...she could only make out the straight line where she had to write her name. Hermione signed it shakily, she was so happy, she was finally Harry's and Harry's finally her's.

In hindsight later, she wondered why she couldn't see how wrong she was.

_Pansy_

Pansy smirked. About time that she and Draco were officially married, she had dreamed of being Mrs Draco Malfoy for ages, married to the one of the richest handsomest men in the world at the age of twenty-three! She looked ahead of her dreamily while Draco signed the official documents slowly; her head was still covered but it didn't matter, all she could see in front of her was her future. A successful career, _maybe_ one child, and oh...tonight. She smiled mischievously, disappointed Draco couldn't see inside her mind right now. It wasn't easy to resist his advances for two days but she was glad she perservered, tonight was going to be...totally mind-blowing.

Draco pushed the papers and quill towards her, she lifted the quill swiftly and signed her name without hesitation.

Her dreams...her future...with Draco...all seemed to shatter at that very moment.

oOo

_Signatures upon the Official Documents_

_Pansy's Reception_

_I herby declare, the marriage of the signed names of the wizard and witch below, official:_

_**Draco Abraxas Malfoy **_

_**Hermione Karen Granger**_

_Hermione's Reception_

_I herby declare, the marriage of the signed names of the wizard and witch below, official:_

_**Harry James Potter **_

_**Pansy Olivia Parkinson**_

oOo

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A/N This had to be the longest chapter I have EVER written in all my fanfiction years!

I thank you all, the response from the last chapter was immense! I know everyone was looking forward to this chapter and the pressure to write this ideal chapter for you was overwhelming! I hope it was up to your standards.

A few things I have to say is I'm sorry to those who live or have been to London, I'm sorry if any of my descriptions are wrong. As for the rituals they're pretty accurate so I'm not making that up. I know a few of you may be sceptic about the validity of this situation. I actually got this idea from a chinese soap. A girl was betrothed to a really handsome man and the evil stephmother's daughter was to be married to a ugly man, so the step mother switched the sedans around and what do you know? They married the wrong people! And the men actually slept with the women before they realised the mix-up!

Was this chapter hard to follow?

Thanks to bunny08 for her name for Hermione's workplace!

_Next Chapter:_

_Reactions to the mix up!_

**REVIEW**


	4. Chapitre 4 Il a voulu me tuer!

**Clearing up the Confusion:**

_**If you were NOT confused about the mix-up in the last chapter please read on after the title of the story.**_

I know several of you were a bit confused about the bride swap in the last chapter. I tried to explain through replies to your reviews but I will make a few pointers anyways.

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**1. How did the brides get mixed up?**

Ans: Remember the man with the pregnant wife drove crazily onto the Tower Bridge? Imagine two bridal sedans (hoped you checked out the picture in my profile page) close together and they collided and fell to their sides. Imagine the men supporting the sedans sprang away from the fast moving car bounding towards them and their confusion as to which sedan was theirs. Their wedding planners did not walk with their sedans and the men didn't see the bride's faces so when they checked if Hermione and Pansy were okay, they didn't know that it was the wrong bride.

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**2. How did the brides not notice that their reception was different? And how didn't they notice their respective groom and father weren't there?**

Ans: It was described subtly but the cloths of silk that they covered their heads with are opaque, so opaque you can't see through them, imagine you placed a green cloth over your head you would only see green. I know it seems all-too-convenient for this story but this opaque cloth is a purely factual, chinese brides did wear these. That's why they need assistance because they can't see. I understand I may have confused you by using the word 'veil'. Also Harry mentioned that he noticed Hermione looked tall but remember he said she was going to wear heels, for Pansy you can safely assume that she was going to wear kitten-heels or something. I base their lack of judgement on the _overwhelmness_ of their wedding day. If you think about it, you can get so worked up not to notice.

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_**THINGS HERMIONE MIGHT HAVE NOTICED IF SHE WAS PAYING ATTENTION:**_

A) Harry signing the documents elegantly and that his hand was pale. Also the _extravagantly_ feathered quill? Sounds like Harry? Nope.

B) If she wasn't so overwhelmed with happiness, she might not have started to cry and we all know how hard to it to see when your eyes are full of tears, I know Hermione is smart but it wouldn't have occured to her that she might be marrying the wrong man.

_**THINGS PANSY MIGHT HAVE NOTICED IF SHE WAS PAYING ATTENTION:**_

A) Draco's hand wasn't his usual pale, slightly tanned actually.

B) She was so caught in dreaming about Mrs Malfoy and so distracted about consummating their marriage that night. Again, it would have never occured to her that she was not marrying Draco so she signed the papers eagerly.

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**3. Why did you write about what Draco and Harry did when it clearly **_**wasn't**_** them?**

Ans: It was more from the bride's point of view. But mainly to confuse you (which I suceeded: I don't know if it was good confusion or bad confusion) and to create an atmosphere of impending horror!

**_Hope this helped!_**

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oOo

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

**Chapitre Quatre - Il a voulu me tuer!**

_Malfoy-Parkinson Reception, London_

Hermione Granger wished her eyes would water again so she could wipe them free of tears again. No...she wished she had never let Ginny drag her out of bed this morning by tempting her with her favourite blueberry pancakes.

No, no! She wished the bridal sedan went missing somehow and never came to the Burrow so she could reluctantly (at the time) use the Floo or trust Ron's crazy driving skills just this _one_ time to get her to _her_ wedding.

No, no, NO! She _wished_ her sedan got ran over by the crazy man on the bridge and she was killed accidentally to save her from this horror!

She stared down at the thick paper of the documents lying innocently in front of her, her green silk veil covered half the page.

Malfoy.

Draco Malfoy.

Hermione _Malfoy._

She squeezed her eyes shut and re-opened them and tried a few deep breaths. _It's fine, _Hermione reassured herself as she re-assessed her current situation, _this has bound to have happened before, we'll get divorced. No big deal. Just stay calm._

Hermione lifted her covered head as high as she could. _Damn,_ she could barely see around her and she instantly regretted not doing her wedding the traditional way, her eyes darted around a world of green silk, frantically calculating an escape route that would leave her in one piece and _undetected _from the Malfoys and Parkinsons gathered there.

So how _does_ one leave the wrong wedding _unnoticed?_

Just when Hermione finished plotting her grand and magnificant escape (she was going to grab the documents and make a run for it, play the runaway bride and apparate home and _burn _the blasted documents then find Harry...hopefully unmarried then and then discuss their sticky predicament), the minister had cleverly decided to announce those words every bride had looked forward to hear.

Oh sorry, except Hermione _Malfoy_ who did not want to hear!

'You may kiss the bride, Draco!'

The blonde man smirked as if finally receiving his prize, he put one large hand on her upper arm noticing the goosebumps on the usually smooth skin...she was actually shivering. His long fingers curled around the front edge of the silk veil covering his bride's face. Hermione tensed in horror, Draco's thumb ran soothing circles on the skin of her arm in attempt to calm her furiously beating heart. As the silk drew up higher and higher slowly, she started to count feverishly the buttons that began to appear on the front of his tuxedo, his matching emerald tie also began to appear on his broad chest and finally Draco swiftly drew off her cover.

Hermione swore she stopped breathing during these few seconds of pure _torture_. She hadn't seen Draco in a while, the last time must have been when she and Harry went to Diagon Alley to cram in their last minute Christmas shopping, the pureblood wizard had been waiting patiently outside the robe shop for Pansy who was just his girlfriend then. Hermione couldn't ever remember being this close up to him, but she always imagined that the day they stood close together he would have looked his usual; a fierce sneer that screamed '_MUDBLOOD_' and his arms would be folded across his chest with his hands tucked neatly out of sight to avoid touching her _germs_. He would also use his impressive height to tower over her petite body; to intimidate and to threaten her.

But he looked nothing like _that_. He was standing less than an arm's length away, his hand still on her upper arm, his thumb stopped tracing her skin. His grey eyes were wide with shock and his lips turned thin and threatened to disappear completely. Suddenly his expression change, his eyes narrowed to pools of darkness like a storm brewing and his lips twisted into his famous sneer, his hand that was massaging her before dropped quickly to his side as if she was scalding hot and his other hand crushed the square of green material tightly in his fist.

It was only then when the ladies of his family and could-have-been future family gasped, Hermione only remembered how to breathe.

'Surprise.' she said weakly. However her new husband was _not_ in the mood for jokes.

'What is the _mudblood_ doing at the wedding?' yelled someone in the audience. It seemed like the spotlight rested on just the two of them; the circle leaned more towards Hermione, the rest of the people in the reception were just in the darkness surrounding them.

Trapping her. Hermione shivered, wishing her hair wasn't pulled from her face so she could at least protect herself by hiding in a curtain of her hair, she opted for wrapping her arms around herself defensively. It was chaos, the Malfoys began shouting and the Parkinsons started to growl lowly at her and they only fell silent when Draco held his hand up.

He took one step towards her and she took one step back. He proceeded forward with another menacing step and she tried to move back again but the small of her back hit the table they were standing beside.

'Granger.' he said, a deep snarl rising from the back of his throat. 'Why are you here?'

Hermione let out a small squeak, her body rigid and her form aching from bending backwards over the table, as far away as she could get from him.

'Please explain why you have decided to _gatecrash_ my wedding.' Draco said calmly but there was a hint of suppressed anger in his voice. Also the purplish veins on the back of his clenched fists stood out and pulsed.

'Maybe she wanted to be the next Malfoy bride!' said someone nastily, the man was laughing and others joined his cruel laughter but Draco seemed to take him seriously, there was a flash of concern in his grey eyes for a millisecond, for Pansy probably.

'What have you done with Pansy!' demanded Draco angrily, unfolding his arms and gripping her shoulders tightly.

Suddenly the fear that had been coursing through Hermione's veins erupted into boiling anger, she fought off his grip and slapped his face; he flinched and loosed his hands, her smack resounded in the reception.

'How dare-'

'Get _real, _Malfoy. I didn't do anything to her, I have better things to do than to kidnap your bride! I have better things to wish for than to _desire_ to be _your_ bride!' she seethed, waving her fists in the air, a few curls fell out of its hold and one strand fell into her raging mouth. She spat it back out.

'Then why are you here? In a chinese dress the same colour as Pansy's? Please explain to my family and I because this whole situation is pointing out that you are an _imposter_.' said Draco triumphantly, folding his arms in front of him again.

'I was getting married today. They must have mixed up the sedans at the accident on the bridge-' she said coldly returning back his defiant glare then she froze suddenly, her hands clutching her face. '_Oh no!_'

'What is it?' demanded Lucius sarcastically, breaking into their spotlight.

'Oh _fuck_.' swore Draco as it dawned onto him too, he grabbed onto Hermione's wrist. 'Please tell me you were not getting married to Scarhead _Potter_?'

'Harry.' whispered Hermione, her voice was thick and she swallowed hard; she will _not_ cry, especially in front of her current audience.

Draco groaned into his hands but he had expected the worst, over the years his hatred for the Boy Wonder had dissolved to mutual dislike now that Draco was much more mature than when he was at Hogwarts. Frankly, he just cringed at the thought of Potter having his hands over _his_ woman.

'The ceremony might just have started, we could stop it!' said Hermione, sounding a lot more hopeful.

'Ten points for the Gryffindor princess!' snapped the blonde groom. 'You know where to go?'

'Malfoy, it's_ my_ wedding, you idiot! Of course I do.' she retorted rolling her eyes skywards. 'Hold me!'

'_Hold you_? I think not, Granger!'

'Draco, this is no time for arguments!' scolded Narcissa, her emerald painted nails clutched her oriental robes worriedly.

Hermione inclined her head towards his mother in thanks but Lucius stepped in front of Narcissa and scowled at Hermione in disgust. Draco's pale hand found its way onto her forearm and gripped it firmly.

'Ready?' she asked and without waiting for his reply, she spun them around on the spot.

oOo

_Potter-Granger Reception, London_

Pansy set down the quill after signing, a round of excited cheers and claps filled the room thickly. She saw a pair of hands reach for the signed documents and she assumed them to be the minister's. She heard the papers rustle and then a few minutes later something snapped shut with a _click_. Pansy tapped her foot impatiently, the minister was taking so long to announce the kiss.

'And finally, you may kiss the bride!'

Pansy stayed rooted to the spot, finally the kiss! This one kiss would seal hers and Draco's futures together.

Harry and Hermione had discussed 'The Kiss'. Hermione being the one who needed finer details questioned how would they share this kiss that unified them? A peck? A steamy hot kiss? Harry assured her he would surprise her on the day. He opted for something romantic.

Now he was standing in front of his bride, his hands no longer shook and he had to swallow down the excitement that nearly choked him, he couldn't wait to see the beautiful face of his wife underneath the silk, her face was slightly bobbing tilting up to meet his kiss. Harry stepped towards her and drew her in close with one hand low on her back. Pansy drew in deep breath and closed her eyes eagerly, she could smell his cologne which was different today, she decided she would tell him later she liked the change. He took the bottom of the silk with his other hand and lifted it upwards, their faces were so close now, a breath away and as soon as her mouth appeared, a sweet thing framed with red lips, he pressed his mouth hard on hers with his green eyes closed. She obliged willingly, his jaw was freshly shaved and smooth against hers and when she parted her lips, his tongue reached out and caressed hers tenderly. Pansy felt the hand on her back trail up along her spine and she shivered in delight when its long fingers cradled the back of her head, she relished the feel of the silk pulled off her face finally. The cheers suddenly broke into loud gasps, Pansy smiled.

Hermione and Draco apparated to the outside of her reception. Her wedding planner, Leanne was leaning against the doorframe dabbing at her eyes with a hankerchief, it seemed she was overwhelmed by the wedding. The men who carried the bridal sedan stood beside her and they looked uncomfortable.

'Isn't it a beautiful wedding?' they heard Leanne say.

'It would have been if it was the right groom and right bride!' said Draco angrily.

The blonde woman looked up, looking slightly offended at the handsome man in front of her. He was not alone. When her blue eyes drifted across to a pair of beautiful brown eyes on a all-too-familiar face, Leanne shrieked.

'_Hermione_?' she asked in disbelief as if she was a ghost, she stared at her and then her eyes darted to inside the reception, she looked flabbergasted when she saw Harry and Pansy kissing at the altar.

Both Hermione and Draco ignored her and they ran into the room.

'Harry!' screamed Hermione.

'Potter!' growled Draco.

Harry let his lips form a small smile as he pulled back slightly, grinning through half-closed eyes. He heard his named screamed, it sounded like Hermione but it couldn't be because she was standing in front of him and the scream sounded distant. He also heard his surname..._that_ voice sounded like...

Pansy started to open in eyes, she just heard Draco yell Potter? As in Harry Potter? What was _Harry Potter _doing here?

The Weasleys and Grangers watched dumbfounded, confusion etched into their horrified expressions, as Hermione and Draco sprinted down the aisle. It was a sight. Hermione who lagged about two metres behind her new husband, hitching her dress as far as she could to run but she hobbled along in vain. Draco's powerful long legs blurred into black as he darted towards the couple in front, his curled fists in the air.

Of course, Draco reached the kissing couple first. Before either could open their eyes fully, Draco knocked Harry to the ground and screams filled the air. The blonde man scrambled to his feet, reaching for Pansy was his first concern, beating Harry into unrecognisible pulp was his second.

'Baby...' murmured Draco, pulling Pansy towards him with her face pressed to his broad chest. She listened to his frantically beating heart, dazed and felt him stroke her head reassuringly. 'Are you okay?'

Pansy struggled for breath and he let her go slightly but still held her protectively in his arms.

'Draco! What's wrong? That was a such a hot-' she smiled as she peered over his shoulder to see how her family had reacted to their romantic kiss but when she saw a sea of red-heads, she looked at Draco. 'You _invited _the _Weasleys_?!'

'Babe...' Draco tried to explain.

'What hit me?' groaned a voice.

Pansy pushed Draco away and stared at the man sprawled on the floor in shock. A handsome man in a black tuxedo, his green eyes opened groggily and blinked a few times before meeting hers, his dark hair messy and a familiar scar on his forehead in a shape of a lightning bolt.

'Potter?' she whispered.

A blur of white darted pass her, it was a woman with brown curls pinned to the back of her head, she was wearing a green chinese dress similar to hers. Just when Pansy thought her jaw couldn't strectch anymore, it dropped even more when she realised it was the book-worm and house elf lover, Hermione Granger.

Hermione flung herself onto Harry's chest, finally letting her body shake in body-wracking sobs. She clung to Harry's chest still even when the emerald-eyed man sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist.

''Mione...what's wrong?' he whispered, his eyes narrowed when they settled on Draco and Pansy standing together, he remembered that their names _weren't_ on the guest list.

'I'm married to Malfoy!' cried Hermione, burying her face in the hollow of his neck, she always did that when she was upset.

'Haha.' laughed Harry weakly but when he looked around him, no one else was not sharing his amusement.

She drew back from him, her hands still clasped around his neck and she looked pointedly at him.

'I'm _wasn't_ making a joke, Harry.' she said.

'_You're married to Hermione Granger?!_' shrieked Pansy then as she whipped round to glare accusingly at Draco with her finger pointed at him.

'It's not what you think, Pansy.' Draco said quickly.

'HERMIONE GRANGER? I knew you were a charmer but bigamy? You were going to marry us both and you _thought_ you were going to get away with it?!' screamed Pansy, her beautiful face screwed up in anger. Something seemed to click in her mind and she backed away from him in fear. 'You paid someone to run me over on Tower bridge so it gave you enough time to marry Granger didn't you!'

'Oh come on, Pansy.' said Draco impatiently, he tried to reach for her but she continued to retreat as if he had ten heads. 'You aren't seriously thinking that I would want to marry the _mudblood_?'

Pansy screamed again but this time it was because Harry had jumped onto his feet delivering a punch in the blonde man's lower abdomen, a _crack _resounded while Draco stumbled back clutching his left side in agony. His grey eyes started to burn with cold fire and he launched himself forward to his attacker, his fist connected to Harry's jaw.

'Stop, stop!' shrieked Pansy, trying to stop the wrestling men but she stepped back when Draco dodged another punch Harry threw at him and he nearly crashed into the raven haired woman.

'Harry, please listen!'

'Hermione, the ferret called you...' seethed Harry as he managed to grab Draco in a headlock, the other man started to twist frantically but it was all in vain, he was not as strong as Harry who trained every day as an Auror.

'There's a misunderstanding.' said Hermione calmly and she looked at Draco's face, he started to turn slightly purple and Harry flexed his arm absent-mindedly while he focussed on what she was saying. 'Harry, let go of him, he can't breathe.'

When he let go of him, Draco collapsed to his knees, furiously massaging his throat and Pansy threw herself on the ground to kneel beside him.

'What is going on!' she demanded. She first looked at Harry then Hermione standing beside him and finally to Draco.

'There...there...' panted Draco breathlessly.

'There was a mix up.' announced Hermione, everyone in the room was focussed on her now. 'On the Tower Bridge, we married the wrong people.'

As Hermione recounted the story quickly, Harry beside her paled by the minute and he had to support himself on the chair.

'You mean I'm married to Parkinson?' demanded Harry in disbelief and he looked at Pansy who was glaring him as if he tried to perv on her. '_Parkinson_?'

'Believe me, Potter, the feeling's mutual.' she retorted then she began to wail, her face in her hands. 'How could this have happened?'

Then she suddenly stood up and made way towards the minister with determination in her strides.

'Give me the papers.' hissed Pansy to the cowering balding man with her hand held out, palm up. The other three watched her helplessly as the dark-haired woman snatched the offered papers and scrutinised them quickly and carefully, she moaned when she saw Harry's name and not Draco's then she proceeded to rip them in half but the papers resisted tearing.

'Fuck!' swore Pansy, she pulled her dress up but it was too fitted, clinging to her like second skin so everyone gaped at her as she ripped the already-made side slits higher up her hips, Draco stared at the leg cladded in tan suspensors and a tan garter/holster holding her wand; evidently aroused by the sight.

'Better.' breathed Pansy, satisfied. '_Incendio_!'

A tongue of red fire erupted from her wand as she tried to set the papers on fire, but the crimson flames merely licked and caressed the edges of the page, apparently no effect on the documents.

Desperately, she grabbed the quill lying on the table and first, she used her wand to erase the names but the ink did not budge then she resorted to scribbling out the names with the quill but the dark ink dripped off the papers as if they were waterproof.

'You can't destroy or deface them. It's no use.' said the minister timidly.

Pansy leaned against the edge of the table, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

'I can't stay married to him!' moaned Hermione, her finger jabbing at the Draco.

'And I definitely can't stay married to _her_.' spat Draco, glaring at his new wife.

'I don't want to be Boy Wonder's wife!' wailed Pansy, shaking.

'This is the best news of the _century!_' laughed the Weasley twins in unison.

'Minister, what can we do?' asked Harry wisely, clearly not going to join the others into moaning.

'Mr Potter, you know very well that in Wizarding World if the couple is to divorce, their marriage has to go through a series of criteria to analyse _every _aspect because the bonding of a wizard and witch is very sacred and not to be broken lightly. In other words, it is very hard to get a divorce in this world.' explained the man.

'You mean-' asked Hermione flabbergasted.

'_But_...' interrupted the minister. 'Wizarding divorces have been granted before. In fact, most couples who want to file for divorce eventually end up staying together.'

'_Why_?' asked Pansy skeptically.

'Because usually...regardless of whether the divorce is filed successfully or unsuccessfully...' began the minister, 'the procedures and time to analyse it usually takes at least one year. The couple unfortunately have to live together during this entire period and have to be faithful to their partner also. This usually forces couples to stay together and many end up refusing to divorce because of the length of time. After one year, they don't even _know_ if it's successful or not.'

'One year...' echoed Hermione.

'Well I'm not staying with the mudblood in _my_ house for a year!' sneered Draco loudly.

Draco doubled over again, the other side of his ribs cracked this time and slight _whoosh_ resulted.

But this time, it was Ron Weasley who delivered the punch.

oOo

_St Mungos, London_

When Draco opened his eyes, he noticed he was in a white room. Four walls, a window and a small red loveseat. As his grey eyes blearily adjusted to the bright light from overhead, he realised he was still in his wedding attire, though his jacket and white shirt were unbuttoned and his abdomen was wrapped tightly in layers of stiff bandage, he caught his reflection on the silver-coloured vase on the small table beside him. His face was distorted in the curvature of the ornament but he could see clearly how awful he looked. His blonde hair was unkempt and stuck to his forehead, he felt around his face with his cold fingers wincing as he moved and he found the skin to be slightly sticky with sweat. His lips were almost as pale as his skin. Finally, Draco re-assessed his surroundings one more time. This time, noticing the freshly washed curtain undrawn beside his -bed and a clip board beside the headboard with his patient number and his name.

He was in the hospital.

St Mungos.

His ears pricked when he heard a clatter of heels grow louder and louder then they abruptly stopped before the door to his room swung open effortlessly and in walked Hermione. She had removed the spells holding her hair up and the pins securing the curls so her hair draped around her shoulders in messy waves. Her eyes were red from crying and although he could tell she tried to clean herself up, there was still a slight smear of her eye-makeup, she had taken off her lip-stick too but it didn't matter because she chewed on her bottom lip in worry so much in the past couple of hours, it was swollen and deep red. Hermione was still wearing Cho's wedding dress with a black blazer around her; Harry's.

'You're awake.' she noted. He rolled his eyes and she stepped carefully towards him, her shaking hands cradling a half-full polysterene cup of lukewarm pumpkin juice.

'Well done.' he praised her sarcastically. 'Where's Pansy? Are my parents here?'

'Pansy is outside with your parents, she wasn't allowed in because she wasn't family...' trailed off Hermione, she looked pained to be here but she continued bravely. 'Your parents were in here half an hour ago, they decided to wait outside because you were still sleeping.'

'What happened? I just remember that big Weasley oaf lunging at me.' scowled Draco, his fingers touched his bandaged stomach gingerly.

'Oh.' she said, he noted her swollen lips formed an uneven 'O'. 'He shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry, sometimes Ron's temper gets the better of him. He punched you, harder than Harry did, your ribs cracked and punctured your lungs. The Healer gave you some Dreamless Draught, you took it while you were awake...well your eyes were open, I _thought_ you were awake. Actually thinking about it now, you were muttering incohertly.'

'What did have you been doing? Have you been here the _entire_ time?' mocked Draco.

Hermione looked annoyed and she drew Harry's blazer around her more tightly. '_No_, Malfoy, I hate to burst your bubble but I was at the Ministry with Harry to see if they could do anything to help our current predicament.'

'And?' asked Draco a little too eagerly.

She sighed and Draco slumped his shoulder immediately; it was bad news, he knew it.

'The same as everyone else, we have to _wait_.' she said sadly.

'Didn't Scarhead use his bloody famous scar and try to win his way?'

'His name's _Harry_. Harry's not like that, he doesn't parade around just because he's Harry Potter, he hates that.'

'Well did he?'

Hermione shifted on her feet, 'This time, he did.'

'Ha..._Harry's not like that, he doesn't parade around just because he's_...ow!' he imitated her voice. Hermione punched him lightly in the arm, her face not sympathetic at all when he winced.

'At least he tried! It's not like you would have been more helpful, Malfoy!'

'I bet I could have been.'

'What? Pay your way through?'

'Exactly.'

Her auburn eyes narrowed and she folded her arms across her chest. 'I _really_ don't like you, I thought we could be more civilised now that we're adults. I don't know how I'm going stand you for one whole year!'

Draco frowned he forgot about that, his head was still hazy from the Drought he took.

'Simple, the Manor's massive, you can stay at one end and I'll stay at the other end.' shrugged Draco. 'Get on with our own lives until the divorce files through.'

'I am _not _staying at the Manor!' retorted Hermione angrily. '_And_...the divorce might not be successful!'

'It better be bloody successful!' roared Draco, he sneered at her. 'I don't want to spend my entire with a _Mudblood_!'

Hermione took a one look at him, feeling his hatred for her radiate off him in waves, she burst into tears and fled from his room.

*

Narcissa Malfoy and Pansy Now-Potter jumped when Hermione burst out of Draco's room in angry tears, even Lucius Malfoy seemed to flinch.

'Oh dear.' said Narcissa, shaking her head.

'Come on, Narcissa, I think Draco's awake now. The Healer said I could go in after two hours. Let's go.' murmured Pansy, her face was streaked with dry tears.

'Mother. Father...Pansy.'

Draco looked wearily at Pansy, he took in her trembling lips and he tried to tell her with his eyes that he was sorry, he had failed her.

'I'm so sorry, Pansy, Granger just told me-'

'I can wait a year.' Pansy said fiercely.

'That is _if_ it is successful.' said Draco but he seemed to be a bit more relieved. He reached out for Pansy's hand but Lucius objected.

'Lucius!' scolded Narcissa, knowing immediately why her husband had decided to intervene.

'Narcissa, they're married, if a reporter catches them-' frowned Lucius.

'_Now_ isn't the time to talk about the Malfoy reputation!' she hissed.

'Not the Malfoy reputation, dear.' sighed Lucius. '_Their_ reputation. Draco's reputation and especially Pansy's. She works in a world of gossip and as an elite fashionista she can't have rumours flying around her. They worked so hard for this.'

'Lucius is right, Narcissa.' agreed Pansy, she dropped her hand but stayed close to Draco. 'The minister at Potter's reception said that we had to be faithful to our partners. Nothing can go wrong now! Otherwise we might not be able to get a divorce!'

'I suppose you're right. What a mess!' said Narcissa.

'Why did the Granger girl flee this room in tears, Draco?' inquired Lucius.

'I...' muttered Draco, his body heating up again as he suddenly thought about how much he loathed Hermione.

'You didn't!' gasp Pansy, narrowing her eyes in shock. She was ashamed of him. 'Draco, that's very serious! Like your father said, we worked hard to get the wizarding community to respect and to not fear us! You can't verbally abuse her!'

'Son, please tell me you did not-' sighed his father.

'I called her a Mudblood okay? What's wrong? I don't understand, she will always be inferior to us!'

'But times have changed, Draco.' said Lucius. 'The final Battle changed roles, we seek for _their_ respect, don't make this harder. I've learned to change my prejudiced views and it's time you let go of yours.'

oOo

_Canteen in St Mungos, London_

Harry pushed the blueberry muffin across the small table towards Hermione.

'Eat, Hermione, you look like you're going to faint.'

'No.' mumbled Hermione, breaking into fresh tears again, her body shook.

'It's your favourite, please eat, you don't know how much it hurts me to see you like this.' he pleaded.

She reluctantly held out her hand for it, he eagerly unwrapped the cover for her and tore off a small chunk, placing it in her palm.

'Eat.' he encouraged.

Hermione put it in her mouth obediently, chewing it slowly, it was so dry and when she finally looked up into Harry's kind and loving sweet face, she knocked the crumbling muffin out of his hands and threw herself onto him, clutching him desperately.

'This isn't real! This isn't happening! Harry, please take me home, I don't want to spend this one year with Malfoy, I want you, Harry! Please!' she wailed.

Harry stroked her back before letting her go firmly, it pained him to do so but people around them were watching them in curiosity. He glared at them before touching her cheek.

'One year isn't that long, Hermione. You'll wait for me won't you?' he asked softly.

'Yes.' she said ferverishly, closing her eyes and she pressed her cheek to his warm large hand desperately. She opened her auburn eyes and they sparkled with tears and determination. 'Yes...I'll wait however long it takes to spend my lifetime with the right man!'

oOo

* * *

_(Title: Il a voulu me tuer! = He wanted to kill me!)_

**A/N Hopefully that cleared things up!**

**I have a problem with typing, every time I write something like St Mungos, when I put a dot after 'St', the word St Mungos disappears completely when I save the document on FFnet! Also with names like Mr (dot) Malfoy. Why?!**

**The response is immense and I hope you'll stay with me! I'm going to try to update like crazy because I'm away this saturday for one week then five days later when I get back I'm away for my holiday for THREE weeks! But I'll make sure I'll leave you satisfied...for a while!**

**PLEASE CHECK OUT MY FAIRLY NEW STORY CALLED _THE WINGED OMEN_ for more Hermione/Draco action! I promise you, it's got a good plot!**

**Also I want to ask you how you want this story to go. Right now, it's manageable with Harry/Pansy and Draco/Hermione in the same chapter...should I have alternate chapters for each couple?**

* * *

**Next Chapter:**

**The Malfoys aren't really loving Hermione. But for some strange reason, Hermione can't stop throwing up?! Oh no!**

**Pansy is determined to change Harry's home, his style and his friends. After all, she is Pansy Parkinson.**

**REVIEW!**


	5. Chapitre 5 Un bébé?

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

* * *

**Chapitre Cinq - Un bébé?**

oOo

**Day After the Wedding**

_Harry's and (Hermione's *crossed out*) bungalow, Bangor_

It began with a smart short rap.

_Knock_.

Then they rapped the door a bit harder.

_Knock Knock._

After one painfully long minute, the person did not give up, though it was evident how annoyed they were from the insistent rapping.

_KNOCK KNOCK!_

Harry groaned and rolled onto his side, his heavy head buried into his soft pillow, his fingers stretched automatically beside him, yearning for the warmth and scent of a familiar body but his fingers clutched air. He dropped his hand defeated and his fingers sought out the tangles of the cold sheets instead.

_It wasn't a dream_, he thought sadly, _Hermione._

'POTTER!' yelled Pansy impatiently, resorting to thumping the door with her fists. 'Rise and shine, Boy Wonder, I know you're home!'

He scowled and pulled the covers over his head, in his cave of darkness and limited sound, the pounding suddenly stopped.

_Thank Merlin._

He waited silently for a good pause, breathing in and out slowly and he strained his ears for the tell-tale signs of her presence- no clicking of heels, no more knocks and certainly the atmosphere seemed devoid of her screeching.

Harry slowly got out of bed, extending his arms above his head until his joints cracked in a satisfying manner. Yawning loudly, he made his way towards the window to draw open the curtains, picking up the different pieces of his last night's attire that had littered on his bedroom floor as he shuffled along. Something blue lodged under the bed caught his eye, he dumped his clothes into a small random pile on his bed before stooping down to pull it out. It was Hermione's baby blue camisole. Harry lifted it to his face and inhaled in her flowery scent; it was the smell of her favourite shower gel.

He sighed deeply as he dragged his feet towards the window. _The first day without her_, Harry thought wryly as he yanked the stiff curtains across, _Only another three hundred and sixty four days to go!_

Now, he deeply regretted_ not _answering the door, for Pansy _Potter_ was standing outside his window with her arms folded crossly against her chest and her blazing glare was scorching.

Harry let out a blood curdling scream.

'Cut it out, Potter!' she snapped, her voice slightly muffled through the glass.

He obeyed immediately (for his own sake more than for her's), blinking stupidly at her as he regained his composure. He wondered for a brief second how she managed to hover in mid-air outside his window but then he noticed the steel ladder she had managed to transfigure. Harry opened his mouth slightly in surprise as he stared at those killer lime-green heels she wore at the ends of those long tanned legs, _how did she climb up?_ Pansy tapped irritably on the window.

'Aren't you going to let me in? I thought you had better manners than to leave your _wife_ outside.'

Harry sighed and leaned forwards to pull up the window. He caught her dark eyes straying to his bare chest when he pulled up the pane past his shoulders, he hadn't realised they were _this_ close. She smirked when he suddenly felt uncomfortable in his half-dressed state, blushing furiously and he covered his naked torso with Hermione's camisole.

'Interesting choice of nightwear, Potter.' she commented with a genuine smile as she climbed through, her smile grew even somewhat evilly when his cheeks blazed even more pink.

'It's not mine! It's Her-' flushed Harry, flinging the garment onto the bed.

'I don't care what you wear _inside_ the house.' she said wickedly. 'If you're into that sort of stuff, it's okay, I won't tell.'

He looked at her defeatedly as she examined her surroundings before returning his look with a critical stare.

'Just as I expected.' she said decidedly, he didn't know if she was talking about the room or him. 'Well that's one less thing to do.'

'What?'

'Good thing you work out so much.' she complimented, eyeing his body again. 'You look good.'

'Oh.' mumbled Harry, averting his green eyes then he darefully met her gaze with a cool levelled look, 'Are you making a pass at me?'

Pansy gave a short laugh.

'I work with male models almost every day. I tell it like I see it, I wasn't flirting with you. Though you should take it as a compliment.'

'Er...sure.'

She cocked her head to one side again, he noticed she did that every time she was observing or examining something. He watched her eyes sweep over his tall form again before speaking finally, 'We need to sort out your wardrobe, your clothes are so _unflattering_.'

'I'm not one of your male models. I like my clothes.' he said defensively but she ignored him, her fingers stopped at the handles of the pine wardrobe and her eyes sought for his permission.

Harry sighed and nodded, she flicked her wand in the air before pulling open the doors eagerly.

'Oh by the way,' she said casually over her shoulder as she inspected the interior critically, 'I've just adjusted your wards.'

'Why!' he demanded.

'To let my house eleves in with my things for one. Also two, so my parents can come visit whenever they want,' her tone was matter-of-fact then she looked at him, 'Is this _all_ the clothes you own?'

'I'm not having your-' he objected.

'Well?' she cut him off smoothly.

'That dresser on the left is mine, Hermione's right.' he sighed. 'More trousers in the second drawer and more shirts in the fourth.'

'Thank you.' she said politely, pulling out the drawers he indicated.

'This isn't over yet.' he threatened.

Pansy calmly ignored him again, her wand flicking through the air quickly as most of his clothes (that did not reach her standards) folded themselves into a neat stack on the bed. Harry sat on the blue love seat as he watched her inspection wearily. She would mumble under her breath, shake her head in disgust and sometimes, very rarely, she would nod in approval when she found an item that _just_ about satisfied her tastes. Her hands were about to rummage through the drawer containing his underpants when he hotly and noisily sounded his objection.

'Fine.' she shrugged, moving onto his outdated ties.

'Why are you doing this?' he asked finally.

'In case you haven't realised yet, your wife is a top celebrity fashion designer.'

'So?'

'_So?_' she slammed the wooden drawer shut and spun round to face him. 'It means I have a _reputation_ to maintain, I can't have my husband dressed like a troll!'

'So what if I do? Like I said before, I _like_ what I wear!' he argued back.

Harry folded his arms across his chest, he glowered at her as she stepped towards him, he noticed she tried to intimidate him by towering over him as he sat on the sofa. His emerald eyes burned just as dangerously as hers and he lifted his chin up, defiantly.

'You can ruin what _could_ have been the best day of my life, you can ruin my wedding night _**but **_you will _not_ ruin my career, Potter!' Pansy's voice rose several octaves.

'It's not like I did it deliberately.' muttered Harry, lowering his gaze.

'Good.' said Pansy in a business-like manner. 'Now that this has all been cleared up, where can I put Hermione's clothes so I have room for mine?'

'What?' he yelped.

'Her...mi...one's cl...othe...s.' she said agonisingly slow as if he was retarded. 'Attic or bin or should we owl them to her? The latter sounds good, the girl will need her clothes!'

'They're not going anywhere!' spluttered Harry angrily. 'You seriously aren't planning to move in are you?'

'Planning is over, Boy Wonder.' she said irritably. 'My house elves are moving in my things as we speak.'

'No!' said Harry angrily, standing up immediately, repeating. 'No!'

'No what?' she said distractedly, removing the clothes from the drawers.

Harry grabbed them off the bed and shoved Hermione's work clothes back into the drawer.

'Why are you moving in?' He stuffed Hermione's clothes into the drawer.

'Don't you remember?' She yanked them back out just as quickly.

'Remind me.' he said sarcastically, resorting to pulling out the entire drawer from the dresser and placing it on the floor behind him so it was out of her reach.

'The _minister_,' she said vehemously, 'said we have to stay together in the _same_ house for this one year!'

'Oh fuck, I forgot that.' swore Harry.

'Well good for you.' said Pansy, walking past him to retrieve the drawer. 'Now let me take that drawer, we're going to be here all day if you don't let me unpack!'

'Stop it!' shouted Harry, he whipped out his wand from under his pillow and pointed it at the drawer on the ground, ('_Accio!_') he caught it with both hands and placed it on the bed. 'I'll buy you a new wardrobe and dresser, just don't touch Hermione's things.'

'What a great idea!' she said sarcastically, clapping her hands together in over-done joy and delight, then she frowned in thought. 'If you didn't live in such a small bungalow! This room is too small for another wardrobe set!'

'Fine, I'll deal with Hermione's clothes, you can...' he snapped. 'You can get your suitcases up here!'

'Me?' she asked angrily. 'My, aren't you the perfect gentleman?'

'Fine, stay here, I'll get them, don't touch any more things in this room.' he warned then he looked down on himself. 'First I need to get dressed-'

'It's fine, the house elves will bring my things up.' she said, waving her hand in the air absently. 'Though you _should_ get dressed.'

'Like I need your permission.' he retorted furiously, his face red and he instinctively went to his wardrobe, the shock quickly turned to mild frustration when he noticed his clothes wern't there anymore.

'You have a memory like a sieve. You forgot I _just_ cleaned out your wardrobe.' accused Pansy snidely.

'Where are my clothes?' seethed Harry through clenched teeth and fists.

'I took care of them, you don't need to worry, Boy Wonder.' she answered loftily, then pointed to the top drawer of his dresser. 'There's a few clothes in there. They're barely presentable but they'll do for now.'

'Why do you always call me that? _Boy Wonder_.' he asked, pulling out a black shirt and some dark jeans. 'It's like you worship me or something.'

'So I do.' agreed Pansy amusedly. 'I didn't realise. Oh well, it'll be good in public, you know for the media. One happy couple with nicknames for each other. Perfect.'

Harry grunted in response, he glared pointedly at her when she didn't leave though she did turn around so he could dress himself.

'So...' said Harry buttoning up his shirt. 'What nickname shall I call you?'

'Whatever you called Hermione, maybe?' suggested Pansy.

'I called her 'Mione.' Harry's green eyes narrowed. 'I could call you 'Ansy'.'

'Do me a favour, please don't.' she said with a pained look. 'Are you done yet?'

'Yes.'

Pansy turned round and nodded in approval like she did always whenever she was at a photoshoot.

'I could just call you-' said Harry, breaking off her stare.

'Parkinson? We're married now, Boy Wonder. You can't call me that anymore.'

'Well I don't know then.'

'Just leave it, the name will come soon.'

'Alright.' he agreed. 'Tell me this, why have you decided to move in? Isn't this place too small for your tastes?'

'Good question.' she said in surprise. 'Let me see...well I thought about it. I didn't want to chance anything that could hinder the chances of the divorce going through. That meant obeying all the rules- we have to live together. I figured that you probably would take a lot of persuading - and I discovered I was right _this_ morning - to move into my house. The appartment that Draco and I lived in is under Draco's name; I bought him it to celebrate the successful opening of his hundredth franchise of _D.M Quidditch_. He could have given it to me but to be honest,' she admitted, 'I didn't want your things there-'

'So you decided it would be better to change _mine_?' interrupted Harry.

Pansy ignored him and continued, 'Narcissa told me yesterday at the Hospital that she and Lucius had bought Draco and I a mansion near Malfoy Manor as a wedding gift but I'm no longer the Malfoy bride so...'

'So you couldn't stay there, Hermione would have that right instead.' finished Harry.

'Yes.' she nodded. 'Also, my parents decided after my wedding they were going to move to Italy, so the Parkinson Manor is now relocated to there.'

'Can't you move there?'

'I can but it's too inconvenient there. All my businesses are here in Britain.'

Harry mimicked her and nodded, it seemed best that she moved here, his cogs in his brain turned slowly as he thought about the life they now _shared_ for the next year.

'So...' trailed off Harry.

'So what?' she asked, fixing her hair in Hermione's vanity mirror.

'What do we do now?' he asked, trying not to look at her reflection but her dark eyes stared steadily at him.

'Not a lot.' she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. 'First, I have to see the rest of the house, you know to adjust some of it to my tastes. It seems like there's going to be _a lot_ of changes, I peeked through your windows, the living room is _awful_. Did you inherit those curtains from your great-great-great grandmother? Secondly, we have to go shopping for some new clothes for you. I've foresaw your wardrobe nightmare so I arranged yesterday a PortKey to New York. Thirdly, I need to meet your friends and colleagues, and you should meet mine. All of my friends and contacts knew I was getting married, it's very rude if I don't introduce you. From the way you treated me, you're seriously lacking in the manners department,' she paused shaking her head at him as if he was her difficult untamed dog. 'But I plan to use this afternoon to sort that out. Then tomorrow morning, we are going to a muggle furnishing store to re-dress this house from the roof to the floor!'

Harry gaped at her when she finally stopped speaking.

Pansy tapped her chin with her well manicured nail and smiled at him.

'Yes, that's about it I think. My, that _is_ a lot.'

oOo

_Draco's and Hermione's new Manor, London_

'I seriously can't believe my parents bought me a mansion.' said Draco in disgust. 'Now, I have to live with _you_. _Alone_.'

'New house or not, we still have to live together you know.' reminded Hermione, drawing her light jacket around her more tightly; shivering.

The uneasiness in the pit of Hermione's stomach grew more and more violently as they approached the cream building complete with a outer veranda and lush green and beautifully trimmed gardens. A generously sized balcony jutted out over the high arch of the main doorway and a small but very impressive fountain centred the front lawn.

A masterpiece.

It was quite a sunny day but Hermione couldn't help feeling cold.

'It's not just a _house_. It's a mansion. Sheesh Granger.' said Draco arrogantly, he strode ahead of her to the intricate arch, he didn't turn round but he called out loudly. 'Don't you know anything?'

'It's rather nice here.' spoke Hermione ignoring him.

'Nice?' he repeated incredulously whipping round to face her. 'It's bloody magnificent. Only the best for the Malfoys!'

She ignored him once again and rudely pushed past him, her hand found the brass door handle: a circular thing with a silver serpent wound around it. Her husband suddenly stood beside her, his hand on her arm.

'Hello?' he said, his grey eyes narrowed. 'I'm the Master here, _I _should be opening the door to our new house.'

'Right.' she said, rolling her eyes. 'Sorry, Malfoy, but I'm _not_ into S&M.'

His eyes narrowed even more, 'Let...go...of...the...handle.'

'No.' she retorted and her hand twisted the door, it clicked and she leaned forwards to push it open.

'Granger!' shouted Draco but she already shoved it open and she stepped over the threshold quickly.

'Yes, husband dear?' she asked innocently, a wicked glint in her auburn eyes.

'Never mind.' he grumbled. 'You broke tradition.'

'There's always a first for everything.' she replied and she turned around slowly, taking in the interior of her new home for the next year. The layout was very similar to the Malfoy Manor but it was more updated and more modern. The grand old staircase in the other Manor was replaced with a silver and glass winding staircase in this one. Also, Hermione spotted Narcissa's handwork throughout the hallway; some paintings that were fairly familiar and there were ornaments that spelled out 'expensive'.

'Welcome to Malfoy Manor Number Two.' muttered Hermione, taking off her jacket.

'What was that?' asked Draco absently, picking up a china vase and examining it.

'Nothing.' she said shortly. She looked pale, he noticed and there were uncharacteristic dark shadows under her usually sparkling eyes. 'Where's the bathroom do you know?'

'How would I know?' said Draco, raising a pale eyebrow. 'This is the first time, I've been here.'

'This isn't the time to joke, Malfoy, I'm about to throw up.' scowled Hermione weakly, clutching her chest as if trying to hold the bile down. 'If you don't want me to throw up all over-'

'Rocky!' yelled Draco, snapping his fingers in the air. A house elf wearing a deep green towel appeared dutifully with a sharp _crack_. He pointed at Hermione who looked a much paler shade of the creature's only garment. 'Take Granger to the bathroom. _Now_.'

'Miss Granger?' repeated the small house elf confused.

'_Mrs _Malfoy.' he sighed.

'Very well, please follow Rocky, Mistress.' said the creature, his tiny hand stretched above him, he pointed upstairs.

*

'Master, where shall we put Missus' belongings?' inquired another house-elf.

Draco ran his hand along the wooden doorframe of the double doors leading to the balcony they saw outside. He was in the _their_ bedroom; the master suite.

'On the bed.' commanded Draco, he pulled his eyes from the beautiful scene in front of him and turned round warily to the house elf. 'Do you know if she's out of the bathroom yet?'

'No sir, Missus must have ate something bad, she's still there...for about fifteen minutes already.' squeaked the house elf. 'Do you need Trillby to send for a Healer?'

'Not for now. You are dismissed, Trillby.' nodded Draco. He moved towards the bed where the house elf left Hermione's things. Her large red bag was unzipped at the top, the corner of a magazine peeked out of the leather lining. Barely visible on it was bright yellow letters that screamed 'BABY'.

'Baby?' he wondered aloud, he checked behind him furtively for her presence but the loud retching noise gave him the signal to go ahead. He dipped his hand into her handbag and unfurled a thick glossy copy of '_LOVE YOUR BABY_'. He began to feel sick himself as he flicked through the pages of maternity wear, FAQs, pictures of sickly cute babies(according to Draco) and when it started to reveal more photos of smiling naked mums holding their newborns, he threw the magazine onto the wooden flooring.

'Fuck.' he swore as a billion thoughts swirled into his head, he gripped the chair beside the bed. _Being sick, this magazine..._he thought wildly but he breathed in and exhaled it back out slowly. There, he could think more calmly now. _She could have ate something wrong_, decided Draco.

_Or she could be pregnant with Scarhead's baby_, said the voice in his head.

He heard a distant groan and a patter of feet growing more and more closer by the second, he hastily picked up the copy and shoved it back into the red leather bag.

'Malfoy?' a weak whisper came behind him.

'You look terrible.' he commented when he turned round to face her. She was still clutching her stomach, she had scraped her long brown hair into a lopsided ponytail _and_ she still looked rather green.

'Thanks, I feel terrible too.' she muttered, she stumbled forward and collapsed onto the bed.

'Er...' said Draco, unsure of what to say. Should he confront her? He remembered Pansy telling him about a colleague of hers who suffered from terrible mood swings as a result of her pregnancy. Pansy strictly told him that in future, he should at all costs avoid upsetting or annoying mums-to-be. He shook his head absently, he wasn't in the mood for Hermione's mood swings. 'Can I get you anything?'

She laughed harshly, '_You_? Help _me_? No thanks, I don't want you poisoning my water.'

'I can be civilised you know, Granger, I don't _need_ to poison you because you look pretty much in pain right now.' he said cooly but he snapped his fingers. 'Rocky! Get the mistress a glass of water.'

'Thanks.' sighed Hermione and she rubbed her face against the pillow.

'No problem.' he muttered.

The house elf returned with a large glass of water but she seemed to be fast asleep.

'Just leave it there.' Draco instructed, pointing to the wooden beside table.

'Yes, Master.' bowed the house-elf then it looked up with its huge glassy eyes. 'Master, there's a ringing noise in the hallway.'

'A ringing noise?' inquired Draco skeptically.

'Yes sir.'

The blonde man went downstairs to investigate, but before he left the bedroom, he stole one last glance at Hermione, she was still sleeping like the dead.

There was indeed a ringing noise which Draco immediately realised was a mobile- he owned one himself due to Pansy's insistence; he had to admit it was rather useful and more efficient than owl- but he did not recognise it as his own ringtone. It was a basic trill and he soon located it in Hermione's green jacket that she had taken off when they got here.

_Sophie_, it said on the caller ID when he flipped the silver coloured object open.

'Granger!' he yelled up the stairs. 'Your phone's ringing!'

'Answer it for me.' she said, her voice did not sound sleepy, he was wrong, she was probably _pretending _to sleep so he could leave her alone and she could whip out some case to test that he had not indeed poisoned her water.

'Fine.' said Draco to himself and he pressed the answer button. 'Hello?'

_Hello, is Hermione there? Is this Harry?_

'Just a minute.' said Draco, ignoring her second question.

'Who is it?' mumbled Hermione, her hair covering her face, she had taken it out of her of ponytail.

He shrugged, deciding to be difficult and she sighed before snatching the phone off him.

'Hello? Oh hi Sophie, how are you? Me? I'm feeling awful. This thing is _not_ good- can you hold for one second?' Hermione took the mobile off her ear and covered the mouthpiece and glared at Draco. 'Do you mind?'

He sneered back at her and left the room, she motioned to him to close the door as well and he intended to slam it shut but he stopped when her voice dropped to a whisper.

'I can't do it, Soph.' said Hermione, barely audible then she pleaded. 'Please tell them, I can't do it!'

_Can't do what?_ thought Draco, he stomped on the floor so that she would think that he was leaving but he stood very still and strained his ear against the mahoghany door.

'-says on the internet to do some research. I found it out that it's important to take folic acid during the early stages of pregnancy. Yes I know, a baby's so much to handle-'

_Pregnancy? Baby! _Draco was stunned. She was pregnant!

He heard the bed creak as Hermione sat up on the bed.

'I'm so miserable right now in my life right now. I'm scared it's too much to handle, I would have told you yesterday, it's a shame you couldn't make it to the wedding but-' said Hermione sadly.

Her voice dropped to such a low whisper, Draco couldn't make out her mumbles and was shocked when she let out a heart-breaking sob.

'Now I'm stuck with him, I wished I realised it wasn't him- I'm so stupid!'

Hermione stopped talking, he could hear her taking deep breaths and she make small noises of agreement.

'Mm.'

He could hear the buzz of Sophie speaking, it wasn't clear but whatever she said was making Hermione sound sad. Draco's jaw dropped when Hermione declared loudly,

'Well it isn't Harry's.'

oOo

* * *

**A/N Ooooh CliffHanger :)**

**I hate to do this but sometimes a girl's gotta do stuff she doesn't like to get her own way! **

**Want the next chapter? Only if the number of reviews goes up to 65!**

**Sorrweee...but give me some M-O-T-I-V-A-T-I-O-N!**

**P.s I swear no one's reading _The Winged Omen_**

**_*_**

**_Next Chapter_**

**_Pansy's To-Do-List with Mr Harry Potter._**

**_Draco is in turmoil, he doesn't want to raise SOMEONE ELSE'S baby!! Also Harry is determined to kill Draco when he learns that Hermione is pregnant. It's obviously not his, so who's is it? It better not be the ferrets!!_**

**_(Expect a long chapter)_**

**_CYA_**

**_x_**


	6. Chapitre 6 Pansy change la maison!

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

* * *

**Chapitre Six - Pansy change la maison! **

oOo

_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

When Hermione finally ended the call, she thought she heard a dull _thump_ against the door. Placing her mobile on the mahogany bedside table, she slid off the bed uneasily, scraping her hair to one side with one hand as she reached for the door handle with her other. Twisting it, the door swung open very easily for Draco had been slumped wordlessly against it. Now he was lying on his back; half his body in the bedroom and the other half lounged in the hallway. Hermione peered down at her feet curiously. Draco had his hands clasped together on his shirt-covered chest, his knuckles turning a brilliant white and his mouth twisted into a pained grim smile.

_He looks..._thought Hermione as she crouched down beside his torso, _like he's sleeping._

'Malfoy...?' she said loudly but when he didn't respond she poked his arm tentatively; his skin was strangely clammy. Then she whispered, trying again. 'Draco...?'

His pale eyelids snapped open on cue and he looked up into her worried auburn eyes.

'Are you-' she began to ask, sounding somewhat relieved.

'Are you hungry?' he burst out hoarsely. He sat up so quickly she nearly fell back but his hand caught her wrist in a blur. When she was steady on her haunches, he let go of her arm. 'Let's go out for a bite, I haven't had anything since breakfast.' he said.

'Um...' Hermione knelt down beside him, feeling very uncomfortable under his intense stare. She cleared her throat and sighed apologetically, 'Food is a really bad idea now, I can't eat without throwing it back up.'

'You can watch me eat.' he reasoned, he flashed her a strange look before standing up on his feet. Hermione was speechless, Draco extended his hand towards her and helped her up carefully; his movements gentle and slow like she was extremely fragile.

'Watch you eat?' she repeated skeptically, wrapping her arms around herself absently.

'Keep me company.' he offered, his eyes swept over her messy hair and crumpled shirt. 'Meet me in the foyer in ten.'

Hermione scowled when he imperiously turned around and left the bedroom but nevertheless she ran her brush through her hair, smoothing it back into a low bun at the nape of her neck and she changed her severely lined shirt into a rose coloured blouse. She was slipping her arms through her light beige jacket when she found him waiting - like he said- at the bottom of the stairs.

'You changed.' he said, his lips trying to hold back a satisfied smile- she _listened_ to him.

'You didn't.' she noted, ignoring his comment.

'I'm going to. Hold my arm, Granger, we're going to apparate.'

Hermione opened her mouth to object but he stepped forward and gripped her arm firmly but gently. As soon as his long fingers clasped in a perfect circle around her forearm, she felt the familiar tug at her naval, her weasy stomach grumbled loudly in protest and she doubled over, gasping uncontrollably when they reached their destination. They were standing outside in a vast street, the ground that lay between the two neat rows of shops was covered in white cobbles, and the bright sun cheerfully skimmed its beams over the red and white slates on the roofs.

'Granger.' Draco sighed, returning dirty looks to those who were staring openly at them. 'Haven't you _ever_ apparated before?'

'You could have given me time to prepare myself. You could have splinched me!' she accused breathlessly.

'Stop being so dramatic.' he told her unsympathetically.

'Malfoy, I'm being-'

'How much longer do you think you need to squat like like?' he asked her.

'I am not _squatting_!' she said indignantly, quickly straightening herself up.

Draco ignored her; it was all they ever seemed to do. And insult each other of course. Hermione ungratefully barged past him when he opened the shop door for her out of public courtesy and she returned his favour by deliberately stepping hard on his left foot.

'You fucking b-' groaned Draco, shutting his eyes tightly in agony.

'Good morning, Mr Malfoy.' said a cross looking woman with smooth black hair and a fancy brooch pinned to the lapel of her dress suit. Her appearance was strangely McGonagall and Trelawney with a hint of Umbridge all mixed together in a saucepan. She narrowed her eyes in a very McGonagall manner which made Hermione very stunned and impressed; feeling the profound respect that she had -and still had- for her former teacher/headmistress. 'Were you going to say 'bitch'?' she asked, her voice edged faintly with cold ice.

He glanced at Hermione with hard cold eyes who returned his look somberly, a small smile painted on her lips; Draco cleared his throat and looked at the shopkeeper gravely. 'Of course not, Mrs Pritchett, I was going to tell you that you looked beautiful today. Absolutely exquisite looking. As always, of course.'

'Quite the charmer, young man.' said Mrs Pritchett, clearly not impressed. 'I don't tolerate bad language in my store, Mr Malfoy.'

'Indeed, neither do you tolerate lateness. I apologise for mine immediately. You know I'm usually very prudent with my time management. I tried to tell my _wife_ this morning that we would be late for your appointment but she took great interest, after apparating here, in counting how many stones they were in the street. Please forgive her, she's strange like that, aren't you _dear_?'

The emphasis he put on the last word he spoke threatened Hermione to be on her best behaviour. _So..._she mused, _he wants to play the 'happy-couple' game and 'ten-points-for-insulting-your-wife-by-telling-strangers-stupid-lies' game, I can do that._

'Mrs Pritchett,' began Hermione and casted Draco an affectionate smile, making sure the lady saw it. Draco was baffled and he narrowed his eyes, his grey eyes tight and threatening. 'Please forgive my _husband's_ poor attempt at humour. You see, what _really _happened was, this morning, Draco ran out of his favourite strawberry shower gel. He refused to leave the house without smelling like it. I tried to offer him my kiwi one but he so stubbornly refused! It's all really a bit silly but it's quite a sweet trait in him.' She looked at him again and smiled at him like he was a child.

'Dear, dear, some men do get partial to some things.' agreed Mrs Pritchett with an understanding nod to the slowly purple faced Draco. 'Speaking of partial things, erm...I hope you don't mind me saying this in front of your new wife, Mr Malfoy but...Miss Parkinson...?'

'Things didn't quite work out.' answered Draco smoothly, looking at Hermione. 'Otherwise I wouldn't be married to this-' he paused and she waited patiently for him to continue, '-annoying woman.' The shopkeeper looked slightly startled but Draco laughed fakely and the lady relaxed a bit.

'And you, are the obnoxious light of my life.' returned Hermione sarcastically but she did not laugh.

An intense staring contest passed between them which the shopkeeper interpreted as a look of love.

'What a charming couple!' she sighed, she smiled at Draco. 'I got some new pieces today from Italy today.'

'I'll take a look at them.' he agreed, not looking at her while he said it, he continued to fixed his eyes on his wife.

'I think she believed me.' Hermione said as soon as the woman disappeared inside her storeroom.

'What?' he said absently, he ended their staring match and turned to the tie rack on the counter; running his finger across the silky edges.

'She bought my strawberry shower gel story.'

Draco snorted rudely, 'Unlikely!'

'Well,' she snapped back, 'it was more believable than _your _crappy story. Like she was going to believe that I was some psycho who enjoyed counting bits of rock!'

'Did someone say 'crappy'?' called Mrs Pritchett from her store.

'No!' Draco and Hermione said hotly in unison.

'I'm going to agree with you on that one,' hissed Draco through clenched teeth, 'you _are_ a psycho.'

'Speak for yourself, Malfoy. I found a half-full bottle of strawberry shower gel in your laptop bag!'

'What?' demanded Draco, she noted that his ears suddenly turned bright pink under tufts of his pale blonde hair. 'You looked through _my_ things?'

'I didn't mean to.' she confessed almost apologetically. 'I thought it was my own laptop bag.'

'Sure.' he sneered. 'Like you can afford the brand I have.'

'In fact, I can! That's beside the point! So! What was the shower gel doing in your bag? Don't lie, Malfoy, you're blushing like a shy schoolgirl after her first kiss.'

'I am not _fucking-'_

'Did someone just say a naughty word?' the shopkeeper's voice rang out again.

'NO!' yelled Draco.

'Quit yelling, Malfoy.' ordered Hermione quietly. 'We'll get kicked out.' Then she raised her voice. 'Sorry, Mrs Pritchett, he didn't mean to shout there. He just saw a spider, that's all.'

'What?' demanded Draco quietly, his face a wonderful shade of deep purple red. 'What did you just-?'

'Oh, that's fine dear. I was a bit startled there.' answered back the shopkeeper.

'You are playing dangerously, Granger.' growled Draco lowly. 'We're going to talk about this when we get home.'

'What are you going to do?' asked Hermione venomously. 'Lock me in one of your Death Eater dungeons? Plea-'

Then all of a sudden before she could roll her eyes theatrically, she squirmed uncomfortably and clutched her stomach. Gasping loudly, her eyes leaked hot tears and Hermione moaned.

'Granger?' asked Draco, as she collapsed to the carpeted floor. 'What's wrong, Granger!' he demanded.

'I'm in so much pain, Malfoy! _That's_ what's wrong, you idiot!' she groaned, trying to heave herself onto the nearby sofa.

_The baby!_ thought Draco, he cursed his stupidity. He mentally kicked himself for forgetting to _not_ aggravate her.

'Mr Malfoy? Is your wife okay?'

Mrs Pritchett stumbled forward, flinging aside the packages bundled in her arms but Draco stopped her and helped Hermione onto her feet himself.

'She's fine.' assured Draco but Hermione moaned again, her face covered in sticky sweat. 'She's just a bit tired, we moved into our new house very early today.'

'I see.' said the lady, a bit reassured but overall still very worried.

'I am _not-' _said Hermione indignantly but Draco's hand crushed her head into his chest, her words were muffled. The lady seemed very startled by Draco's sudden intimate gesture.

'Come on, dear. I'll support you for now. Sorry, Mrs Pritchett, she's going to fall asleep any second. Can I come back tomorrow?' Draco urged quickly while Hermione flailed against his shirt.

'Of course dear...make sure she gets enough rest.'

'Thank you. Come along, Hermione.' said Draco relieved, he hurried them out of the shop and when the shop door was safely shut, he let her head go.

'Can't-breathe!' gasped Hermione, inhaling and exhaling deep breaths.

'Are you okay?' asked Draco worriedly, rubbing her arm.

'No!' she gasped, punching his arm away. 'You-complete-ass-hole!'

'Do you need to go to the Hospital?' he asked, reaching for her arm again.

Hermione stared at him in amazement, he didn't even fight back, now he picked up her hand and was massaging her open palm in soothing circles.

'You need to calm down.' said Draco, he swallowed hard like he was the one in pain. 'Please.'

'I want something to drink, I've been throwing up so much the past few days, I'm so dehydrated.'

'Alright.' he agreed. 'Are you up to apparating?'

She was completely speechless, his sudden change of character shocked her to the very core, and his grey eyes bore into hers steadily.

'Granger? When you're ready.' he said.

'I'm ready.'

oOo

_Some Cafe in Diagon Alley, London_

'I want an espresso and some water for her.' said Draco setting down the menu card.

'Water?' repeated Hermione, she shook her head and she frowned. 'No, I want something stronger, my senses are a little frazzled right now.'

'You are not drinking alcohol!' he said, he looked at their waitress and smiled handsomely. 'That's all, thank you.'

'I need something to calm down.' she wailed.

'You said you were dehydrated, wine's not going to help you.' he said firmly then he paused. 'I never thought you would be a person who relied on alcohol to calm the nerves.'

'I don't, but I heard it works. Right now, I need some because I'm in pain _and_ I'm sitting here with _you_.' she demanded.

'Alright, I know my good looks have a strange effect on people's nerves. Particularly the ladies; they usually go wild, maybe you should let go-' he said with no humility at all as if he really believed that he was the world's most beautiful man, he stopped when Hermione was glaring at him. 'Okay...I used to massage Pansy when she was stressed. I'll do it for you.'

'Does your massaging involve having clothes on?' asked Hermione suspiciously.

'_Yes_, you prude.' said Draco as he sat beside her in their booth. 'Turn around.'

Hermione twisted her body around obediently; she felt his large hands on her shoulders and his thumbs digging gently into her muscles.

'Good?' he asked.

'Yes.' she sighed, feeling her body relax. 'Maybe you're not _entirely_ bad.'

'Oh but when I'm bad, I'm even better.' he grinned.

'Malfoy, shut up, you're ruining the mood.'

'Stop imagining me naked, I don't want you to orgasm on this seat. I'm merely doing this to stop you going all psycho on me!'

'Malfoy!' Hermione hissed, her eyes snapped open. 'There _are_ people here!'

'Ho oh! You _didn't_ deny it!'

'Fuck off!' she swore.

'Did someone say 'fuck off'?' squeaked Draco in a deeper version but nonetheless accurate imitation of Mrs Pritchett.

Hermione laughed loudly causing a few stares and she averted her eyes to her lap, embarrassed. 'She's like Professor McGonagall, you know.'

'Of course, she's the old bat's younger sister.' shrugged Draco; his fingers were now tapping against the relaxed muscles on her back.

'Really?' she gasped in disbelief.

'_Yes_.' affirmed Draco obviously. He watched the waitress set their drinks down on the table and he let his hands slip off her shoulders. 'You're laughing now so that means you've calmed down. I have to go make a call. Order something if you're hungry.'

'Please don't mention food, I think I'm going to throw up!'

'Don't think then.' he advised.

oOo

_Harry's and __**Pansy's**__ bungalow, Bangor_

_Living Room_

'Potter! Get your butt down here right now! I'm going to change some things in this house whether you like it or not!' called Pansy loudly, her eyes scrutinising every inch of her new living room. 'You forget that this place is going to be _my_ home too for the next year!'

'Can I help you, your Majesty?' asked Harry, his voice dripping heavily with sarcasm, he appeared in the doorway and his face was like thunder until his green eyes roamed the room; they widened in shock and fury. 'What the hell did you do to my living room?!'

'As a matter of fact you can, Potter.' smiled Pansy sweetly, ignoring his second question. She looked calmly at her fuming new husband of one day. 'Would you be a dear and move that sofa to over there?'

'Couldn't you do it yourself?' scowled Harry, he pointed to the wand poking out of her jean's pocket. 'Use magic?'

'I _could_ do it myself but from where I'm standing I get the best perspective of this living room and I don't like to use magic when decorating a house, it ruins the homey feeling.' answered Pansy simply.

'Home wrecker.' grumbled Harry unhappily as he heaved the sofa easily to where she indicated.

'I heard that, Boy Wonder.' she said, she cocked her head to one side and examined the new position of the furniture. 'Hey, where do you think you're going?'

Harry stopped at the doorway and turned round to face her, his emerald eyes giving her a levelled look. 'I'm going to go to the toilet. Do you wanna come too?'

'Gross, Potter.' Pansy frowned. 'Well when you're done, come to the kitchen, I want your opinion.'

'Well I'll tell you in advance, it sucks. The decor you picked is _hideous_; I don't know what possessed you to choose that colour. _Happy_?' said Harry nastily.

But Pansy didn't even seem mildly offended; she shrugged nonchantly, 'Thanks for your opinion but will you look at it anyway? I don't want you to be spitting out your cornflakes everywhere tomorrow morning when you realise how much you hate the towel rack or something.'

*

_Kitchen_

'What the _fuck_ is that?' demanded Harry hotly. 'Is THAT supposed to be a _towel rack_?'

'Ha ha, very funny, Boy Wonder.' said Pansy drily.

'It looks so sick, what are all these bits hanging off it for?' he asked, eyeing the silver piece with a look of disgust.

'It's a modern design, and those _bits _are used to hang up _towels_.' explained Pansy obviously, she waved her hand to the rest of the kitchen. 'So what do you think about the colour?'

'How many hospitals did you raid to get enough to paint the walls?'

'It's called "Rosy Apple".'

'It looks like blood to me. My kitchen is covered in _blood_.'

'_Our _kitchen.' corrected Pansy, lines etched on her forehead as she frowned. He didn't take this too well. 'Besides I think it looks very nice. It compliments the black marble worktops which I didn't change.'

'Thanks for the sentimental factor.' Harry said glumly, rubbing his eyes with weary. 'I think I need a drink. A strong one.'

'Good idea, you don't seem to be taking this very well.' she noted. She absently rearranged the kitchen roll holder.

'Parkinson...what the _hell_ is this?' demanded Harry angrily. He pointed at a tall black metal thing that nearly reached the white ceiling. It had no handle and in the middle of the door was a sunken box with a keypad at the bottom.

'It's a fridge.'

'Why is there a _number pad_ inside the door?'

'Oh, you've never seen one before then, I take it?'

'No, do please explain.' Harry said, breathing in and out as slowly as he could to maintain his anger.

'It stops me snacking.' shrugged Pansy, straightening the placemat. 'Every time you need to open the fridge, you will need to enter a fifteen digit code.'

'_Fifteen digits_?'

'That's what I said, Potter.'

'_Why?_'

'Because I just told you, it stops me snacking.'

'But I can't access my own beer and food!'

'Yes you can, you just need to punch in this code. It's one five-'

'I meant access it _easily_.'

'It's not so bad after you get used to it.'

'I won't get used to it.' Harry said stubbornly.

'Well we're not getting rid of it.'

'Just you watch.' he threatened, and he turned round to storm off.

'Oh, Potter?' Pansy called after him. 'Don't even think about hexing it. Voldemort may have died by your wand but this fridge most certainly won't. It's magic-proof!'

*

_Bathroom_

Pansy bumped into Harry's back when he suddenly stopped in his tracks after opening the bathroom door. They were 'touring' around the house.

'Oof. Why did you stop?'

'Oh...good...lord.' he whispered.

Pansy wormed her way under his arm and stood in the middle of the half-finished bathroom, a dozen or so house elves busily scurrying around holding hammers and other building tools.

'You like it?' asked Pansy brightly. Her dark eyes shining with hope.

'It's-' he began.

'Wonderful? Tasteful? Heaven-ish?'

'Um...those weren't the words I was looking for.'

'What?' she asked blankly.

'Try putting "not" in front of each adjective.' Harry advised.

'Mrs Potter!' squeaked a house elf. 'The gold bathtub has just arrived! Do you want us to bring it up now?'

'Of course, Helmer.'

'You bought a _gold _bathtub?' choked Harry.

'Yes.' Pansy replied.

'_Why?_'

'My, Potter, you seem to be very fond of that word this morning.' she noted.

'Gold coloured you mean?' he asked quickly.

'No, don't be silly, I don't do imitations. It's solid gold.'

'I think I'm going to be sick.'

'Toilet's over there.'

'The bathroom wasn't like this half an hour ago!'

'Quit your moaning, Boy Wonder, it's not like you're paying.'

'I'm not?' repeated Harry in surprise.

'No.' Pansy shrugged.

'How come?' he persisted, not quite believing his ears. 'I thought you were on a mission to ruin my life.'

'Well, there's only so much you can force someone to do. I would hate it if someone totally redecorated my house but you've got to understand, Potter, I want to live comfortably here. After one year has gone and if the divorce gets filed through, I swear I'll pay however much it takes to redecorate this house back to normal.'

She turned round and started telling the house elf that was fitting the gold gilded shelf to raise it a bit higher. Harry watched her form with a stunned look and suddenly felt a bit ashamed for his recent behaviour.

'Mrs Potter? You have to sign these papers for the bathtub.'

'No, I'll pay for it.' sighed Harry. Pansy looked at him with a bemused expression as the house elf offered him the papers. Harry signed it neatly and caught her stare.

'What?' he asked.

'Nothing.' she said.

*

_Bedroom_

'I swear, you're going to _love_ the bedroom.' assured Pansy brightly as they walked down the hallway.

'Did you change the dressers? Did you touch Hermione's things?' asked Harry immediately.

'No, Potter, I didn't.' Pansy sighed.

She put her hand on the door handle of the bedroom.

'You ready? It's not finished yet but-'

Harry's phone suddenly buzzed loudly in his pocket. Pansy narrowed her eyes as if she was rudely interrupted during her tour of the house but Harry made no apology and answered it.

'Hello?'

_Potter._

'_Draco Malfoy?_'

Suddenly Pansy perked up as soon as she heard Harry's exclamation.

'It's Draco?' she demanded excitedly.

_Is Pansy there?_

'What do you want, Malfoy?' asked Harry coldly, ignoring Pansy's pleading look to answer the phone. 'If you want to talk to Parkinson, why don't you ring her mobile?'

_Look, Scarhead, this isn't about Pansy. It's about your bookworm._

'What's wrong with her? Look, ferret-' Harry said threateningly.

'_Don't_ call him that!' scolded Pansy, pinching his arm.

'Get off, Parkinson!' snapped Harry annoyed, he pushed past her and opened the door then he tried to close it on her but she wormed her way into the bedroom as well.

'What the hell, Malfoy? Did you hurt her?' demanded Harry; he leant as the bed frame of the four poster bed.

'My turn!' shrieked Pansy, reaching for the phone but Harry put his hand on her face and she struggled in vain; her arms flailing.

_What is going on there?!_

'Harry Potter!' she yelled, muffled.

'Parkinson!' yelped Harry when she licked the palm of the hand on her face.

_Scarhead, I'm not going to ask one more __**fucking**__time, what the __**fuck**__are you two doing?_

Harry flung his hand off her and circled her waist, grabbing her roughly and throwing her onto the bed unceremoniously.

'Potter!' screamed Pansy indignantly, scrambling up but Harry pushed her onto her front again then he proceeded to sit on her. 'Don't you _dare _sit on me!'

_Potter, get the fuck off her! Or I will come and rip your-_

Harry dropped the phone and pinned her arms down easily then he sat on her so suddenly she groaned.

'Don't move.' he warned breathlessly.

'You're big, I'm small, you're crushing me!'

_POTTER!_

Draco's growl was muffled greatly but Harry could still hear him, he snatched up his mobile and tried to hold down the desperately struggling Pansy.

'Hello?' panted Harry. He looked up, seeing the bedroom for the first time since he entered it. The curtains were pink and elaborately lacey.

'Frills!' he screeched. 'You used _frills_?'

_What the fuck are you doing? Are you two having sex at the moment?_

'No.' said Harry quickly, grossed out.

_What did she mean 'You're big'? _Draco was actually stuttering with anger.

'Oh-'

Pansy screamed loudly, trying to get Draco's attention.

'Oh hang on.' Harry told Draco. He reached down and pull a sock off one of Pansy's flailing feet, he fisted it into a small ball and gagged her with it. 'Okay, you can talk now. Where's Hermione?'

_Why is Pansy whimpering? You better not have-_

'Relax, Malfoy, it's nothing serious, I just gagged her.'

_You what?!_

Harry ignored him. 'Where's Hermione, Malfoy? Stop yelling, your little Pansy is fine.'

_This isn't over, Scarhead. I'm at the new cafe on your right as soon as you come out of Leaky Cauldron, I can't remember the name of it...anyways, come immediately. I've been tiptoe-ing around your bookworm all morning, I think she's pregnant._

'Pregnant?' Harry gasped.

_Yes._

'But that's impossible! We use protection charms-'

_Don't get your knickers in a twist, Potter. _Suddenly Draco's voice was laced with malice_. It's not yours._

'I'm going to fucking kill you, Malfoy! You better relish your last few seconds on earth because when I'm there, you're going to die!' snarled Harry, he flung his phone across the room and stood up, grabbing his coat and thrusting his arms into it furiously.

Pansy pulled her sock out of her mouth and swallowed a few times to moisten her dry mouth.

'Who's pregnant?' she demanded.

'Your little _Draco_ has gotten Hermione pregnant!' hissed Harry.

He did not count on her reaction, her dark eyes suddenly welled up with huge tears, her rosy lips began to tremble and her heart was in her eyes.

'I'm sorry.' apologised Harry gruffly, he didn't even know what he was sorry for.

'Where you going?' she asked quietly.

'To meet him.' said Harry darkly, Draco's sneering face suddenly came into his mind.

'I'm coming too.' she said, her face now shining with determination.

Pansy was about to get up but Harry had already spun on the spot and had disappeared before her eyes.

oOo

_At the cafe at Diagon Alley, London_

Hermione grimaced as she swallowed the last of her water, it didn't make her stomach feel any better. She looked up to order another glass and when her eyes focussed on a familiar face, she had to blink several times to make sure the approaching figure was the man she loved.

_It's Harry!_ she thought excitedly.

'Oh Hermione, are you okay?' Harry's voice was thick with emotion as he embraced her tightly in his arms then he look her go and the worried look in his green eyes was now replaced with smouldering fury. 'Where is the bastard?'

'He was in the toilet, he was there for- oh, he's coming now.' Hermione pointed over his shoulder.

Draco walked towards them, his face grim but somehow relieved in a way. He looked at Hermione briefly but before he could look at the tall man beside her, his gaze was suddenly cut off with a punch to the face.

He staggered back, lights popping before his eyes as he cradled his bleeding nose in agony; it felt tender to touch, it must have been broken. The women sitting nearby screamed as Draco steadied himself on their table, thick red liquid dripping from his face onto the chequered table cloth. He heard Hermione scream and a new pain was born in his lower abdomen as a rock-hard fist slammed into his belly.

'You!' hissed Harry, delivering another blow to his stomach. He was seething. 'You don't do _that_ and fucking get away with it!'

Tears were actually dripping down the blonde man's face as he bent over in agony from the rain of blows he received to the stomach, he pushed off the table he was leaning against, ignoring the excruciating pain as he moved and he shoved himself onto Harry. The dark haired man lost as balance as Draco fell heavily on him. Draco used every ounce of his energy to pin Harry down as he straddled the man's waist, Harry's black shirt soaked in his blood and Draco's belly began to ache with the new bruises formed. He clenched his teeth to stop screaming out with the almost unbearable pain.

'Stop it! STOP IT!' sobbed Hermione, dancing around on her feet in desperation. 'Stop it, you two!'

The men continued to struggle at her feet; neither one giving in. Eventually Harry overpowered Draco and he rolled them onto Draco's back, Harry lifted a glass from the nearby table and held it up, ready to smash it into the blonde man's bloody face.

'Stop it, Harry!' screamed Hermione, pointing her wand at Harry and he flew off Draco and landed on another table.

Harry sat up groggily and Hermione flew to his side at once.

'Oh Harry, I'm so sorry, are you okay? I was stressed, I didn't know what to do! I didn't mean to fling you off so-'

'It's fine, Hermione, as long as you're okay.' Harry said weakly, reaching out to touch her face.

'Missus?' the pale-faced waitress suddenly appeared beside them; clearly shaken by the fight. 'The Healers are coming soon to take them to St Mungos.'

'I'm fine.' said Harry fiercely.

'Harry, you need a check up.' objected Hermione. 'Besides you need to come with me to the Hospital.'

'Why?'

'For company.' explained Hermione. 'Malfoy just fainted.'

oOo

_St Mungos, London_

'Hermione?'

Harry peered groggily until Hermione's face fully focussed.

'Harry, are you okay? They gave you a Dreamless Draught. You broke your arm but everything else is okay.' Hermione looked worried.

'Hermione!' said Harry impulsively as if he just noticed her presence. He held her hand and winced. 'I'll look after you and the baby. I'm not letting you anywhere near Malfoy from now on. I promise you.'

'Baby?' she repeated. Her other hand froze in his hair.

'She cheated on you.'

Draco coughed loudly and grimaced as his newly bandaged chest ached from his throaty coughs. He was lying in a cot a couple of metres away from Harry's, Hermione had requested it so that she could keep an eye on both of them at the same time. He looked terrible, although the Healers had set his nose back into position and dried off the blood, he was unhealthily pale and dark green circles tinged around his eyes, making them look deeply hollow and haunted.

'No I didn't!' Hermione's eyes flew open in shock and indignation.

'Who's is it, Hermione?' asked Harry groggily.

'What? Did you hit your head? You're not making any sense, Harry!' she asked worriedly, feeling the back of his head for bumps.

'The baby.' he said desperately.

'What baby, Harry?'

'I told him you were,' panted Draco, he took a deep breath and groaned in dull pain. 'Ah...'

'He said you were pregnant, Hermione. He rang me and told me it wasn't mine.' Harry whispered, there was a hint of accusation in his voice.

'And you thought Malfoy was the dad.' Hermione said enraged.

'Well he did gloat on the phone.' Harry said defiantly.

'You got to be kidding if you think I would touch _her_.' coughed Draco.

'Malfoy.' snarled Harry.

'You two-' she declared, suddenly standing up from her seat, Harry groaned when she accidentally knocked his sore arm. '-are idiots. What gave you the idea that I was _pregnant_?'

'You mean you're not?' asked Harry hopefully.

'No, I'm not, Harry.' said Hermione dryly.

'Well,' he said sensing Hermione's accumulating fury. '_Malfoy,_ told me you were.'

'And you naturally thought he was the father.' she said dangerously.

'Well-' Harry tried to explain.

'Harry,' she said slowly, she was very annoyed, 'did it ever occur to you, even if Malfoy and I did...' she trailed off, shuddering, she looked at Harry and said plainly, 'Harry, we've only got married yesterday and I didn't even spend the night with him, don't you think the _pregnancy_ would be a bit premature? I would be a few hours pregnant!'

'Exactly, Potter, maybe if you had any logic and used your thick head to think about it-' grunted Draco.

'Shut it, you.' Hermione snapped at him.

'Malfoy, if _you_ had any logic, you would know if she was pregnant or-'

'Harry, you shut it too.' warned Hermione.

'Sorry 'Mione.'

'Whipped.' spat Draco nastily.

'You!' Hermione said as she spun round to face him, his auburn eyes were dark with anger. 'What made you think I was pregnant?'

'You were throwing up.' Draco said weakly, trying to move his arm. 'I found that baby magazine in your bag.'

'Oh no,' sighed Hermione, 'this is all messed up.'

'What do you mean, Hermione?' asked Harry.

'I'm not the one pregnant,' she looked at Draco, 'you heard me talking on the phone earlier didn't you?'

'Yeah, to Melinda-'

'Sophie.' corrected Hermione meticulously.

'Whatever. Yes, I heard you talking about it all and it _seemed_ pretty obvious.'

Hermione sighed again and sat down comfortably before she began to explain.

*

_Flashback to Earlier_

_'Who is it?' mumbled Hermione, her hair covering her face, she had taken it out of her of ponytail._

_Draco shrugged, deciding to be difficult and she sighed before snatching the phone off him._

_H: Hello?_

_S: Hi Hermione._

_H: Oh hi, Sophie, how are you?_

_S: Just the usual, and you?_

_H: Me? I'm feeling awful. This thing is not good- can you hold for one second?_

_(To Draco) Do you mind?_

_S: Hermione? Hermione?_

_H: Yes honey-_

_S: Hermione, I'm terrified, I'm beginning to show, Mum even commented that I'm beginning to put on a bit of weight. She and Dad are going to be so disappointed in me. I can't hide it from them anymore, it's not fair on them and I feel so isolated.,.Everytime I've worked up the courage, something always happens and then the courage disappears. Can you do it for me, Hermione? Mum and dad adore you. Please._

_H: I can't do it, Soph-_

_S: (Crying) Please Hermione._

_H: Please tell them, I can't do it!_

_S: Okay, I won't force you...why did you text me earlier?_

_H: I have some info for you. It says on the internet to do some research. I found it out that it's important to take folic acid during the early stages of pregnancy._

_S: (Sighs) There's so much._

_H: Yes I know, a baby's so much to handle but I know you're going to be a good mum._

_S: Thanks, Hermione, I feel a bit better. So how's married life?_

_H: I'm so miserable right now in my life right now. I'm scared it's too much to handle, I would have told you yesterday, it's a shame you couldn't make it to the wedding but it went all wrong! (Mumble) I married this horrible guy who went to my school instead! There was a mix up. There's too much to tell you, I'll tell you when I see you._

_S: Oh Hermione...is he really that bad?_

_H: (More to herself) He's the vilest, most disgusting man ever. (Cries out) Now I'm stuck with him, I wished I realised it wasn't him- I'm so stupid!_

_S: Hermione, I think we both agree that you never wanted this to happen right? Stop blaming yourself, you never asked for it._

_H: (Nods) Mm._

_S: Listen okay, it's NOT your fault._

_H: Well it isn't Harry's._

_S: I know, I never said it was._

_End of Flashback_

*

'Oh...' Harry was speechless. 'That's makes much more sense.'

'How the fuck was I supposed to know it was your _cousin_ who was pregnant and not you?' demanded Draco.

'You don't start jumping to conclusions, Malfoy!' snapped Hermione so fiercely he involuntarily flinched and she turned round to face Harry with a deadly calm look. 'And Harry, you don't start punching people when you don't have the truth first hand! You should have asked me!'

'I'm sorry, Her-' said Harry, feeling truly ashamed of himself.

'I have Salmonella! That's why I've been throwing up.' she said annoyed, her eyebrows were knitted together in anger then she looked at them both coldly. 'Now gentlemen, if you don't mind, I need to throw up again and when I'm done, I'm going straight home. You can get yourselves out of hospital.'

The two men watched her helplessly as she picked up her jacket angrily.

'And don't you _dare _think I'm going to stop being angry. I'm not forgiving you two!' she hissed.

Then she slammed the door behind her.

oOo

* * *

**A/N I am REALLY REALLY sorry! I've been away on holiday and I hope this extra long chapter makes it up to you!**

**I know it seems like things seem possible between the two couples now, but there are going to be way more problems for our two couples!**

**So Seriously, HOW MANY OF YOU KNEW HERMIONE WASN'T REALLY PREGNANT? AND WHO WAS MORE WRONG? HARRY OR DRACO?**

**ALSO WHICH COUPLE DO YOU LIKE BETTER? IN THIS STORY? RELATIONSHIP-WISE?**

*****

**_Next Chapter:_**

**_Pansy continues to work down her list of things to do: that is the unfinished house, some new clothes for Harry etc. However Harry is distracted and unhappy that Hermione is choosing to ignore him. _**

**_But he's not the only one who's suffering- when Draco gets back from the Hospital, he finds...a bed in the front lawn? And some of his sleeping attire neatly folded on top of the covers? Hermione's determination to punish him only backfires when they both realise the minister wasn't joking when he said they had to live in the same house during the whole year._**

**_Literally._**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	7. Chapitre 7 Un lit dans le Jardin?

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

* * *

**Chapitre Sept - Un lit dans le jardin?**

_St Mungos, London_

'Helloooo?' yelled Draco. 'Can't I get a Healer in this fucking place?'

'Malfoy,' sighed Harry wearily, shifting to a more comfortable position on the hard hospital bed, 'there's no need to be so rude!'

'Oh shut it, Potter.' spat the pale blonde man maliciously, and he jammed his finger on the red button by his cot again.

Harry shut his eyes and prayed for peace even though he knew it would be a miracle if Draco Malfoy suddenly made a concious decision to shut up. Finally he re-opened them and reached over with his good arm and pressed a similar blood-red button beside his head-board. As if on cue, the ward door opened and a Healer in lime-green robes walked in with a genuine smile.

'Oh thank Merlin.' Draco sighed as he tried to sit up to inform the woman what was wrong but the Healer headed towards his arch-enemy's cot instead.

'Mr Potter, is there something wrong?' asked the Healer.

'Yes.' nodded the dark-haired man, he pointed at Draco. 'He's been moaning and groaning the past hour. I think he's in pain, it really upsets me. You see, he was one of my school friends from Hogwarts. Can't you sedate him?'

'What the fuck, Potter?' screeched Draco, glaring darkly at his so-called good 'friend'.

'Draco.' sighed Harry sadly, he looked imploringly at the woman. 'I'm really sorry, he's not usually this rude! He was always very polite, I think it's the pain! Please, miss...' Then he flung his head away from him in a dramatic act.

'You fucking dick, Scarhead! What- w- what do you think you're doing?' Draco now glared at the approaching Healer who had her wand out.

'I think you may be right, Mr Potter, he seems a bit delirious.' agreed the professional, she pointed her wand at Draco and his grey orbs widened in surprise.

'I'm not delirious! Get the _fuck _off-' shouted Draco, immediately pulling his covers up in defence but the tip of the Healer's wand touched his forehead swiftly and his protests were cut off effectively. His fists slackened and the white sheets slipped from his grip; he slumped back onto his pillow.

Harry smirked but was quick enough to wipe it off his face as the Healer turned to him, still holding her wand.

'Thank you.' he said quickly eyeing her wand cautiously, he arranged his facial features into a sad look. 'Do you mind getting me another room? It distressed me to see him like this.'

'Of course, Mr Potter, that can be easily arranged.'

oOo

_Fifteen minutes later_

'Mr Potter, I don't see any need for you to stay in St Mungos any longer, your arm has responded positively to the potion and is completely healed. Just take it easy and you can check-out anytime.'

'Thank you very much, Healer Whittlebroom.' Harry said with relief. He slid off the bed and stretched his arm gingerly; it felt oddly stiff but the pain was gone. He wondered where to go first. No doubt Pansy was waiting for him at home to explain his sudden disappearance but he decided Hermione was more important now; he cringed when he remembered Hermione snapping at him earlier, she was so furious!

'Shall I owl you when Mr Malfoy is free to leave? It won't be until tonight however.' the professional asked, filing his records with a flick of his wand.

'Oh...,' Harry shrugged carelessly, 'it's fine, he likes to be independent, and he can get home okay.'

When he left the ward and descended the circular staircase, he strolled into the reception. He made eye contact with an admiring young receptionist with bright pink curls and he picked up the feathered quill to sign his name. When he was about to sign off the 'r' of Potter, someone poked him hard in the back.

'Hello Parkinson.' he said simply as he turned around to face his furious wife.

'_Don't_ call me that _here_.' Pansy hissed quietly, she looked at the confused pink-haired girl behind the counter and smiled sweetly but dangerously enough for her to quickly return to her work.

'I can think of many names to call you-,' he said as she gripped his arm and steered him towards the exit, '-but I don't think you'll be too pleased.'

'Just call me "dear" for now.' she said through clenched teeth and nodded at a few people she recognised.

'Ugh, no, I'll sound like your mum. Imagine that, mother of-' Harry wrinkled his nose but stopped when she glared fiercely at him. She looked so furious and serious, he almost inappropriately laughed.

'Call me "your Majesty" then, you were okay with that this morning.' she whispered, the look of fury on her face suddenly turned into a look of adoration, and the hand that was threatening to rip the sleeve off his jacket curled affectionately around the crook of his elbow.

'I didn't know that term of endearment turned you into jelly.' Harry smirked.

She raised herself slightly onto her soles and fixed his collar absently but she murmured so quietly he could barely hear her whisper. 'Hush, paparazzi behind the white van.'

'How do you kn-?' began Harry but she purposefully took his hand and led him to an alleyway.

'Where are we going, Parkinson? I don't have the time or energy to play any more games with you, I need to find-' he began again.

'What you _need_ to find is some new clothes, you can't wear those again tomorrow!' she pointed at his clothes. 'We've missed our port key to New York but thankfully, JP arranged another one for us immediately, we'll go there now.'

'Who's JP?' he asked curiously.

'One of my best friends, you'll meet him later.' She suddenly grinned mischievously as she pulled out a tattered football shoe from her handbag, she pulled his hands towards her and covered its surface. 'He has no inhibitions.'

'What? What does that-'

But then filthy shoe began to pulsate and glow and Harry was immediately pulled towards the object.

oOo

_Designer clothing shop for magical beings, New York_

'Pansy!' boomed a deep voice somewhere in the store they had just arrived in. '_Ma belle!_'

'He's here?' Harry's designer wife exclaimed to herself in disbelief. She shoved him aside and darted forward in her snake-skin heels and was caught in the arms of a tall, dark-haired man in an electric blue blazer, a tight white shirt and completed his look with skinny dark denim washed jeans.

The pair began to talk excitedly as Harry stared vacantly, observing how close Pansy was standing to this stranger and how the impeccably dressed man had his hands on her lower back. He felt strange a longing inside him; he yearned to hold Hermione in the same intimate way. She was probably getting angrier by the minute! Did she really not care that he was in hospital? The dark-haired man seemed to notice Harry after a while and leaned forward to whisper in Pansy's ear. She sighed audibly and tugged him towards her husband.

'Mr Potter?' he grinned, holding his hand out.

'What?' snapped Harry, but his green eyes were distant and unfocussed.

'This is JP.' Offered Pansy, a bit surprised about his sudden change of mood.

'Is he always like this?' murmured JP to her.

'No.' She answered worriedly, she touched Harry's sleeve. 'Potter?'

'What?' he demanded irritably then his eyes met JP's. 'Where do you want me to sign?'

'What?' said Pansy raising her eyebrow.

'Let me handle this, Pansy.' JP told her in his baritone voice and flashed Harry a brilliant white smile that even made his snow-white T-shirt look grey. 'Can you sign my bum cheek?'

That got his attention. 'What?' barked Harry.

'Hello, my name is Jacques-Piere, most people call me JP which you are _very_ welcome.' The handsome man winked at Pansy to which she responded by rolling her eyes skywards.

'JP. This-' she said firmly, unfolding her arms to reach out for Harry, just in case. '-is Harry. He's my new _husband_.'

'Yes, _ma Cherie_, I was at the wedding too, remember?' reminded JP calmly. He slipped his warm hand into Harry's before Pansy could lay her hands on him and tugged him forward. 'You needed some new clothes, did you, Harry? I can look after him from here Pansy, you can go do _your_ shopping.'

'Hey-' protested her husband, squirming in JP's tight grip, but the gay designer simply hooked and entwined their fingers.

'_No_, I think I better come with you.' Pansy disagreed, oblivious to Harry's desperate attempt to fling off her friend's hand. 'JP, your tastes are wonderful but sometimes a trifle bit...erm...feminine?'

'Oh Pansy-' sighed JP exasperatedly, he paused as Harry managed to unhook all his fingers except for the thumb, '-hold still, sunshine! I can't talk while you're squirming around!' he let go of Harry's hand and pulled him close by the waist, his hand dropped down slightly to cup his bottom and Harry squeaked audibly. 'Now, Pansy, if you're talking about the time – we've went over this _so_ many times – if you're on about that time when I dressed Draco in a pink lacey blazer-'

'That _exactly _what I'm talking about, JP.' Pansy said hotly.

'You know I did it just to piss him off! Besides I wanted to see his slim pale white body in something more-' JP trailed off dreamily and snapped out of his reverie, shaking his head at Pansy in disapproval. 'You should have put some fake tan on him. He's as pale as my mother's-'

'I _like _him as he is.' She interrupted. 'Okay, what about the time, I walked into the changing room and he was lying stunned on the bench and you were pulling on _very_ tight corduroys on his legs and his boxers were half-off.'

'They slipped off, nothing to do with _moi_.' JP shrugged. When he met her dangerous glare, he waved his hand flippantly and sighed airily. 'Okay, he didn't want to put the trousers on so I tried to pull them off. I lost my temper and cursed him. The boxers kinda slipped when I pulled his jeans off but I _swear_, Pansy, I tried to pull them back up.'

'Did you _look_?' she demanded, looking slightly horrified.

JP gave her a sly look and tapped his nose. 'Maybe I did, you naughty girl.'

'Oh god, you molested my boyfriend.' Pansy groaned.

'And now, let's molest the _husband_.' He grinned and looked at Harry who was still standing firm by a simple touch on the bottom. 'Shall we?'

'_Please don't leave me with him_!' mouthed Harry desperately to Pansy.

oOo

_Five minutes later_

'Are you done yet, Boy Wonder?' called JP pleasantly. He walked up to the full length mirror and brushed his hair carefully with his fingers then grinned handsomely at his own reflection. No answer came from the closed cubicle and he smoothed the lapels of his blazer down before saying, 'Alright.'

He strolled leisurely to Harry's cubicle and without asking, he drew the curtain across swiftly and as he expected the dark-haired man was sitting with his face in his hands on one of the benches in the spacious changing cubicle. JP looked at the stack of clothes he gave him to try on but they were dumped on the floor.

'Harry?' And as he expected again, JP got no answer.

'Harry.' he repeated and he cleared his throat. 'Can you take off your shirt please?'

Harry obeyed slowly but immediately, his emerald eyes gazed down on the floor and he was frowning. His fingers pushed the buttons out of their holes and instead of unbuttoning them all, he undid the first few and pull off the shirt.

'Good.' nodded JP. 'Now take off your trousers. You can't try on new ones until you take those off right?'

To his utter surprise, Harry followed his instructions.

'And your boxers?' tested JP, his eyes wide.

Harry's hands reached his waist and his thumbs hooked under the waistband.

'WHOA!' yelled JP. 'Stop, man! STOP!'

He reluctantly shut his eyes and tried to run out of the cubicle, his arms in front for guidance. When his hands clutched something soft and slightly hard he snapped open his closed eyes.

His hands were groping Harry's bare chest!

'Pansy!' yelled JP. 'You need to get into here! FAST!'

'What's wrong?' demanded a man who just walked into the cubicle. He was _very_ good looking and JP had to mentally slap himself to gather his wits together.

'Nothing! Can I help you?' lied JP.

'JP, it's Pansy, I used a glamour charm.' Grinned the man.

'Pansy?' gasped her friend in shock, he stood up and examined her all over. 'You make a _very _hot man!'

'Well I wasn't going to turn into an ugly man, JP.' She said snidely in an altered deep voice; it was rich and also very soothing. The man before JP was fairly tall with such dark hair it almost looked black but he was very pale and his eyes were almost as dark as his hair but had tiny gold flecks that sparkled in the light.

'JP, stop checking me out!' she snapped.

'Don't whine.' JP winced. 'You sound like Pansy when you just snapped at me like that there!'

'I am Pansy!' said the man deeply.

'Whatever! Pansy, you're just perfect! So handsome! I wonder...' trailed off JP suggestively as his eyes dropped down to her crotch.

'No, JP, I didn't have time to make myself a fake penis.' She sighed.

JP shuddered, 'A man without his manhood...anyways, why are you like this?'

'Stupid shop rules, apparently women aren't allowed in the men's changing rooms and vice-versa. The assistant said that if I wanted to see Harry, he had to come out! But you sounded desperate so I had to charm myself. Now what's wrong with him!'

'He was very quiet when I sent him into this cubicle to get changed. A few moments later, I asked if he was ready to come out but he didn't even respond. I came in and he was looking like this!'

'Only in his boxers?' Pansy asked skeptically.

'Erm...he was being unresponsive but he was very submissive...' JP explained then caught her glare. 'I swear I was only testing him out!'

'JP, when will you ever think with your brain and not your manhood?'

'What are you doing here?' asked Harry suddenly snapping out of his trance.

'Erm...just seeing what you think of the clothes?' offered Pansy.

Harry didn't recognise her at all, he sighed and looked down at the clothes on the floor. He kicked over the pile angrily.

'I don't want to try on clothes! I'm stressed! I don't want to buy new clothes! I want my old life back!'

'Oh fuck.' Swore JP quietly to Pansy. 'He's completely lost it. What ward did you take him out of? The Mental Unit? 'Cause I think he just hit mid-life crisis.'

'He's only twenty-five, JP.' Disagreed Pansy, she looked at Harry was pacing around the cubicle and kicking the bench in frustration.

Harry caught her gaze and he angrily snatched his clothes up to dress himself.

'Can you two get me out of here? I know I'm asking a lot from you, JP, to betray Parkison. But so much has happened today. I already can't handle being married to her, its unbearable to live under the same roof with her. She doesn't even care about my feelings. She just floats in and changes my everything! What else? I want to see Hermione and she refuses!'

'Wha-?' protested Pansy in her deep voice but it verged on squeaky.

However JP interrupted her, throwing her a dangerous look and he looked at Harry sympathetically. 'Of course, Harry, let's go, I'm sure she won't freak if we left her here, right?'

Harry stared back at him blankly. 'That's it?'

'What do you mean "that's it", Boy Wonder?' asked JP pleasantly.

'I mean...no cursing? No raping? You're just going to walk out on Parkinson without telling her?' asked Harry sceptically.

'Harry...,' JP explained, 'This is a clothing store and one of Pansy's favourites, don't you think she'll be a bit...preoccupied? Besides, I know she's got a foul temper but there never last long.'

'I didn't care for that.' Grumbled Pansy.

It was only then when Harry noticed the man was still standing in the cubicle with them.

'Who is this...?'

'This is...erm...Bernardo. He's a famous plumber.' Grinned JP.

Pansy gave her best friend a very dangerous look that rivalled the one he gave her earlier when the word 'plumber' slipped through his lips but nonetheless she smiled stiffly and held out her hand, 'May I call you "Harry"?'

'Of course.' Agreed Harry, he seemed to relax a bit after deciding this Bernardo was quite civilised and wasn't going to molest him like the man beside him.

'Excellent! Now, hurry up and change, Potter!' JP's glittering smiled gleamed under the bright floating light.

'Why?' Harry asked bewildered.

'Didn't you say you wanted to make your great escape? Quick, before Pansy notices!' grinned JP, rubbing his hands together, his smooth black onyx ring twinkled. 'We'll wait outside.'

'Pansy already _has _noticed.' Grumbled Pansy in her velvet baritone voice.

'No, she hasn't, spoilsport.' JP grinned. 'You're Bernando for now.'

'Oh fabulous.' She muttered sarcastically. 'I'll play along but if he starts spouting bad things about me behind my back in front of me, I'm not holding back.'

JP clasped his hands together and looked thoughtfully at the closed cubicle. 'By the way, Pansy...nice one.' He murmured, his eyes staring intensely at the mahogany door of the cubicle. 'Much nicer than Draco's body.'

'Of course, he's an auror.' Pansy explained, looking slightly smug to her best friend.

She had definitely noticed that.

oOo

_Leaky Cauldron, London_

'This is nice.' Commented Harry, looking much better after throwing back a firewhiskey.

'If you're into that.' Snorted Pansy.

Harry looked at the dark haired man sitting with them in bewilderment. His auror instincts were kicking, he was pretty good at analysing things but he couldn't quite suss this man out. He was familiar but the well trained auror didn't remember seeing his face anywhere.

'Sorry, he's a bit grouchy today. He's on his period you see.' laughed JP heartily and giving Pansy a pointed look, he turned to Harry and nodded. 'So...got yourself in a bit of trouble today did you?'

'I wouldn't say it was trouble, I was expecting something like that to happen sooner or later.' Shrugged Harry nonchantly.

'Wasn't trouble?' gasped Pansy in disbelief, spilling some of her water as she slammed the glass down. ' I'm using every ounce of my power to suppress the media! Your little violent conduct today cost me millions to cover up!'

JP groaned inwardly and Harry blinked at her, his face confused.

'Your power...? I thought you were a plumber?'

'He's not really a plumber. He's actually a...erm...' struggled the gay designer.

'I'm a male model.' finished Pansy smoothly, her handsome face was perfectly straight. 'My father owns the majority of the wizarding newpapers and few of the muggle ones too actually. Anyways Pansy asked a favour of me and I just about managed to smooth things over. It was quite a difficult job, I must say.'

'You mean...it's not published in the press?'

'That's what I said.' She sipped her water.

'Erm...thanks. I'm kinda glad, my reputation would have been ruined.'

'Yes.' She agreed fiercely. 'You would have been ruined! You would have been chased by reporters the moment you set your foot outside St Mungos! I paid them very handsomely! Why do you think the whole wedding mix-up isn't over the papers? Because _I'm_ paying them! Stop punching people, you're going to ruin Granger's reputation if you keep acting like that!'

'I didn't think of that.' Admitted Harry sheepishly.

'I didn't think so.' Sighed Pansy, she was going to have a lot of problems if her new husband continued to wear his heart on his sleeve. 'The problem is, because you both kept your weddings such a hush-hush and now you're appearing in public with...let's say...the rival's partners. I've covered all the media outlets but the public are very quick to formulize their own opinions. They're going to know there's something up and they're gagging for little outbursts like today in that cafe. So please, Potter, if you just act civilised towards me-'

JP suddenly started choking and he thumped his chest as he tried to clear his airway of the firewhiskey he was drinking.

'Sorry, drank too fast.' Apologised JP, he looked knowingly at Pansy and Harry frowned. 'Continue on!'

'I was saying if you act civilised towards _mean_ little Pansy and Draco, the public will get bored eventually and leave you alone! So some active and _good_ roleplay these first few months, Potter!'

'She's more than mean!' snorted the green eyed wizard, throwing back the last of his drink. JP snatched the glass from Pansy before she could shattered the glass in her shaking hand, he swallowed all of hers and Harry stared inside his empty glass thoughtfully; still frowning. 'Does that mean I have to lie to everyone and just plaster a smile on my face and pretend everything's okay when it's so obviously not?'

'You can't lie to all those at the wedding because they're witnesses of what really happened. Those at work...I'm afraid you're just going to have to lie through your teeth and make up a damn good story! Something along the lines of 'Hermione and I's relationship has been quite strained the past few months but then I met the wonderful and beautiful Pansy!'.'

Pansy was surprised that he did not then make any comment about the self-praise she added in her advice, she was even more surprised when Harry reached over and shook her hand and clapped her back. His emerald eyes were wide and sincere as he looked straight into her eyes when he said: 'Thank you so much, Bernando! I know you did this all for Pansy's sake but I thank you on behalf of Hermione because her reputation matters so much! Her work on the magical creatures is really important to her and I nearly ruined things!'

Pansy looked at JP and the designer looked mildly surprised himself, Pansy slipped her hand out of Harry's and managed a polite smile.

'It's alright.' She nodded then paused and gave him a very serious look. 'Just don't mess up again!'

oOo

_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

Hermione reluctantly closed the heavy oak doors of the Library behind her. She had been back from the hospital for two hours now and at first (as it was her work's nature), she routinely examined the house elf staff living accommodations and got to know each member thoroughly to ensure that they were all treated well and that they were happy serving the Malfoys. At the very present, she was touring around the Manor with the house elf named Trilby, they inspected the exterior of the Manor and Hermione fell in love at first sight with the vast gardens with their romantic sculptures, velvet and well groomed lawns and the bountiful array of exotic flowers, she also noticed there was quite a lot of different species of pansies. Next, they moved onto the numerous guest bedrooms, all lavished richly in expensive rugs, imperial china and dark woods then onto the greek-styled bathrooms, all complete with sunken Jacuzzis and finally the section Hermione had been looking forward to; the Malfoy Library. Her hands were shaking and she could just about control them so that she could turn the gold handles and quickly, she shoved open the intricate doors that had dragons carved deeply into the wood. She almost couldn't breathe when she took in her surroundings, she was standing in the heart of the library, beneath her feet was polished marble, a beautiful circle with a diameter of approximately 20 feet was painted on the smooth surface, there was a huge gold gilded sun in the centre with glittering stars scattered near the border of dark navy blue. Aisles of shelves lined the perimeter of the diagrammatic circle and there were a _lot_ of books! There was one more thing stopping Hermione for making a bee-line towards the books and that was the breath-taking ceiling or the lack of it- up above her was a simple glass dome and that was it. The purpose of the simplicity was that one could admire the fluffy white clouds streaming lazily across the blue sky or be enchanted by the sparkle of the millions of stars in the night sky.

'Does Mistress want to move onto the kitchens?' piped up the house elf.

'Give me fifteen minutes.' croaked Hermione, her vocal cords did not seem to work at the moment, she wandered in a dream-like trance towards the books. Of course, she did not stay for fifteen, but for almost forty five minutes. She noticed there were a lot of fashion and textile books that obviously belonged to Pansy but there were a lot of other books on a huge variety of topics which suggested that Draco liked to read? She was sorry to leave but she had finally found a place to spend most of her time when she was stuck in the Manor for the next year.

'What would Master and Mistress like for dinner tonight?' asked Trilby as he lead her downstairs to the kitchens.

'Surprise me, I eat anything.' Hermione smiled but saw that the house elf looked slightly confused. 'I suppose that your Master is a fussy eater then?'

'Master dislikes fish, nuts, vinegary and spicy foods.' listed the house-elf.

'Perfect.' Said Hermione, with an evil glint in her eye. 'I'll make dinner for him tonight then, my first ever meal as a dutiful wife.'

oOo

_Designer Men's Clothing store, London_

'I can't _stand_ him anymore!' whined Pansy, her baritone voice squeaking.

'_Ma belle_, please please stop whining like a girl! It's making you sound so camp.' winced JP.

'I _am_ a girl!' scowled Pansy automatically, she thumped him lightly on the arm. 'He's talking to me constantly! Why!'

'There's no doubt he's comfortable around you. There are many reasons for that! One he could be gay...'

'I doubt that.'

'Let me finish! Another reason could be in reality, he gets on really well with you and you two are very compatible.'

'I seriously doubt that! No, I don't _doubt_ that, I _know _it's not true! Because when I'm Pansy as a girl, he completely hates my guts, don't forget that we're all out here together because he wants to escape from _me_! Now he's treating me like Ron Weasley!' she screwed up her face in frustration.

'Bernando! I'm all done, bring JP!'

'See _what _I mean?_' _wailed Pansy, she chewed on her bottom lip.

'Stop doing that, you're turning me on!' smirked JP.

'Gross, cut it out, JP. I don't have the means to pleasure you.' She snapped.

'I can't help how attractive you are! I think I may be in love with you!'

'BERNANDOOOOOOO!'

'For fuck's sake.' swore Pansy under her breath before raising her voice. 'I'm coming, Potter!'

'Come on, honey, at least he's getting his wardrobe sorted out. You'll never get him to comply when you're in your female form.'

'I guess you're right.' She grumbled as they walked into the men's changing room.

'Fuck, Potter, you look good. If you weren't so straight, I would apparate you back to mine right now!' winked JP, he circled the very uncomfortable Harry Potter and inspected every inch of him.

'I thought being married would be the first reason?' Harry asked uncertainly.

'The "Married" status never has stopped me before.' admitted JP.

'Your best friend hasn't started looking for us yet? I thought she would be tearing the country apart by now.' Harry asked, his eyes constantly darting over to the entrance as if a blazing Pansy would storm in right now in her killer snake skin heels.

'I'm hundred percent sure she's not doing that right now.' said Pansy dryly and when Harry looked at her confused, she added, 'Almost.'

'I rang her earlier when you were changing, she's alright now, I told her we were getting you some new clothes and she seems relaxed.' explained JP.

'She's probably continuing to destroy my house as we speak.'

'Is it really _that_ bad? I've got- I mean I think Pansy's got good taste.' asked Pansy carefully.

'I suppose she does but not in my eyes, I know that is as hard for her as it for me. But she's clearly so self-centred-' sighed Harry.

She opened her mouth to object but JP glared at her so intensely, she sealed her broad lips shut.

'-she doesn't remember that I'm having a hard time accepting this and she just waltzes into my life and changes _everything _to suit her! That makes her feel better, but what is changed to make _me_ feel a bit better? New decoration in the house, new bath tub, new fridge so I can't even access my own beer to de-stress and new clothes!'

'Let it all out, man.' said JP and there was a pregnant pause in the changing room after his remark.

'I think I'm going to go pay for all this.' said Harry suddenly uncomfortable after his little confession.

Pansy thrusted a plastic card into his hand. 'Pansy told us to pay for it, she knew you don't normally spend this much on clothes. I know we've just met but treat it as my late wedding gift .'

'You know... I feel sorry for the guy.' said JP quietly when Harry left the changing rooms, Pansy stood in front of the full length mirror and fixed her white shirt, smoothing out the little creases. She brushed her hair back and examined her eyes before returning JP's look in the mirror.

'Don't repeat the obvious.' She said quietly.

oOo

_From St Mungos to Malfoy Manor Number Two, Still in London_

It was shortly after nine when Draco walked out of St Mungos, the Healer said that they managed to get the bruises on his abdomen to disappear but because his cracked ribs from Ron's punches the day before had only just completely healed, he still needed to take it easy and he shouldn't exert himself more than he really had to which left him having to travel a longer way home- calling his personal chauffeur for a lift.

'Are you alright, Mr Malfoy?' asked his driver as Draco refused to be helped into the car. It was the second time he had been in hospital since his wedding.

'Just shut up and drive.' snapped the blonde man as he struggled to sit upright in his seat, he pressed a button on the black box beside him, the door of the cupboard clicked open and he removed a half full bottle of scotch whiskey; pouring himself a generous measure as the car moved off. As soon as the liquid hit his stomach, he relaxed, he felt much more better now.

Now all he had to do was just face the wife.

Yes, the _wife_.

Draco looked out of the window when he recognised the tall palm trees lining the driveway to the Manor; it looked particularly impressive in the late evening sun, it was still bright despite the time, and the white walls were washed in a orange beams and water trickling from the small fountain was infused with sparkling diamonds. _And_ he had just noticed the banner that was hanging distastefully across the balcony above grand archway of the front doors.

How it did not catch his attention straight away he did not know, _how_ could he have not noticed the crude red letters painted on the huge white banner? One thing he did know was that the 'W_e_LCo_Me _h_O_mE _h_UB_b_Y!' banner was certainly the work of his wonderful ex-Gryffindor wife, Hermione Malfoy.

'Your new wife seems very loving.' commented his driver but he shut up as soon as he saw Draco's grey eyes narrow in the rear mirror.

The raging Draco Malfoy smashed his glass on the armrest; sending fragments of glass and the remnants of his drink all over the expensive upholstery. He pulled on the handle of the car and kicked the door open furiously then marched up to the grand front doors to the Manor.

A small note was fixed to the door, he could recognise that neat cursive from a mile away, there was two words written on one of his stiff expensive parchment which told him she had somehow broke into his study room and she even had the cheek to sign her name under the two words: 'Look Right.'

Meanwhile, Hermione smiled as she brushed hair carefully in front of the vanity mirror in their master bedroom. She already heard him slam the car door and the slap of his expensive shoes as he raged his way to the front door. She guessed he was probably reading and taking in the sweet note she left him on the door, any time now...

'ARGHHHHHHHHHHH! You stupid-'

His choice of swear words made Hermione blush rosily, she stopped her brushing and set down her wooden brush back in the drawer and stood up, securing her silk nightgown firmly around her small waist before gently pushing the balcony doors open so he didn't know she was up there watching him.

Earlier Hermione asked the house elves to move one of the guest beds to the front lawn, they did not question her strange request but she told explained that it was for romantic purposes and she wanted to greet her husband when he returned from hospital and the house elves who, so far, had seen the couple bicker incessantly were only too happy to see them finally bond. The large bed was completed with covers and plump pillows with his sleeping attire at the bottom of his bed. She even fixed fairy lights onto the bed rails; twisting the glowing bulbs around the iron, and she placed a huge dragon doll with a large purple 'D' stitched on its belly on top of one of the pillows. Then to top it all off, the dinner she made was resting on a tray on top of the covers.

'Is this a fucking joke? Is _this_ how she punishes me?' screeched Draco but then his stomach rumbled so loud, even Hermione heard it. He looked around for him for cameras, but then sighed, he would deal with one problem at a time so quenching his hunger was first. He refused to eat the horrible hospital food St Mungos offered him so his mouth water when he saw the dinner laid out on the bed for him; chicken breast covered in a thick steaming white sauce with vegetables and garnished with parsley, there was even dessert of pavlova in a china bowl and a glass of white wine to compliment the creaminess of the poultry. He stabbed at the chicken and sliced off a large chunk of the white meat before stuffing it into his mouth. He groaned immediately, regretting his plan of action for the fire was undescribable; it felt like the roof of his mouth and his tongue was burning a thousand degrees! Draco choked and spat out the meat, and used his hands to wipe off the remnants off his tongue. His mouth watering but it did not help the burning sensation, he grabbed the glass of wine and downed it, only to spit it back out, it was stinging the blisters that had just formed in his mouth, it was not wine in the glass but...vinegar!

The house elves _knew_ he hated spicy foods and vinegary foods! He did not need to hear her roar of laughter to know that it was _her_ who set this all up. He whipped around to face her, she was bent over the balcony rails, howling with laughter, her eyes screwed up and leaking with tears as she beat the railing with her hand.

'Uhh ooo!' he tried to yell at her, but his entire mouth was flaming so much, he couldn't even say "It's you!". His incoherent grunts left her in stitches, his tongue was burning so much, it sprang tears in his eyes, he wiped his eyes furiously with his hands, soon realising the mistake as his eyes stung painfully, the spicy sauce was irritating his eyes.

Hermione physically couldn't breathe anymore, it was all too funny, she was laughing so much, her stomach was so sore, even she started to cry.

'Hahaha...' she screamed as her husband ran blindly in circles in panic with his hands in front of him, she watched him stumble unknowingly towards the fountain and before they knew it, he tumbled head first into the fountain with a huge _splash_.

The sight of him resurfacing with his blonde hair plastered to his pale face and in his dripping wet clothes was hilarious but watching him slap water on his face and rubbing his stinging eyes and then cupping the water in his hands and gulping it down to cease the fire in his mouth did it for her. Draco Malfoy drinking fountain water!

'Trilby!' was the first thing he called hoarsely when he climbed out of the fountain and then he tripped over in his wet shoes.

'There's no use, I let them take tonight off as a treat! Have you forgotten that I fought for the rights of these creatures?' Hermione managed to say through her giggles.

He did not respond and was still lying sprawled on the green grass, he was lying on his side with his head faced towards the ground so she couldn't see his face, one of his black shoes was off and his matching black sock was half off his foot. He wasn't moving at all.

'Malfoy?' called Hermione worriedly, her body suddenly stopped shaking with laughter.

'Malfoy!'

oOo

_Harry's and Pansy's Bungalow, Bangor_

Bernando told the other two men that he had to leave as he had business matters to attend to. Harry wasn't too comfortable being left alone with JP but he didn't want to plead his new friend to stay so he and JP had dinner in a small restaurant before Harry decided to head home.

As he walked to the door of his house, he took a deep breath before turning the door handle; he hadn't seen Pansy since earlier that afternoon. No doubt she would pissed off him for leaving her in the store without telling her. He grimaced as he pushed the door open, he slid out of his shoes and walked into the living room and left his jacket on the sofa. At first, the room was strange to him but then he remembered she changed it that morning.

'Parkinson?' he called, he may as well get it over with.

'I told you not to call me that!' he heard her sigh. 'I'm in the kitchen.'

He swallowed nervously as he entered the kitchen where she was, she had changed into a beige wrap dress which hugged her figure very nicely and she opted for a pair of fluffy slippers over her usual heels. She was making herself a cup of espresso from the new coffee machine sitting beside the microwave. Harry still glared at the extra-terrestrial towel rack with disgust and he opened his mouth to speak.

'I'm sorry about earlier, I suppose I should have told you before leaving just like that.' he muttered.

'You're not only one to blame, my own best friend left with you! Goodness knows what his intentions are!' she replied casually, she stirred sugar into her cup.

'Well...I thought I'd bring you some flowers...' he mumbled.

Pansy spun round, her eyes wide with shock as he stood before her holding a bunch of pink and white pansies. He smiled sheepishly at her; he looked somewhat guilty as well. Harry had felt slightly bad for treating her so badly earlier. He guessed neither of them wanted to stuck in this mess and he had not exactly made it easier for her.

'That's nice of you, Boy Wonder.' She said with a genuine smile.

'It's nothing.' He said quickly, turning a bit pink. 'They were on offer so I thought...I'd get some and it'll make the kitchen look a bit nicer...you know.'

'Of course, give them here...I'll put them in water.' She set down her cup and took the flowers from him, inhaling deeply the sweet scent, she removed the packaging and sorted them into a vase.'Perfect.'

Pansy went to set the vase on the table but Harry grabbed it and put it on the counter so that the flowers were hiding the towel rack.

'You really do hate that rack don't you?' she commented.

'It looks weird...' Harry paused and looked at her, confused. 'Where's the weird fridge?'

'Harry Potter's word of the day: weird! I replaced it because you made such a big fuss on it. So I bought two fridges, they're smaller but oh well. The one of the right is mine as you can see there's the keypad lock on it and the one on the left is yours.'

'Oh...okay.' he said. She didn't say anything and all they could hear was she sipping her hot drink.

'Would you like a coffee?' she asked breaking the silence, she washed and dried her espresso cup with a new towel before replacing the cup in the cupboard and folding the towel neatly.

'No, I'm going to bed, night.' He answered shortly and when she turned around, he had already left the kitchen. She smiled when she noticed the vase had moved back to its original place on the table.

She supposed the next year wasn't going to be too bad if they kept making compromises like this.

oOo

* * *

**A/N**

**I know I haven't updated in a very long time and I apologise for that! My course is just so demanding...**

**So til next time,**

_**Next Chapter:**_

_**Why is Draco lying on the ground? Is there a reason he doesn't like spicey foods or vinegar? Is it an adverse effect to his medication? Hermione soon finds out!**_

_**Pansy is making compromises for Harry, but can they compromise on their sleeping arrangements? They spend all night concocting plans but then the simple solution does seem like they'll just have to share the same bed. **_

_**Seems like both couples won't be getting any sleep tonight!**_

**REVIEW!**


	8. Chapitre 8 NENAW! NENAW!

_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

Hermione dashed down the stairs as fast as she could, even her silk dressing gown loosened around her waist and flowed behind her like a billowing pale pink cloak as she flew towards the door handle. She yanked open the heavy front door and hopped over the threshold; wincing as her bare feet touched the cold paved walkway and she ran over to the man lying still on the trimmed garden.

'Malfoy?' she hissed as she approached his still form. 'This isn't funny!'

But when he didn't respond, she bit her bottom lip rather hard, she had only been married for a day now and she had just widowed herself!

She knelt down beside him and touched his shoulder, he felt cold and wet underneath her fingertips, she shook him but yet again, he did not move so she rolled him over onto his back. His wet hair was plastered to his pale face and his mouth was gently open; his lips were swollen and very red and his eyes were slightly puffy.

'Mal-'

His grey eyes suddenly snapped open and those cold hands that lay at his sides gripped her waist and the next thing she knew, she was shrieking as she was flung onto her back onto the hard grassy floor. Then his large hand covered her mouth and her screams were immediately muffled.

'Shut up...don't...move.' He panted hoarsely into her ear. Hermione squeaked in reply, she couldn't move anyway, his hand was still firmly clamped over her mouth and his other hand was laid down on her hip bone, and he was straddling her, his strong legs squeezing her legs together and his body was crouched very close to her. He was dripping wet from the fountain.

It felt like a lifetime when he finally regained his breath and she heard him swallow deeply a few times to moisten his mouth. She wrinkled her nose- a bead of water was trickled from his neck onto it and it was annoying her but she was too afraid to move her hand to rub it away. Finally, he uncovered her mouth and placed his hand on the patch of grass above her shoulder and he pulled back, gazing blearily into her eyes.

'You nearly killed me!' he hissed, his throat crackled.

'I'm sorry-' she whispered, genuinely sorry.

'I'm very sensitive to spicy foods, it makes me throat swell up and I can't breathe!' he raged, tears were still in his swollen eyes, his pupils were dark as he narrowed them. 'What the fuck were you playing at?! Killing me won't let you get access to all my money!'

'Ha! ' she snorted. 'I don't need your filthy money; I did it because I was _angry_ at you! You nearly ruined things with my boyfriend!'

'Well I certainly didn't take you for a person who would murder their own husband!'

'Get off me, you big prat!'

She tried to sit up but he pinned her back down, he looked down at the hand that was fisting her dressing gown and he clenched his teeth.

'Why are you wearing Pansy's dressing gown?'

'It was in the wardrobe...hey what are you doing?!'

With a loud snarl, he ripped the sleeve off her exposing her bare arm, Hermione hissed back at him and shoved him so hard, he fell back onto his bottom and he actually looked rather stunned. She scrambled to her feet and tried to run back into the house but his strong arms circled her waist and he lifted her up, her legs kicking in the air in protest.

'I will not be manhandled, Draco Malfoy!' she screamed.

'Every man needs to man handle their wives on their wedding nights, it adds to the passion! Since we didn't get to spend our special night last night, we'll do it tonight!' he answered.

'I told you I'm not into S and M!' she yelled, clawing his arms that were wrapped around her waist, he winced but continued to walk with her in his arms. 'Let me down, you big oaf!'

'But I am, _darling_.' He grinned and he walked towards the fountain.

She yelped as she was dumped unceremoniously into the pool, she resurfaced immediately and coughed; sputtering as she had swallowed some water. She was completely wet, cold water trickled down her back and she shivered and Draco howled with laughter.

'Not bad, Granger.' He smirked, his eyes deliberately leering at her.

Suddenly she was aware of her appearance, the hem of her flimsy nightie floated on top of the water, exposing her white underwear visible under the water, the soft material clung to her body like second skin and became transparent; showing every single pore. She didn't bother wearing a bra as the nightie was padded...well not so padded now. Hermione flushed and covered her arms over her chest; she glared hatefully at him.

'You're bleeding.' He pointed at her head. Hermione frowned and touched her forehead and her fingers were stained in her blood when she examined her hand.

'Drat.' She muttered and she looked up at him. 'I must have cut my head when you _threw_ me into the fountain.'

'It's only a little scratch.' He shrugged carelessly and he turned around, picked up the shoe lying on the ground and put it back onto his foot. 'You nearly killed me.'

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

Harry was relieving himself at the toilet when Pansy walked into the bathroom, carrying a small bag in her hand.

'_Parkinson!_' he hissed in shock.

'Nothing, I haven't seen before, Boy Wonder. You forget I work with male models almost every day.' she said, shrugging her shoulders as she set the bag on top of the sink then she smirked at him. 'You better watch where you're aiming; I don't want the new tiles ruined because you can't control your peeing.'

Harry flushed a deep red, 'Please get out, you're intruding my privacy.'

'You're done now, are you not?' she asked, applying a cleanser onto her face.

Harry fumed as he zipped his jeans up and flushed the toilet; he rudely pushed her aside to wash his hands. Pansy glared at him and Harry childishly stuck his tongue out at her, she moved closer to shove him back but he dodged her hands and left the bathroom.

Harry was lying on the bed reading some pieces of parchment with a smug expression on his face when she entered the room, patting her clean face with a towel. She walked towards the wardrobe and pulled open one of the bottom drawers and removed a lavender nightie.

_Anytime now, _smirked Harry as he turned the parchment over, _one, two, three-_

'WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BEDROOM?!'

'_Our_ bedroom.' corrected Harry.

'So you cut all this off?' she demanded, her well manicured finger pointing sharply at the pile of crudely severed pink and white frills lying on the love seat.

'No.' Answered Harry.

'It wasn't _you_??' she asked skeptically.

'Well I didn't do it personally, my wand did it.' Replied Harry simply.

Pansy let out a scream of frustration and stormed off to get changed into her night gear. She returned soon after and pointed at him (she seemed fond of gesturing with one finger when she was angry).

'Move off the bed.' She said.

'No.'

'Get _off_ the bed, Boy Wonder! Right now!'

'Where am I going to sleep? I'm not going to sleep with _you! _So I'm staying! This is _my_ bed; you can sleep downstairs on the couch.'

'I bought a new bed for me, but it's manufactured in Japan, it won't be here until another few days. So I bought you a camp-bed, it's downstairs in the living room, there's instructions on how to set it up.'

'You got to be kidding me.' He exclaimed with disbelief.

'Well, I'm not.' She said snidely. 'It's getting late and I'm tired, I need to sleep.'

'So do I, your majesty! You already changed the entire contents of my house and now you won't even allow me to sleep in my own bed?'

'You can until my new bed arrives from Japan. In the meantime, you're sleeping on the camp bed.'

Harry ignored her and looked down at his report again, he was about to add it to the pile he already examined when they all flew off the bed. He looked up just in time to see Pansy catch them with one hand and her wand in the other, she gazed firmly at him.

'Alright! But only because I'm a gentleman!' he huffed, he rolled off the bed and grabbed his set of pillows before snatching his documents from her and leaving _his_ bedroom.

'That's what I admire about you, Boy Wonder!' she called after him.

oOo

_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

'Where are all my house elves?' Draco demanded as soon as they walked in through the front door.

'On holiday, I let them have a little break.' She said pointedly, she held what was left of Pansy's night gown over her forehead to stop the little cut on her forehead bleeding.

'Don't look at me like that, Granger, I pay them very good salaries and I'm sure you've already checked their accommodation- I doubt any other house elves get to live in such luxurious conditions.' He said defensively.

'I know.' She grumbled, they made their way upstairs, she still felt very self-conscious in her wet nightie; she was pretty sure he was eyeing his underwear under the wet material.

'How frigid can you get, Granger, white _granny panties_?'

_Yup, he was looking._

'Stop perving on me, you pervert.'

'I need to consult my Healer to take a look at my eyes and mouth.'

'At _this_ time?'

'_Yes_.' Said Draco as if it was the most obvious thing ever. 'You must have been very poor before you got married to me, I have my own personal Healer, and I pay him lots of money to come whenever I need him.'

He walked off without giving her a chance to fight back. Hermione glared so darkly and intensely at his disappearing form that if it were possible it would bore a huge hole in his back; preferably where his heart was because then he would die.

Hermione grinned as these dark thoughts rolled in her head; she pushed open the door to their ensuite and stepped into the brightly lit room. Locking the door, she walked to the sink and examined the injury on her head in the massive mirror. It was just a tiny cut and a clot had already formed, Hermione raked her hand through her wet locks and sighed. She stripped off her night dress and underwear, she considered taking a bath again but she was tired so she opted for a shower instead. The cubicle was so big it could have fitted six people inside and but there was no shower head, instead there was a large panel with lots of pores on the ceiling above the cubicle, the control box rested on the far right hand side and Hermione played with the different knobs until she got the temperature right.

She sighed deeply in content as she let the hot water run over her body before dispensing a small amount of her shampoo into her palm and massaging it into her head. She closed her eyes and relished the feel of her fingertips rubbing soothing circles into her scalp.

'Could you pass me my shower gel?' asked a familiar voice.

Hermione's eyes flew open and she blinked through the rain of water, horrified.

'What are you doing here!' she spluttered. Her hands flew to her naked chest.

'My shower gel please. It's the green bottle.' Draco repeated calmly.

She cowered against the glass as much as she could when he sighed and walked over to the shelf to fetch the item he requested, she blushed furiously when he decided to stand right next to her in all his glory and he deliberately started to rub the green-coloured gel onto his arms and working up a lather on his well defined chest.

'Please.' She finally managed to say, her eyes were closed.

'Please what?' he asked innocently, he was clearly enjoying himself. 'Do you want to use my shower gel? That's a thousand galleons for a squirt!'

'Please leave!' Hermione begged.

'Why? It's my bathroom too; I need a shower so I'm in here!'

'I was in here first. Can't you wait?'

'Malfoys never wait, Granger, you should know that.' He smirked. 'Am I making you uncomfortable?'

'What do you think?' she demanded. 'You're standing very close to me and you're naked!'

'I'm very comfortable with my body. If you're not, then maybe you should leave.' He suggested, he cleansed the lather off his body and he stepped towards the door of the cubicle. 'You're lucky, I'm finished. Why, Granger, you're blushing like a tomato, let me cool you down!'

Hermione shrieked when she felt the hot water suddenly turn ice cold, she heard him laugh and slam the bathroom door shut and that was when she opened her eyes, her teeth chattering as she adjusted the temperature settings.

She finished her shower; she would get her revenge later.

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

Harry lay uncomfortably on the camp bed he just set up. His feet stuck out at the end and he had nowhere to lay his arms so he folded them across his chest. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his anger by breathing slowly in and out.

Pansy got him a single sized camp bed, but it even smaller than a normal single bed.

He thought about Hermione; that always calmed him down. He wished she was here right now, tucked up beside him (if that was possible on this tiny bed) with her head on his chest and he would be stroking her hair. But she was in London at the moment with that greasy haired ferret! He missed her so much, he thought bitterly of what could have been if this wedding didn't turn out to be such a disaster. They would have been spending every minute making love as husband and wife and they would have been looking forward to the honeymoon they planned out for the weekend.

His fingers twitched as he imagined her soft hair slipping between his fingers and he almost fell asleep when suddenly a loud siren noise went off. Harry jerked awake and fell promptly out of the camp bed in shock. When he stood up quickly and tried to locate the source of the sound, it immediately stopped as soon as it started. Harry furrowed his eyebrows in confusion then yawned; it must have been a figment of his imagination. He picked up his duvet and settled back into bed; closing his tired eyes and drifting back asleep.

_NE-NAW! NE-NAW! NE-NAW! NE-NAW! NE-NAW!_

'What the hell?' yelled Harry as he sprang out of bed again and landed on the carpet.

The siren noise stopped but he heard footsteps running down the stairs.

Pansy burst into the living room, her face was livid but they softened when she saw the empty bed.

'Potter?' she called, her voice laced with deep confusion.

'Down here.' He yawned.

'What are you doing down there?' she demanded.

'I fell out of the bed because it was _too _small.' He answered grumpily.

'Is this your way of getting me back? By waking me up with that loud siren noise?' she hissed.

'You heard it too? Well it wasn't me.'

'It wasn't you? It sounded like it was from the house.'

'I know...maybe there's someone in the house!'

'Really?!'

'No, Parkinson, my wards are very strong, I am an Auror after all.'

'But-'

'No buts, just go back to bed, I'm exhausted.'

'Will you come back upstairs please?' Pansy begged, she had fear in her eyes.

'Don't be a scaredy cat.' He chided. 'Besides, I am _not _sleeping in the same bed as you!'

'I never suggested that, you idiot.' She rolled her eyes then pointed at his bed. 'Bring it into the bedroom.'

'No. Go back upstairs.'

'_Bring it_, Potter!' she snapped. 'Or I will personally make sure you don't get any sleep tonight!'

oOo

_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

'Nice shower?' asked Draco as he paraded around the bedroom in his boxers, Hermione tried to not to look at him while she was combing her newly dried hair in the vanity mirror.

'Please don't ever do that again.' She said, placing the brush down.

'Well you were using _my_ bathroom. Use one of the guest ensuites from now on! Whenever the house elves are back from that little holiday you set them on, I am going to have them disinfect my _entire_ bathroom _three_ times to remove your germs.' Said Draco, wrinkling his nose.

'You are just a little spoiled brat aren't you?' she said rudely, she saw him coming towards her in the mirror and she immediately look at her hands on her lap.

'Are you embarrassed to look at me or something? You're such a virgin, Granger. Many girls would pay millions to see me like this.'

Hermione turned round so suddenly, he flinched, and she thrust her chin up and stared openly into his eyes to prove his statement wrong; she wasn't affected by him in any way!

'You better go to bed...I'd prefer it you chose one of the furthest guest bedrooms, I don't want to hear you snore!'

Hermione slammed the bedroom door shut angrily as she stomped off to find her own room. Her anger soon dissipated when she threw back the thick covers of her bed and flung herself into the bed; it was so soft, she nearly melted into the bed. She even moaned contently as she nestled her head comfortably into the plush duck down pillows. She was about to fall asleep when her bedroom door opened and there stood her husband looking very pissed off.

'I thought I told you not to make any noises.' He scowled, folding his arms across his toned naked chest. 'If this is about earlier in the shower, you're being very immature!'

'What noises?' she said irritably. 'I haven't been making any noises.'

'Don't do it again.' He warned and left the room.

Hermione swore under her breath and settled back into her comfy position, her heavy eyelids closed and her mind drifted off to Dream Land when a sudden loud piercing wail that sounded like a siren exploded in the air. She sat up quickly, her eyes wild and her heart pounding when the noise suddenly stopped.

Now it was _her _turn to do the complaining.

But before she could open his door, he pulled it open as if he was just about to leave.

'Come to confess?' he asked sarcastically.

'I'm tired, I don't want to play your stupid little games. Stop making all those noises.' Said Hermione.

'Oh please.' He scoffed. 'I have better things to do than to annoy you. You're the one who's being noisy!'

'I haven't!' she protested.

Draco examined her expression- she seemed to be telling the truth.

'Did you hear a siren noise?' he asked carefully.

'Yes I do, is that not you?'

'No.'

'Then who is it?'

'I don't know. I think it's hardly the house elves.'

'It can't be, they're not here.'

'It seems to come on every time I drop off to sleep.'

'I noticed that too.'

'Well it seems like either we're both delirious, probably drinking all that fountain water,' said Draco then added, 'Or there's something weird going on here. We'll do a small experiment.'

He levitated one of the beds in the guest room into his own bedroom. Climbing into his own bed, he indicated Hermione to sleep in the other bed.

'Let's see if we both hear it.' He said, and he turned his back to her.

Hermione sighed and crawled into her new bed, she was exhausted.

_NE-NAW! NE-NAW! NE-NAW! NE-NAW! NE-NAW!_

'Fucking hell, what is that!' swore Draco, his body jerking awake, he sat up and rubbed his face when it suddenly stopped, he looked at Hermione who was still awake.

'You heard it?' she questioned.

'Didn't you?' he demanded.

'No.' She said honestly.

'Come here.' He said, and she widened her eyes in shock, he scooted to the left side of the bed and he pulled back the covers on the right hand side of the bed. 'Get in.'

'What?! I'm not going to cuddle you and stroke your hair because you're _scared_!'

'As if I want you in my bed. I haven't any choice. Do you want any sleep tonight? My bed's huge, you can stay on one side and I'll stay on the other side.'

'No, I'm _not_ sleeping in the same bed as you!' declared Hermione, and she turned her back to him and closed her eyes. It was all too soon when she heard that familiar wail again.

'I knew you'd come.' He drawled as she huffily climbed under the covers beside him. She yanked the covers up to her shoulders and promptly turned her back to him.

'The other way, angel, we have to fall asleep at the same time.'

She muttered something inaudible when she rolled over to face him, he glanced at her tired face and closed his eyes, and she followed his action.

And voila, they fell asleep together with no siren going off.

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

'Do you hear that?' wailed Pansy agitatedly.

'No, I didn't.' Groaned Harry, he had told her five times in the past half hour now.

'Why don't you hear it? This is so unfair! I'm so tired!' she glared at him in accusation.

'I haven't heard it because every time I go to fall asleep, you start screeching like a banshee. Who needs that bloody siren when there's _you_?'

'It seems to be whenever we fall asleep. What is going on? Did you jinx this house or something?'

'As if I would jinx myself, Parkinson! Sometimes I doubt your intelligence....sorry did I say doubt? I _worry_ about your intelligence- ow!'

Pansy chucked her pillow at his head, she was sitting up now fuming and she went to pull her wand.

'One step too late, my dear.' Patronised Harry, he twirled her slender wand between his fingers. 'I am an Auror after all!'

'Well I'm bitch!' she cried as she scrambled out of bed at lightning speed and threw herself onto him. Harry who was completely taken by surprise fell back onto his pillow as her weight flung down on top of him. The camp bed which could only take so much force, collapsed onto the ground. Harry felt the air forced out of his lungs as his wife's sharp elbow dug into his chest by accident and he shoved her off him.

'Fuck.' Harry swore, rubbing the sore spot on his chest.

'That was very un-gentleman of you to push me like that!' she yelled.

'Get over yourself, princess!' he yelled back.

'Wait until Draco hears how you've been treating me!'

'Well he's not here is he? Not so brave now are we-'

The bed behind Harry exploded behind him; a shower of wood splinters, down feathers and shreds of pink material floated over him. He blinked in surprise and he looked up at the blazing Pansy who had picked up her wand when he dropped it.

'Don't...test...me.' she warned dangerously, breathing deeply to keep her anger in check.

'Well done, you just blew up your own bed, where are you going to sleep now?' he smirked.

'On the loveseat.' She answered promptly and walked over to the red sofa, pulling off the heavy throw and she lay down.

'What are you doing?' Pansy demanded when Harry climbed onto the sofa as well.

'Isn't it obvious? The siren noise just sets off whenever we're about to fall asleep.'

'I gathered that, what's your verdict, Boy Wonder?'

'I think this is some ruse to get us to sleep together-'

'I'm not sleeping with you! You've got another thing coming if you _think_-'

'Listen!' he snapped. 'Sleep on the same bed or whatever, we'll put it to the test, do you want to sleep or not?'

'Alright, but I'm not happy with this!' she said unhappily.

Harry lay on one end of sofa while she lay on the other side, it was too small to fit both of them so their legs pressed uncomfortably against each other.

Finally he fell blissfully asleep despite his awkward position but soon he was woken up by Pansy's scream.

'What's going on now? Do you still hear the siren?' asked Harry groggily.

'No! You kicked me in the face!' she said with tears in her dark eyes, cradling her nose.

'I won't do it again.' He promised. 'Go back to sleep.'

'I can't! Earlier, you stuck you foot up the back of my night dress, what do you think you are doing!' she stopped when he sat up and squeezed himself behind her so that they were both lying on the same side now. Pansy was very conscious of her bum pushed against his crotch even though he had his arms folded.

'Trying to get some sleep. This way I won't kick you in the face and so on.'

'You better keep your hands to yourself.' She hissed, scooting as far as she could from his body without falling off the edge of the sofa.

She fell out twice, after falling asleep twice, she sighed and regretted what she was about to do. She rolled to face him and pulled his arms; placing them around her waist.

'What are you doing?' he murmured sleepily, he was too tired to fight her.

'I don't want to fall out.' She whispered, yawning, her eyelids were so heavy.

oOo

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_**A/N**_

_**It has been commented that I seem to focus and 'progress' Harry and Pansy's relationship more than I do for Hermione and Draco, also that I seem to dislike Draco. This is partly true apart from the last statement because I LOVE DRACO. I am sure many readers out there think this so I would like to make a few pointers!**_

_**1. This story is focussed on both pairings but Draco/Hermione are slightly more dominant, I plan to make Harry/Pansy fall in love first- to all those Dracco/Hermione shippers, you may be glad that to hear that because I'm making Harry/Pansy fall in love quicker that this means they will be, in a way, out of the limelight of this story.**_

_**2. Why am I making things progress more with Harry/Pansy and not with Draco/Hermione? Hermione/Draco dislike each other WAY MORE than Harry/Pansy do. Hermione and Draco are both very stubborn people with strong/dominating personalities therefore there is more conflict between them. I know at the moment, things seem unlikely between them but you have to remember it is only chapter 8 and I don't like writing fics where Draco suddenly sees Hermione in a night dress and suddenly starts fancying her! I hope you would agree that its is more exciting if they fought more so that you, as a reader, can appreciate the feeling of 'Awww!' when they do get together!**_

_**I very much like writing the conflicting scenes between the couples so if you have any great funny scenarios I could use, please send me a private message and through your reviews. **_

_**I really enjoy all your reviews and the response has been immense. SO PLEASE REVIEW!**_

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**NEXT CHAPTER UP IF THIS STORY HITS OVER 130 REVIEWS!**

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_Come on guys, 17 extra reviews, surely you can do that for me? And Draco, Hermione, Harry and Pansy?_


	9. Chapitre 9 Les Parkinsons

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

* * *

**Chapitre Neuf - Les Parkinsons**

_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

_Harry moved behind her and his hands stroke the sides of her breasts down to her hips, she shivered. He was blowing hot air into her ear which he knew she really liked and his hand wandered into her lacy underwear-_

'Hem hem.'

Hermione woke up, she opened her eyes and peered up groggily at the ceiling; she nearly panicked at first when she did not recognise the dark wooden rim on the four poster bed but then she reluctantly remembered where she was and so, she relaxed immediately. She yawned and looked at Draco who was awake and lying on his side, his head propped by his hand.

'Good morning.' She said politely, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

'You obviously had a _good_ night.' He said rather pointedly, he watched her amusedly.

'What do you mean?' she frowned; despite their late night, she felt refreshed from her sleep.

'Pray tell,' he began, he deliberately paused to leer at her, 'why you decided that your nightie was better on my bedroom floor than on your person?'

Hermione looked down and suddenly realised that she was in her underwear (she decided to wear a bra to bed after the fountain incident) and the colour drained from her face when her eyes spotted the blue garment, her sleeping attire, was lying on the ground beside the bed.

'Oh f-'

'Oooooh Harry! Touch me there-' Draco cut her off by suddenly shrieking in a high pitch voice, he was smirking.

'Shut up!' yelled Hermione, snatching the dress and pulling it over her head at once. Her pale face immediately blushed furiously.

'Don't stop, Harry! Ohhhhhhhh myyyyyy GOD!' he squealed as he imitated her moaning.

'Please...stop it!' she cried, and buried her face into her pillow as he continued to make inappropriate sex noises in her ear. She was mortified!

He finally stopped teasing her because he couldn't stop laughing. When he finally settled down, he told her quite somberly, 'You mentioned my name quite a few times.'

'Oh god, what did I say?' she re-surfaced her head to look at him horrified for a couple of seconds before burying her head back onto the pillow; she cringed at the all the possible things she could have said.

'You told Potter that you thought Draco Malfoy was the sexiest thing ever and that only he could turn you on now.' He said shamelessly and immediately received a pillow thrown hard at his face.

'I didn't say that.' Hermione said angrily, she threw back the covers, no longer embarassed and went straight the wardrobe to pick out her clothes for today.

'Well after last's night little experiment, it seems we do have to sleep in the same bed together.' He commented, jumping out of bed as well. 'Learn to control yourself-'

'I was asleep, Malfoy.' she said pointedly.

'Well I don't want you stripping off in bed because you can't handle how hot I am in bed.'

'You are shameless, did you know that?' she said, she pulled out a brown checked shirt and some dark jeans.

'Don't you have other clothes?' frowned Draco, when he saw what she was going to wear.

'Since when did you are about my appearance?' she said rudely.

'My fiancé was a _fashion designer_. She was easily the most beautiful woman in the universe, I do have a reputation to maintain, I can't have my wife looking like a homeless man!'

He pushed her aside and examined the contents of her wardrobe (he had another wardrobe ordered in immediately- he didn't want her 'dirty' clothes to ruin his own expensive clothing).

'Brown, pink, green, black...is that all you wear?' he sighed.

'Yes...' she said, a bit uncomfortable but she raised her chin up, why was she feeling ashamed? Draco Malfoy was the last person on earth to tell her what to do!

'We are going to take you shopping and we are going to eat lunch in public.' He announced, pulling out a rose coloured blouse and exchanging it for the brown shirt in her hand. 'You better brush up your non-existent acting skills because we're going to give the public a little PDA.'

'Why?' she questioned, she was stubbornly holding onto the brown piece of clothing but he yanked it out of her weak grip.

'Because we are known that we absolutely hated each other in Hogwarts. And now we're together, even though Pansy managed to quiet things down after the wedding, people will talk and part of my mission statement for my company is honesty.'

'Honesty? _You_?' snorted Hermione.

'Yes, _honesty_.' Emphasised Draco. 'That's why people buy my products because I'm _honest_.'

'They obviously don't know the blonde haired ferret I know.' She said maliciously.

'Watch it Granger, I can say the same thing for you. What are people going to say if they thought you ditched the Wonder Boy, Harry Potter, who saved the world for this 'blonde haired ferret'? What are they going to think? Do you think people would still support this little research and rescue group of yours?'

Hermione bit her bottom lip; he had a point and she didn't like to admit it so she remained silent.

'I knew you'd see it my way.' Draco said triumphantly. 'Now let's get you some decent clothes and then let the role-playing begin!'

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

The bright light entering the living room woke up Harry with a start.

His back ached from sleeping in such an uncomfortable position on the small couch. With his eyes still shut (to adjust to the harsh light), he unfolded his arms and stretched them out in front of him-

BOOM!

He snapped his emerald eyes open and located the source of noise- Pansy Potter was lying face flat on the ground. Her long dark hair spread across the carpet, her arms were trapped underneath her torso and her legs were tangled in the throw from the sofa they slept on.

_Oh fuck..._thought Harry, he forgot that she had instructed him to wrap his arms around her body so that she wouldn't-

'You stupid dick!' she yelled, her voice thick from sleep and shock. 'You were supposed to make sure I don't fall out!'

'Not a morning person, are we?' grinned Harry. He was particularly enjoying her unfortunate morning so far. 'Did we fall out of the wrong side of the bed today?'

Pansy still managed to muster an impressive dark glare, she stood up and raked her shiny hair back behind her ears and chucked the throw over him on the sofa.

'I hate you.' She declared.

' My feelings too, Princess.'

'Oh...your clothes from yesterday arrived. I hope JP got you some decent clothing.' She called from the hallway. 'Hurry up and get changed! Can you believe it's eleven am already? My parents and the Weasleys are coming over at half twelve for lunch!'

'You what?'

'I invited my parents and the Weasley parents over for lunch-' She repeated as she entered the living room carrying the many bags with his clothes (there seemed to be more carriers than he remembered and suspected that JP may had added to his wardrobe without his consent) and she dropped them onto the sofa.

'Mr and Mrs Weasley would never agree-' interrupted Harry.

'Well they _already_ have.' Pansy emphasised, she looked disdainfully at the carpet on the floor and eyed the curtains, sighing. 'Mother's going to have a heart attack when she sees those awful curtains...and she _hates_ carpet. I tried to persuade her to eat out but she insists on seeing her daughter's new living conditions.'

'I don't like the sound of your mother already.' He declared and he received a dirty look in return.

'I'm not looking forward to this meeting either, Boy Wonder. You've got a lot to catch up on, Draco was...actually _is_ perfect. Mother will most likely criticise you non-stop and Father's a very intelligent man, so be warned, be on your best behaviour!'

'Alright.' Grumbled Harry. 'I can't guarantee that the Weasleys will be though! I suppose we better get started on making lunch?'

'It's okay, I hired a caterer.' Pansy said then she wrinkled her nose. 'In the meantime, go get a shower. You stink.'

oOo

_Designer Clothing Store, London_

Hermione had never tried on and bought so many different clothes in two hours. Draco called his personal chauffeur to take them into the city and he made a lot of calls during the entire journey. Apparently, he had commanded the designer clothing stores in advance to close for a while so that they could browse in privacy. She wondered how much he paid them because they eagerly pulled the doors open for their arrival and didn't protest when Draco pulled random pieces of clothing of the rails and threw it into their arms. Hermione drew the line when Draco tried to enter the female changing rooms with her.

'_Dear_,' she stressed, she glanced at the confused assistants beside them and she shot him a quick dangerous look, 'I'm not comfortable with you coming in with me.'

'Don't be silly, I'm your husband.' Draco said.

'No! You're not coming in!' she protested.

Draco sighed, turned to the assistants holding her clothes and he shook his head, 'We're just got married two days ago you see. My new wife's a bit of a saint, we haven't had sex yet.'

'MALFOY!'

'Yes dear?' he asked innocently.

'_You_ bring in the clothes!' Hermione gave up and stormed into the changing rooms.

Draco was grinning when he followed her, his arms piled with different items of clothing. Hermione waited until they were at the furthest end of the changing rooms before she whispered furiously at him.

'What were you playing at!'

'You're not very good at this role-playing thing are you?' he smirked, he dropped the pile onto a red armchair.

'You didn't need to go _that_ far.' She hissed, wringing her hands. What were people going to think? Her new husband was a horny bastard!

'They wouldn't believe us if we didn't go that far.' He said simply. 'Do you want your research group to fall?'

She sighed loudly and grabbed the dress off the armchair; she chose a cubicle and pulled the curtain across.

'Next!' he called.

'I haven't even tried it on yet!' Hermione frowned, she had only just taken off her shoes.

'It doesn't suit you.'

'I haven't even tried it on _yet_, Malfoy!' she repeated slowly.

'Don't bother, it makes your boobs look small.' He said crudely.

Hermione ignored him and tried it on anyway, she turned to her side and examined herself in the mirror...and he was right, she did look rather flat chested.

'I told you so.' He called as he interpretated her silence . 'Now try this.'

His pale hand thrust through the curtain, holding a fitted black dress with white lace. She took it reproachfully.

'Much better.' He nodded in approval as she stepped out. 'Now give me a twirl.'

Hermione felt stupid as she spun round with her arms out.

'Good girl.' He said like one would say to a dog. 'Do you like it?'

'It's alright. It's a bit tight under my bust.' Hermione said, but she secretly adored the dress, it was so pretty.

'It makes your boobs look great.'

At first, his crude compliments and rude remarks made her blush or feel extremely awkward but she decided that the sooner she tried them on without a fight, the sooner they leave the shop. He bought her some _very _fancy clothes for everyday wear and also bought her clothes for casual wear inside the house that she would normally wear going out. He even forced her to choose lingerie and she stuck to the white colour scheme.

'Before we leave, we need to sort a few issues out.' He said.

'For example?' she waited for him to elaborate, she was wearing the black and white lacy dress that accentuated her bust.

'You can't call me Malfoy anymore, that gives it away and as much as I hate to do this but I give you my permission to call me by my first name.'

'Your _permission_?' Hermione snorted.

'Think of this as a business proposal. I help you, you help me.'

'Okay okay.' Hermione exhaled deeply. 'What else?'

Draco stepped towards her and his hands reached forward and buried themselves into her long hair. He was gazing into her eyes and she stared back.

'This.' He whispered.

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

Harry felt ridiculous.

After having a quick shower, he walked into the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and found some black dress pants and a stiff white shirt with an emerald green tie lying on top of the covers on the bed. Pansy left him a note on top too, in her neat writing it said: '_Wear this or else_'. He grudgingly put them on, he was still too tired from the lack of sleep and he couldn't be bothered fighting with her. He felt stupid wearing something this formal in his own house. He was about to make a knot in his tie when Pansy floated into the bedroom wearing a deep pink and purple floral dress; looking as immaculate as ever.

'Very nice, the tie compliments your eyes.' She murmured in approval. 'Let me help you with that.'

Her long fingers deftly tied a perfect Windsor knot under his collar. She also went to the dresser and added a small dollop of gel into her hands and she skilfully tamed his dark hair before pulling a box out of one of the carrier bags, removed the bottle of cologne from its case and dabbed a few spots to his neck and shirt. Pansy stood back and admired her handiwork.

'I look and smell like a male prostitute.' He complained.

'Well you'll definitely get a lot of customers.' She agreed. 'Now, remember, call my mother 'Madam' and my father 'Sir'.'

Harry was about to open his mouth to protest when the doorbell rang loudly, Pansy's face broke into a smile and she grabbed his upper arm.

'Let's go meet my parents!'

'Oh joy.' Replied Harry dully.

'Father.' His wife greeted a tall, tanned man with cropped dark hair with a kiss on the cheek and she turned to the handsome woman standing beside him, Pansy kissed her mother as well. 'Mother, I'm so glad to see you again.'

'Pansy dear, you look as lovely asever, doesn't she, Sylvester?' the woman said. Harry was shocked to see a smile on her haughty handsome face.

'Indeed.' Rumbled her father.

'Thank you.' beamed Pansy and she looked up and down her mother. 'You're wearing one of my designs!'

'I only wear the best.' replied her mother with so much confidence in her voice, she obviously thought it was true.

Pansy let go of her hand and stepped back beside Harry who stood silently during this entire family reunion meeting. Her father's eyes lazily drifted over to his new son-in-law as if noticing him for the first time in _his_ house.

'You must be Mr Harry Potter.'

'Pleasure to meet you.' said Harry brazenly, not letting some man intimidate him. Pansy nudged him hard in the ribs and Harry coughed out the extra, 'Sir!'

Before she could dig him in the side again, he nodded at his mother-in-law and said politely, 'And you too, Madam.'

'Follow me into the living room,' Pansy said to her parents, 'and Harry will take your coats.'

'_I will_?' repeated Harry.

'_Yes_.' She confirmed through gritted teeth, she took their coats and pushed it into Harry's arms before turning back. 'Would you like something to drink? Father, I bought your favourite wine.'

She deliberately barged into Harry when she walked back into the hallway, and she helped him thread the arms of her mother's fur coat into the coat hanger.

'Why didn't you tell me your basic etiquettes were so shit?' she hissed. 'If I had known, I would have made you do a dress rehearsal this morning!'

'Well no one told me your parents were such stuck up pricks!' he angrily muttered back.

Pansy finished hanging her father's coat and she turned him around and pushed him towards the living room.

'We'll discuss this later! I'm going to sort out the drinks and appetizers? _Where_ are the Weasleys? Never mind I'll find out! In the mean time, go make yourself look good to my parents.'

She marched straight into the kitchen and Harry eyed the open living room door, he could hear the rumble of her father's deep voice and suddenly his stomach was uneasy.

oOo

_Designer Clothing Store, London_

As soon as the words 'This' left his lips, his hands quickly started moving and he mussed up her hair, piling it on top of her head and twisting it when his fingers, it left her looking as if she had been-

'You look like you've been shagged.' Draco said, satisfied, his hand reached out and unpopped the first couple of buttons on the front of her dress, exposing the swells of her breasts.

'Do you mind?' she demanded, she reached to fix the buttons but he slapped her hand away, he pulled out a lipstick from his pocket and gave it to her.

'Apply it.' He ordered.

'Where did you get this?' she asked, she took off the cap and painted her pouted lips carefully in the mirror.

'From the counter. Now look at me.' He answered shortly. When she turned round to face him, his large thumb smeared her lips. He cut off her when she began to protest. 'Now kiss me.'

'WHAT!' she hissed, pulling her face away from his hand.

'Role-play.' He reminded her, he pointed to his lips. 'Right here. Mind you, I don't want to do this either. The sooner they think we're in love, they sooner they'll become bored and leave us alone.'

Hermione pulled a face, she really didn't want to do this. He looked away and she leaned in and gave him a quite peck on the lips; it immediately stained his lips dark pink.

'Now here.' He pointed to the edge of his mouth.

'What?'

'Just do it, Granger.'

'First name?'

'Kiss me already, _Hermione_! For fuck's sake.'

He made her add a few more to his cheek and a couple scattered over his neck for effect. When he was satisfied with his look in the full-length mirror, he roughened up his blonde hair and grabbed her hand, they both flinched when their palms made contact.

'This feels wrong.' She mumbled.

'It _is_ wrong.' He agreed and dragged her out of the cubicle.

Their appearances must have looked pretty convincing for all the assistants gasped simultaneously, Draco pulled Hermione to the counter to pay for their purchases and have them deliver it to the Manor.

'Erm...excuse me, miss, your...' trailed off the young woman, she pointed at Hermione's open collar.

'Oh...' blushed Hermione, and she immediately buttoned up her dress.

'Stop staring ladies.' Said Draco and then his trademark smirked slowly crept onto his lips. 'Yes...I got her bucked!'

'Mal-DRACO!' Hermione punched him on the arm. She pulled his credit card out of the reader when the transaction was complete and she dragged him towards the doors; blushing furiously.

'Your receipt, sir!'

'Did you hear, Hermione dear? My receipt!'

'You don't need it.' She grumbled.

'My wife says I don't need it! I think she's annoyed with me for that crude comment. I better make things better.' Draco called when Hermione reached the door handle and just before, she opened the door and pulled him through he yelled mischievously: 'Fine fine! We finally _consummated_ our marriage in your shop!'

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

Harry sat on his favourite armchair uncomfortably as the two Parkinsons, his father-in-law and his mother-in-law, sat opposite on the sofa watching his every move. Harry cleared his throat and smile awkwardly, they had been sitting in silence for the past ten minutes, he glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece again, Pansy clearly wasn't returning until he redeemed himself.

'So-' he began to break the ice.

'So why do you think you're good enough for our daughter?' asked the mother icily.

'Selma, let's not frighten the poor boy.' murmured the father, Harry flinched at the 'poor boy' part and he felt anger boil inside him; he was a man! Sylvester cleared his throat and clasped his hands together, he bore his dark eyes steadily into Harry's which he returned back just as boldly.

'I find your manners a trifle...lacking...you've yet to prove me you're a capable man. Tell me, have you ever done anything impressive or worth mentioning in your entire life?' Sylvester asked slowly, his tone was rude and Harry found his patronising attitude very offensive.

'Very good question, sir,' replied Harry, he paused and mocked thinking deeply then he snapped his fingers. 'Ah yes...I DEFEATED VOLDEMORT, IS THAT IMPRESSIVE ENOUGH FOR YOU?'

'Adequate.' shrugged Selma.

Harry let his jaw drop, he was completely gobsmacked.

'Do you even _know_ who Voldemort is?' he asked in disbelief.

'Harry, stop terrorizing my parents and being rude! The Weasleys just arrived.' Pansy chided as she walked into the living room and a familiar pair followed behind her, she handed her parents their drinks.

'Mr Weasley, Mrs Weasley.' greeted Harry with relief, he leaned in to kiss the woman on the cheek and he shook her husband's hand.

'Good to see you, Harry, thank you for inviting us for dinner.' smiled Mrs Weasley and she thanked Pansy when she took their coats from them.

'May I introduce Pansy's parents? Sylvester and Selma Parkinson.'

'Respect! I prefer you to address me as 'Sir' and my wife as 'Madam', boy!' boomed Sylvester.

At that point, Harry seriously considered telling him to stick his wand up where the sun never shines but he held back, he was not going to be rude in front of his own surrogate parents.

Lunch proceeded with no arguments or any disagreements, Pansy was the perfect host, she ensured her parents were well attended to and they chatted normally to her daughter (ignoring their son-in-law successively) and she got on surprisingly well with the Weasleys; particularly with Mrs Weasley as Pansy praised and idolised the older woman of her talent at knitting.

'I saw some of the pieces you knitted for Harry for those Christmases during Hogwarts. Your technique is really fantastic! I would love it if you could give me a few tips for my own designs?' enthused Pansy.

'A lovely sweet girl you've raised, Mrs Parkinson.' Praised Mrs Weasley to the other woman. The mother-in-law managed a smile and Mrs Weasley gave his designer wife a few trade secrets.

'Mr Weasley.' Whispered Harry as soon as Sylvester's attention was directed towards his wife, they were muttering about something so Harry used this opportunity to ask his surrogate father if he had any news about Hermione.

'I haven't heard from her but she told Ginny she was fine. Why don't you owl her?'

'I already have, over ten times now since yesterday, I think she's still mad about me accusing her of cheating.'

'Maybe she just needs to calm down, you know what her temper's like.'

'I-'

'Harry, can you pass me the bowl of haricot verts?' asked Pansy sweetly.

Harry sighed and adjusted his tie, it wasn't tie tightly but it still felt like his airway was restricted and he felt like he was choking. He saw that Sylvester gave him a dirty look, he looked to the Weasleys for support but they were both charmed by his new wife.

Could he do this for one year? This was one question he kept asking himself.

oOo

'This is a nice restaurant.' commented Hermione. Her hair was smooth again, they both fixed their appearances as soon as they climbed into their private car. She swirled her white wine around the crystal glass and took a sip of the sweet, refreshing liquid.

Draco matched her action and drank deeply from his large glass of red wine. They were sitting outside on the decking as it was beautiful crisp day but they were not alone. A waiter appeared with their appetizers on delicate china-ware and just when the man started serving them, Draco opened his mouth to speak.

'I've booked the next two weeks off work for the honeymoon I planned for...' he paused and looked meaningfully at her and Hermione nodded quietly as she sipped her wine again, 'for you. We're going to Japan, I got a nice little cottage near the mountains springs there.'

'That's nice.' She murmured, she sat back to let the waiter lay her napkin across her lap. When the man left, she looked at her husband who pulled the prawn cocktail towards him. 'Are we actually going?'

'We might as well, adds to the little drama we're doing.' He said, he speared the juicy prawns onto the fork and lifted the fork to her mouth.

'I don't like prawns.'

'Tough crap, eat it.'

'You made me change my wardrobe but you can't force me to eat something I don't like!' she hissed lowly, she grabbed her own starter which was chicken Caesar salad.

Draco suddenly stepped on her foot hard and when she opened her mouth in a perfect 'O' in shock, he fed the fork into her mouth and pushed up, letting the prawns slip off the cutlery.

'I 'ate oo.' She tried to say darkly, she swallowed the seafood and pulled a face. 'I hate you.'

'I never asked to be fed spicy foods and be made to drink vinegar either!' he countered.

Hermione shrugged. They sat in silence after; there was just the sound of chatter from the people around them and the clatter of plates, glasses and cutlery. He finished his seafood cocktail first and watched her finish her appetizer.

'What do you think those two are up to?' Hermione wondered aloud.

'I hope Pansy's giving him hell. Thank god we need a PortKey to get over to Northern Ireland, otherwise this world would have been short of a certain Scarhead this morning if I could apparate there .' Said Draco quite seriously.

'Why?' she demanded.

'I'm guessing the Ministry put that "sleeping in the same bed" rule on them too, the thought of him in bed with _my_ woman makes my blood boil.' Draco murmured quietly but he couldn't quite keep the angry out of his voice.

'I'm sure Harry feels the same.' Hermione said defensively.

'Has he contacted you since yesterday?' asked Draco slyly.

'No...he hasn't actually.'

Hermione had just realised that she hadn't heard from him since she walked out of the hospital and this sudden realisation hurt her. Yes, she was very angry with him for accusing her for being unfaithful but she still would have forgiven him if he grovelled or persisted with his apologies.

'Maybe he doesn't want a psycho like you.' Her blonde husband said nastily.

'That's not true!' Hermione said, but she wasn't confident then she narrowed her eyes. 'How do you know he hadn't contacted me?'

'A guess.' Shrugged Draco. 'I didn't see you receive any owls since I got back to the Manor from St Mungos.'

'Did you see him leave the hospital?'

'No, your precious Scarhead thought it would be funny to have the Healer knock me cold for a few good hours.'

'Do you know the name of the Healer? I want to send them flowers!'

'Yes, I think their initials were F Y.' Said Draco sarcastically. 'For "Fuck You".'

oOo

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**_A/N _**

**_I would like to make a very important point! I mentioned it the last chapter that a reader was unsure of my plans for this story...THIS REVIEW WAS NOT A FLAME!_**

**_I feel like I needed to say this because I feel really bad for making it sound like that when the reader made a very good point! I'm sure some of you felt the same way as they did!_**

**_Hopefully I haven't teased you that much between the so-called 'flirting' between Hermione and Draco. I'm sorry guys but they aren't really flirting and yes, you've got it! They still really hate each other. In this chapter, hopefully, you can see that the roles seems reversed now. In this chapter, I was trying to make you see that now Draco and Hermione seem like the couple who are most likely to fall in love first compared to Harry and Pansy who are very tense in this chapter!_**

**_YOUR REVIEW RESPONSES ARE IMMENSE! I did not expect almost 10 extra reviews!_**

**Next Chapter:**

**Harry isn't pleased to read the newspaper this morning- what were they doing?**

**Hermione is a little upset...why hasn't Harry contacted her yet?**

**Pansy meets Harry's friends for the first time...and Harry meets up with super sexy hunk, Bernando again!**

**Draco's been a very bad boy!  
**

* * *

**_KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK GUYS AND_**

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW**


	10. Chapitre 10 Le Dejeuner Catastrophique!

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

* * *

**Chapitre Dix - Le Dejeuner Catastrophique**

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

'Wake up!'

Pansy stirred and without moving a muscle, her lips barely moved. 'Shut it, Boy Wonder, I'm sleeping.'

'So was I.'

'What's stopping you...go back to sleep then...'

'I'm awake now.'

'Potter.' She groaned, she snuggled against her pillow comfortably. 'Leave then.'

'I can't because you're lying on top of me.'

Pansy screamed so loud, he was surprised that she didn't crack the windows, he was glad he reinforced the windows magically otherwise the neighbours would have thought that someone had just been murdured. She flung her arm off him and leapt off his body, she was so shocked and ashamed of herself, she did one thing immediately without thinking, as if it would solve all her problems and embarrassment.

She leant forward and shoved him off the bed.

'What was THAT for!' demanded Harry as he fell face first into the floor. He was glad she placed a huge furry rug around the bed but it still gave him a friction burn on his lower jaw.

'I don't know.' She admitted sheepishly.

'I'm totally the victim here. I woke up and you were all over me.' He said annoyed, picking himself off the ground and rubbing his tender jaw. He was telling the truth because when he woke up, he was instantly not too happy to find his wife pressed up to him with her leg wrapped around his, her toe brushing against his ankle, her hand possessively on the crook of his neck and her soft lips pressed against his arm.

'I hope you kept your hands to yourself!' she said, she still felt a bit sheepish.

'You're the last person to say that because you molested me first!'

Pansy narrowed her eyes then flipped her hair back over her shoulder. 'Never had a complaint before about my molesting.'

'Haha...you? Ugh.' Harry said nastily, wrinkling his nose.

Then the name-calling match began as they started screaming every rude, derogatory name they could think of.

'If you weren't a girl, I would have punched you in the face five times half an hour ago.' Harry growled, his fists clenched.

'Oh please.' She laughed mockingly. 'Don't be so sexist. Come on, Boy Wonder, let it all out. I don't think you can even throw a punch.'

'Oh please, don't be so stupid.' He mocked her back in an imperfect imitation of her feminine voice. 'I'm one of the best Aurors.'

'Let's have a match then. No wands allowed.'

'You aren't serious! I'm not going to hit you!'

'Fine, no hits. Whoever can throw the other off the bed will have to do as the winner says for one full day.'

'That sounds good.' grinned Harry. 'Prepare to be my slave, precious.'

'Prepare to be **mine**.' she bared her teeth at him.

They assembled on the bed; their feet sinking into the soft duvet as they struggled to stand still, Pansy dived towards him without warning. She expected to throw him off guard but she did _not_ expect his posture to be so still, she slammed off his hard chest and nearly fell back onto her bum. Harry, on the other hand, watched her bemusedly as she threw her weight against him. His hands instinctively grabbed hold of her waist to catch her fall, her hands gripped his forearms in response to steady herself.

'I want to win fair and square!' she hissed.

'Okay.' he nodded and he let go of her and she landed on her backside. Next he was on top of her and he proceeded to shove her off the bed but she grabbed his arms desperately.

'I am much stronger than you! Let go! You're not going to win-' he shouted triumphantly.

Suddenly Pansy stuck her bare foot on his face, her toes squashing his nose and Harry reacted violently, he let go off her and grabbed her foot.

'That's disgusting, Parkinson!' he yelled.

'You didn't say we couldn't play dirty!' she screamed back, consciously aware he was holding her foot. He realised this as well and began to tickle her foot causing her to groan and thrash on the bed as she tried to yank her leg back. 'Stop it! I _hate_ being tickled!'

Harry took this chance during her moment of weakness to throw her off the bed again, he had his arm wrapped around her waist and he dragged her towards the edge. He was surprised at how strong she was and she certainly was putting up a good fight for she threaded her fingers through his dark hair and pulled hard.

'Ouch!'

'You try to throw me off and I will ensure that you will be bald in a few seconds!'

He tickled her sides again with his free hand and she started to giggle uncontrollably.

'STOP IT!'

'OWW! FUCK!'

She sank her teeth into his shoulder and bit hard but he refused to let go of her, he tried to stroke her sides again but the giggles only made her bite even harder.

'GET OFF ME YOU CARNIVORE!'

'MMFFHH OOO!' Pansy's voice was muffled then she screamed.

Harry could taste her strawberry flavoured showergel off her skin when he bit her right shoulder; it was hard because she was so skinny he could feel the hard bone between his teeth.

'Ow ow! Get off!' she muttered through her clenched teeth, she was back to biting his shoulder again.

'You first!'

'_You first!_'

They both struggled on the bed with their jaws locked on the other's shoulder.

The answer machine suddenly beeped.

'Hi, Harry, it's the lads here...been ringing you but no one's picking up. We're just confirming we can make lunch today. Why didn't you tell me you got married? So good of your new wife to invite us round...but erm...I thought you were dating Hermione? Anyways we'll see you at twelve.'

A pair of green eyes and a pair of brown eyes simultaneously flickered to the clock on the wall; it said 11.35am. Immediately, Pansy released her teeth and he followed her action by unlocking his jaw.

'Oh fuck! That's twenty-five minutes until they come!' she frowned, absently rubbing her shoulder. A dark hue began to stain her delicate skin.

'Why did you invite my friends over?' he asked in an accusing tone, he pulled his shirt sleeve off his shoulder and saw the bruise already forming with its collar of little red teeth marks.

'I just did.' she said innocently, she ran her hand through her hair and began to rummage in the wardrobe for something suitable. 'Since you met my friends, I should meet yours.'

'I don't believe you!' snorted Harry. 'Besides, I had no choice to meet JP!'

'You liked Bernando though didn't you?' she pulled out a fitted skirt and turn round to give him a levelled look. Internally, she smirked because _she_ was Bernando.

'He's a lot more dead on than JP.' he shrugged. 'So why?'

'Okay okay, it doesn't hurt my reputation to have a few important business contacts, I'm lacking some in the Auror department.' confessed Pansy, she dropped the clothes on the cushioned stool beside the vanity mirror and she picked up her brush.

'I doubt the guys want to buy _girl_ clothes for themselves.' Harry said sarcastically.

'I _know _that, don't be stupid.' she glared at him. 'I invited their partners, I'm sure the girls would _love _to meet THE Pansy Parkinson. That's me assuming your colleagues aren't gay though.'

Harry sighed as he watched her return to the wardrobe, he ran a hand through his already dishevelled hair, 'I don't understand why we have to pretend. Why can't I just tell them the truth-'

'Because it's embarrassing!' she exclaimed as if he suggested something completely absurd.

'Embarassing?' he inquired skeptically.

'Yes! Must I remind you who I am? I have to take caution with every little thing I do in public because you won't believe it but one _tiny weeny_ thing can change my reputation! I'm contested against lots of other extremely competitive designers out there! They would _love _it if something bad or unfortunate happened to me! So far, I've had a pretty clean slate-'

'So we're just acting for your reputation.'

'Not necessarily, Boy Wonder, you have to think about the consequences yourself. I know you don't enjoy the limelight. I've dealt with paparazzis for a _very _long time. If someone heard that we married the wrong person and that we weren't getting on, people would constantly sympthasise with you. Do you want them always treating you as if someone had just died? I don't know about you but they would annoy the hell out of me!

'Your little fight with Draco cost a good deal of money to cover up. I can't keep paying the media to hush things up. I'm just saying we should at civil towards each other because it'll make this next year a bit easier for both of us because quite frankly, it tires me out to argue with you non-stop. Also the media crave little blips in the relationships of celebrities so if we just keep acting all loved up, they're get bored and leave us alone. They'll follow us for the next couple of months and then just realise we're just like every other normal happy couple and they'll be tired!'

'But the guys at work _know_ I've been with Hermione for ages, they're going to suspect us suddenly getting married.' debated Harry.

'Well _make up_ something, you're Harry Potter, they'll believe anything that the Boy Who Lived says. We really can't tell them because they'll tell their partners and women are natural gossipers and the word will get round!'

'Alright but they're not going to believe us. We can't act civil towards each other!'

'Of course they'll believe us, Boy Wonder, ' said Pansy brightly, she bundled the clothes she had just selected and walked to the door. 'Hurry and get changed, they're coming soon!'

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's Bungalow, Bangor_

_The Kitchen_

'Oh I can't believe I'm having lunch made by Pansy Parkinson with Pansy Parkinson!' squealed the heavily pregnant wife of one of the aurors. 'Can I have your autograph?'

'Heather, it's Pansy _Potter_.' sighed her husband. 'She's not normally like this, I think it's the hormones from the pregnancy. She was crying her eyes out when the theme tune of Spongebob started playing on TV. Wives for you, eh, Harry?'

'Yeah, _wives_.' snorted Harry, sneaking a sly look at Pansy which he got a hard stamp on the foot in return.

'At the time, I just felt an urge to cry.' shrugged Heather, spearing a cherry tomato into her open mouth.

'Husbands are so insensitive.' laughed Pansy, she looked pointedly at her own husband.

'Says you! You shoved me off the bed this morning!' said Harry lightly.

'That's because you tried to touch me!' Pansy retorted quite angrily and seriously.

The crowd around the dining table suddenly went quiet and Harry cleared his throat and Pansy bit her lip, mentally scolding herself for getting carried away.

'Erm...?' questioned Heather.

'What I meant was-' began Pansy, some serious damage control!

'What she meant was that I tried to engage in some inappropriate activities but she realised the time and that we were going to have guests soon.' finished Harry smoothly, he grinned cheekily at his wife and reached over and squeezed her hand; Pansy instinctively tried to pull it away and he held onto it tightly. 'Let's not disclose any more information about what goes on in the bedroom, precious.'

_Precious?_! thought Pansy.

Heather's giggles caused the atmosphere to lighten up and soon again, everyone was chatting amiably again.

'So how did you and Pansy meet?' asked the beautiful Spanish girlfriend of another one of Harry's colleagues.

'We met in Hogwarts.' answered Pansy honestly.

'And...?' pressed the dark-haired beauty, she looked at Harry.

'Erm...we were partnered one day in Potions class and...and I...erm... I admired how nicely... Pansy cut up her ginger roots.' responded Harry lamely.

Pansy wanted to roll her eyes, he wasn't very good at this whole lying thing, she was going to have to help him, she pushed her chair closer to his and wrapped her arm around his and leaned in to whisper loudly.

'Tell them about-' she tried to give him a hint.

'Then we had Divination straight after so we were looking at crystal balls that day, and I saw this fuzzy outline of a girl and Trelawney interpreted that I was going to fall in love with a girl with dark-hair and a bad temper. This girl was also extremely bossy to the point where she is a total bitch. Trelawney also said I was going to end up marrying her and we were going to live happily ever after! You know one of those good marriages? Where the wife doesn't completely change your entire house, like choose to cover the kitchen walls in blood, or set you off with her pervy gay bestfriend for new clothes, or make you sleep in a camp bed, or walk in on you peeing, or order a gold bath tub, or buy a fridge with a keypad lock on it, or has parents who don't think defeating Voldemort is good enough for their daughter or-' Harry rambled on.

'You've got such a wild imagination, Boy Wonder.' said Pansy affectionately, rubbing his upper arm. 'That's one of the things I _love_ about you.'

'You two are so sweet.' murmured the Spanish girlfriend. 'When's baby Harry or baby Pansy coming along?'

Harry choked on his beer after her comment and sprayed the pale yellow liquid over his wife's face and Pansy shrieked and dropped her wine glass in shock onto her lap; the red liquid stained her skirt fast.

Pansy squeezed her eyes shut and swallowed a few times to keep her temper in check before opening her eyes slowly and tried to say in the sweetest voice she could.

'Oh Boy Wonder, you're so clumsy.' she laughed daintily, her voice a few octaves higher than normal, her eyes were so tight Harry gulped in fear. Pansy dapped the excess liquid with her napkin and stood up. Heather gasped and Pansy looked down and frowned, not only did she look like she had wet herself, the wine made her cream skirt transparent and you could see the outline of the black thong she was wearing.

'Sorry.' muttered Harry, averting his gaze and realised all his male colleagues were staring openly at his wife's lower half.

'It's alright dear, accidents happen. Please continue your lunch everyone, I'm going to go fix myself up.' Pansy's smile was strained, she left the kitchen swiftly.

'Harry.' whispered one of the Aurors as soon as she made her exit. 'What happened with Hermione? Why are you suddenly married to Pansy?'

Harry swallowed and put down his fork, forcing himself to look at their confused faces. 'Me and Hermione have been having a few issues. She's too busy with her work and so am I.'

'But you were so good together. I never saw you two argue.' insisted his friend.

'Well...we did. I rather not talk about it.' said Harry.

'If you're sure...Pansy is great though. She's very friendly and she's beautiful.' agreed the auror.

'Hey! Girlfriend here!' joked his Spanish girlfriend then she smiled at Harry. 'Yes, Alan's right, Pansy is gorgeous.'

'You know I only see you.' flirted her boyfriend and he kissed her cheek. 'Harry, I'm going to use your bathroom.'

Harry nodded and he began to engage a conversation with his fellow colleagues. It wasn't long until he heard a piercing scream.

'What was that?' yelped Heather, placing her hand protectively over her bump.

'Don't worry. Nothing's wrong.' soothed her husband quickly.

'I'll go see what happened.' said Harry quickly. 'Pansy probably saw a spider or something.'

He bounded up the stairs quickly and heard Pansy screaming and cursing. Red jets of light richoted off the wall and Harry dodged another spell.

'You perv!' she yelled.

'What's going on?' shouted Harry.

'Harry, mate! Help me! Your wife's trying to kill me!' yelped his friend.

'Pansy stop the curses! Are you _trying _to kill someone here?' yelled Harry.

Immediately, curses stopped flying out of the bedroom door. Harry stepped onto the landing cautiously and saw his friend cowering behind the hallway table. He saw Pansy emerge in the bedroom doorway with a dressing gown tied tightly at her waist.

'What's going on?' demanded Harry.

'HE!' Pansy stabbed her finger in the direction of the man still crouched in the hallway. 'He walked into the bedroom and I was _naked_.'

'Oh.' he said.

'Mate, I totally didn't mean to. I had no idea where your bathroom was! I didn't mean to walk in on your wife. Fuck, I'm so sorry!' his friend turned bright red with shame.

'It's alright.' shrugged Harry, he didn't want his friend feeling guilty over something that wasn't his fault.

'WHAT?' screeched Pansy so loudly, the two men had to cover their ears. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S ALRIGHT?'

'Yeah, Harry! I saw _your_ wife naked! Aren't you the slightest bit annoyed?' asked his friend stunned.

'You didn't do it on purpose.' justified Harry, frowning.

His friend stared at him incredously. 'Harry, if you saw my girlfriend naked, intentional or unintentional, I would have knocked your teeth in!'

'Uh...' stammered Harry, he wasn't sure what to do.

'Harry Potter, you are not sleeping in the bedroom until you have my dignity back!' screamed Pansy and she slammed the door shut.

'Whoops.' muttered his friend. 'What now?'

'Look, mate, I'm not going to punch you. It's enough having your wife going all psycho on you!'

'I don't wanna get hit anyway.'

'Alright, I think lunch is over. Can you sort everyone out?'

'Yes.' agreed his friend, he walked to the top of the stairs but before he descended them, he turned round as he remembered something. 'Oh I know you probably don't want to know but...did you read the newspaper this morning?'

'No, why?'

'Erm...maybe once you get Pansy sorted out, you might want to take a look...it might upset you though.'

'Fine.'

'Sorry about that, Harry, I seriously didn't mean to!'

oOo

First a small, barely noticeable tremor rippled through his palms, his nostrils flared gently as he eyes darted across each sentence quickly. One minute later, the ripples began to vibrate the long digits extended from both palms, the temperature seemed to rise suddenly and his throat was dry. After two minutes, his hands began to shake uncontrollably as his emerald green eyes flickered back to the grey photo in the newspaper he was holding.

Pansy ignored him and turned over a page of the thick glossy fashion magazine she was poring over, she paused briefly to take a delicate sip from her china cup with her little finger poised out elegantly, she stretched her long legs under the table; relishing the feel of the soft pale pink silk slip over her tanned lower limbs.

The couple had been sitting in silence for the past half hour, quietly finishing off the lunch that was abandoned earlier. His friend had left as Harry advised.

Finally Pansy spoke up, but only because she was curious as to what was infuriating the green-eyed wizard.

'The moving pictures giving you an epileptic fit, Boy Wonder?'

'Have you seen the front page of the _Daily Prophet?_'

'No.' shrugged Pansy. 'My PA is very much in tune with my interests so she compiles all the main articles for me in advance, I haven't got round to reading today's, been so busy with that disastrous lunch. Why? Am I on the front page or something?'

'Not quite.' said Harry dryly and he thrust the page under her nose, she snatched it from his hand and smoothed out the creases. Her dark eyes were immediately drawn to the photograph and her mouth fell open.

'_FRISKY MALFOYS LEAVE DESIGNER SHOP HAND IN HAND' _screamed across the top of the page and the moving picture of Hermione pulling Draco hurriedly out of the shop, her hair was wild and tousled, her lips were smeared and there was a perfect view of the kiss marks over his pale neck.

'The newly wedded young Malfoy couple leave a top designer shop mussed-they seem to be having a bit of fun inside the cubicles...news has it that Draco Malfoy made the shop close for a couple of hours just for them...he leaves the shop with a smirk on his face and she is blushing wildly...' whispered Pansy, her voice getting louder and louder as she read out parts of the article, when she started to read the shop assistant's statement her voice was so high pitched, Harry couldn't help but wince. '_One of the shop assistant, Claire stated that Mr Malfoy told her that he and his wife had yet to consummate their marriage and upon leaving the shop, he loudly announced that they has just done that in the shop!'_

Pansy's eyes were wild when she looked up at her husband, her hand crushed the newspaper in her hand.

'Do you think it's true?'

Harry bit his lip. 'I don't know...Hermione's not a very good actress, she looks...quite genuine in that photo.'

'Don't you want to know what's going on?' asked Pansy, her eyes narrowing as she detected hesitation in his voice.

'I don't know.' he muttered, his eyes lowered onto his lap.

'What is going on, Boy Wonder?' she demanded irritably.

'She's mad with me. Things have been awkward since that incident in the cafe.'

'Awkward? You think this article is true then?'

'No no...I don't know what to think. I mean I know Hermione is very loyal but I don't want to accuse her of cheating. I already did that about the whole pregnant thing, I don't want her to think I don't trust her.'

'What?' cried Pansy in disbelief, she flung the crumpled newspaper at him, it landed on the table near him. She pointed to the picture. 'Explain this then!'

'I can't.' answered Harry honestly. 'Look, I don't know what's going on, I trust Hermione explicitly, I'm sure she will tell me what's going on whenever she wants to. I need some time alone...I'll be in the bedroom.'

He got up and took their plates to the sink and dumped them inside, he turned on the taps and watched the colourless stream splash off the saucers for a while then he twisted them off and left the kitchen; leaving her stunned.

Pansy shook her head in disbelief and sat down in her seat, she reached over for the article again and she read the front page carefully again, her manicured finger underlying each printed word, in hope that there was a clue that suggested the article was not true. She read it five more times before finally slumping back against the hard back of the chair and she raked her hands through her silky locks. She got up and turned on the coffee machine, fetching a new clean cup from the cupboard, she tapped her finger against the bottom of the chinaware as the machine whirled and buzzed. Her eyes were unfocussed as she pushed the button to eject the dark frothy liquid into her cup. It was only until the hot liquid overfilled and spilt over her fingers and scorched her skin, she snapped out of her trance and cursed. Pansy set aside the half full cup and mopped up the mess; she added milk to her coffee and sipped on it, pondering deeply. It was only until when she had finished her hot drink and when the cup grew cold in her hands, she suddenly had a plan.

oOo

Harry lay back on the carefully made bed with his eyes closed but he did not sleep, too many thoughts ran through his head. It was quiet downstairs, he thought by now he would hear Pansy screaming, destroying the kitchen or yelling down the phone to Draco Malfoy but it was completely silent downstairs...which was unusual.

He rose and descended the stairs for a glass of water; he hoped she wasn't in the kitchen because he didn't really want to see her. Seeing her face was a reminder of his huge predicament which only happened last week. What he did not expect was to see a different but familiar face.

The tall man turned round quickly to face him, those dark eyes speckled with gold looked shocked to see him. He was wearing a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal pale toned arms and he was at the sink washing up their plates from earlier.

'Bernando?' called Harry uncertain.

'Uhh...yes...that is me...hello Potter.' Bernando looked a bit uncomfortable.

'Call me Harry.' corrected Harry then he looked at him, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. 'What are you doing?'

'Uhh...' Bernando coughed, he looked around quickly and saw that he was holding a washcloth in his large man hands. 'I'm washing the dishes...'

'There's no need to be so kind, we can do them ourselves.' said Harry dismissively. 'No, I meant what are you doing _here_?'

'Uh...Pansy needed someone to talk to... she was quite upset.'

'Where is she?'

'She's talking on the phone to JP outside.' said the tall man quickly when Harry went to leave the kitchen.

'Can't she talk inside?' asked Harry skeptically.

'Bad signal.'

'Bad signal?' Harry folded his arms and narrowed his eyes.

'Yeah...some stupid network she's using. No reception at all.'

'Bernando, why are you getting so flustered?' asked Harry directly.

Bernando sighed, and put the wet dish on the rack.

'Okay, I admit, I came here because...' he began.

'Because...?' Harry raised his eyebrows.

'Because I'm in love with her.' he blurted in his deep gravelly voice. _Okay damage control._ 'Don't tell her, it hurts me to see her upset.'

'I thought you were gay?' said Harry in disbelief.

'I'm not.' he said plainly. 'She's ringing me, I have to go, I'm going to take her out to clear her mind.'

Pansy bounded for the front door and ran down the street and turned around the corner before apparating immediately. She nearly blew her cover! Pansy examined her appearance in the window of a lone alleyway; she needed to use a glamour charm for this mission. She needed to find out the truth about the magazine and this Bernando cover was going to help her find it without attracting the paparazzi.

oOo

_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

'Have you SEEN this?' demanded Hermione, bursting into his study, she waved (what he assumed to be) a newspaper in her clenched fist.

'Yes I have.' he said calmly not looking up from his documents, he laid down his quill and returned her murderous look. 'How did you get into my office? I locked it with very strong magic.'

'I'm Hermione Granger.' she said impatiently as if her answer explained everything. 'What is the public going to think when they read this?'

'I'm assuming the _Daily Prophet_'s aim is to make them think we had sex in the shop.' he said patronisingly.

'I know that!' she snapped.

'You're quite the actress, dear, you were _blushing_?'

'Yes I was mortified, you told the girls we had sex!'

'I thought we already agreed on this.'

'I'm an honest person, Malfoy; I'm the 'What you see is what you get' type. I don't like pretending!'

'Well you're going to have to pretend!' he retorted. 'There's one thing that will never happen in this entire universe and that is that a Malfoy will never be humiliated! I will _not_ stand for it! Do you understand that I will be a laughing stock if people found out I married the wrong person? Besides they'll never believe us if we told them there was a mix up. I mean, when does that ever happen? They much sooner believe that two enemies can fall in love than the groom married the wrong bride! Might as well just save us the humiliation if no one is going to believe us!'

'Don't you think it's a bit pathetic that we have to pretend for your sake-'

Suddenly Draco held up a pale hand and he reached inside his trousers pockets.

'Hold your train of thought for one second.' he told her as he looked at his mobile. 'It's one of my regular clients.'

'Hello? Yes...speaking...oh thank you...'

Hermione tapped her foot impatiently and she waved at him to get his attention, she was not done with this conversation. After ten minutes, she balled up the newspaper and aimed it at his head but it landed nowhere near his desk. Draco rolled his eyes and swivelled his chair around so that the back was facing her. Next thing he knew he was swung back forcefully round to face her again, she was standing in front of the desk now, her wand pointing straight between his eyes.

'I'm...not...pretending...anymore...I'm sick...of...it...I'm going to tell...everyone the truth.' she mouthed.

'What that Mr Grimmel?' he said loudly, Hermione lowered her wand and stamped her foot in frustration. 'You want to make a donation to my wife's research as a belated wedding present?'

'Tell him I don't want his stinking money.' she hissed.

'Hold on sir, I need to consult my lovely wife.' said Draco sweetly, he put the call on hold and narrowed his eyes. 'What is your problem?'

'What is my problem he asks!' laughed Hermione fakely. 'I don't WANT to pretend ANYMORE!'

'Don't you want his donation? It's very generous of him.'

'You're not bribing me with money.' she said stubbornly.

'He's offering ten thousand galleons-' said Draco.

'I SAID I DON'T WANT HIS STINKING MONEY!' she shouted, she folded her arms and turned her back to him, huffing.

'Hello Mr Grimmel, it's Draco again. My wife says it's very generous of you but-'

Hermione breathed heavily through her mouth, she was so pissed off. What was he thinking that she would accept ten thou-

_TEN THOUSAND GALLEONS? _Her brain screamed as she processed the numerous zeros in the donation.

'Wait!' yelled Hermione, she flung herself across his desk and knocked the phone off his ear.

'I accept.' she said breathlessly.

'Sorry about that there sir, the house dog decided to fling itself onto me. What did you say? Oh my wife was just screaming "wait" because the house elf was taking away her sixth helping of chocolate cake. But anyways I thank you on her behalf for the donation, it is very much appreciated.'

'Wow...ten thousand galleons...that's the most generous donation we've had.' said Hermione dazed, she sat down in one of the armchairs. 'The pureblood wizards are the wealthiest but they don't usually support the care of magical creatures because they don't think they deserve help.'

'So we still game? You play along and your little research project goes further, I can help you, I'm a very influential man.' smirked Draco.

Hermione chewed on her lip; she was stuck on what to do. She wasn't comfortable with not being able to express herself but if she continued to get offered such donations like this, she could expand the research group and more magical creatures could be helped.

'Fine.' she agreed grudgingly. 'But I'm not happy about it. What is Harry going to think of that article?'

'Well he hasn't knocked down the Manor yet, trying to find an explanation.'

'He hasn't contacted me yet.' Hermione confessed quietly. 'I think he's mad with me. Or maybe he doesn't care about me anymore.'

'I'm not your agony aunt, I don't want to listen to your worries and problems.' said Draco nastily. 'Please leave my study, I've got a lot of work to do.'

Hermione fled at once- in tears.

oOo

Hermione did not come down for dinner. Draco relished a quiet dinner with a glass of red wine but after finishing his medium rare steak, he sent a house elf to ask if she wanted dinner brought up to her but Trilby returned and reported that Hermione wouldn't even let the house elf inside the master bedroom. Draco sighed and told the elf to prepare a chicken Caesar salad to bring up for her anyway. He downed the rest of his wine and wiped his mouth with his napkin before making his way up to their room.

He didn't bother knocking so he reached for the door handle and twisted it. To his surprise, the door didn't budge.

'Granger, have you locked the door?' called Draco annoyed.

'Go away.' Her voice was muffled, like she had been crying.

_Still?_ thought Draco exasperated, _Women, all they do is cry!_

'No.' he replied. 'This is my bedroom!'

'Fuck off.' she swore. He was quite shocked, Hermione Granger never swore properly.

'Open the door now or I will hex this door open.' Draco threatened.

He heard her sigh and there was a release of springs as she slid off the bed, he could hear the soft padding of her slippers and then she opened the door. She looked awful, her eyes were still puffy and red.

'You look terrible!' he remarked.

'Sod off.' she scowled and she drew the hood of her jumper over her messy head. She stalked back to dressing table and dabbed some make up remover onto a cotton pad; removing the tear/make up mottled stains under her eyes.

'Why are you crying?' he asked, he placed his dressing gown over his shoulder and fetched some boxers from his drawer.

'I'm crying because I'm so lucky to be married to the most wonderful man on earth.' she said tonelessly, she chucked the used cotton pad into the bin but she missed.

'Can I have that in writing? I want to frame what you just said.'

Hermione ignored him and narrowed her eyes, she pointed her wand at the pad on the floor and tried to levitate it into the bin but she was so agitated she couldn't even hover it a few centimetres off the ground. Draco sighed and bent down to pick it and he tossed it into the bin.

'What are you doing!' Hermione shrieked loudly. 'I didn't ask for your help! Put it back on the floor!'

'Geez, Granger, I'm only trying to help.' he retorted.

'Put...it...back...on...the...floor.' she said dangerously.

'No.' he lifted his chin up defiantly.

Hermione aimed her wand at him and her eyes glinted darkly, Draco squared his shoulders and walked purposefully towards the tip of her wand.

'Do it.' he dared her.

Hermione's face faltered but of course, it was only a feint for suddenly she started to smile.

'L-'

Draco panicked as the tip of her wand began to glow, he pushed her onto the bed and knocked her aim so that a huge red curse ricocheted off the ceiling.

'Fuck! Are you _trying_ to kill me?' he yelled as he pinned her down onto the covers.

'You gave me your permission! I couldn't refuse such an offer!' she snarled back then she spat in his face.

'Ohh you little-' growled Draco and he grabbed her glass of water from the table and poured it over her face.

'You did _not _just do that-'

'HERMIONE?'

The pair stopped struggling as Harry's voice sounded throughout the room. They both looked at the door first then to the doors at the balcony then they both manage to locate the source of the noise; Harry's head was in the fireplace, nestled among in the glowing coals.

'Potter?' asked Draco confusedly.

Harry frowned as he took in what he saw, his former enemy was straddling his ex-fiance on the bed.

'Harry!' screamed Hermione, struggling and trying to toss the wet hair that was plastered to her face. 'He made me all wet!'

'WHAT?' demanded Harry. 'Hermione, what is going on? The newspaper? Why haven't you been contacting me?'

'I have!' shouted Hermione, she finally loosened Draco's grip and she shoved him off her. 'I sent you lots of owls and you didn't bother replying.'

'I didn't get any of your owls and I sent you loads too. Seems like I don't need to reply anymore...' Harry trailed off and looked meaningfully at her and her husband. 'You seem to have a new interest. How could you do this to me?

His sad voice stabbed at Hermione's heart, she swallowed dryly and hers whelmed up with tears. 'It's not what you think, Harry.'

'Sorry to interrupt.' said Harry apologetically. 'Hermione, I'll send your stuff to you later.'

'No!' she screamed, she dived in front of the fireplace but Harry's head disappeared. Hermione couldn't hold back the sob anymore and she burst into fresh tears.

'Uh...Granger?'

'Leave me alone!' she sobbed loudly, she got up from the floor and pulled back the covers, she crawled into bed and buried her face into the pillow; her cries shaking her body.

Draco took her advice and left for a shower. He had to return of course or neither of them would get any sleep. When he finished drying his hair, he tied his dressing gown around his waist and walked into the bedroom expecting her to be fast asleep but she was still sobbing.

Awkwardly, he joined her in bed and scooted towards the edge of his side of the bed. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep but she kept crying and crying. A couple of hours later with her incessant weeping, he was sleep-deprived and he had enough of her silly behaviour.

'Granger, will you stop crying?' he grumbled.

'Go away.' she cried.

'Don't you think I would have done that hours ago if I could?'

'Leave me alone, I want to cry.'

'No, you're going to stop _now_.'

Hermione obeyed reluctantly and reduced her loud sobs to persistent sniffles, she started hiccupping as well and Draco groaned.

'He said...I didn't...contact him but I did...and he said he sent me...owls...too.' she mumbled.

'Maybe he's lying.' said Draco tiredly.

'Harry doesn't lie!' she said fiercely.

'Okay.' he responded but then suddenly the bedside lights were on and he winced, he squeezed his eyes shut then slowly opened them to adjust them to the light, he felt her sit up beside him.

'There's something strange going on!' she said hoarsely.

'Can't you decipher this in the morning?' he pleaded.

'I'm Hermione Granger.' she said simply. 'I never go to bed with a problem unsolved!'

Draco ignored her and yanked the covers over his head but then she started talking out her thoughts aloud.

'I did definitely send him letters and Harry definitely sent his because he would be seeking for forgiveness for accusing me to be pregnant with your baby. But then where did the letters go? I sent him so many, they can't all be lost! Where? WHERE?'

'Alright alright!' snapped Draco, he flung back the covers and looked wearily at her. 'I intercepted all the mail.'

He never saw someone's expression change so much in such a short time. She looked sad, her face still tear stained, she looked speechless, she looked surprised, she looked very shocked, she looked angry, then she looked sad again then her face had indescribable fury written all over it.

He ignored her last look and patted his pillow brightly. 'Now that's solved, let's get back to sleep!'

He tried to lie back onto his pillow but she yanked it from under his head, her look was murderous and she pinched his forearm very hard.

'OW! What was that for you crazy woman?'

'You are NOT going to sleep! Why did you stop our mail?' she demanded, and she pinched him again.

'Ow! STOP IT!' he slapped her hand away but she glared at him for an answer, he held his hands up defensively. 'Role play?'

'What do you mean _role play_?'

'It was all too easy to intercept your owls, can you imagine how easy it is for a trained reporter to do it too? I didn't read them but your love letters can totally blow our cover!'

'Too far!' Hermione cried and she reached over to pinch him again. 'Too far! You should have asked me first!'

'Like you were going to say yes!' he snorted.

'What about you and Pansy, how do _you_ communicate?'

'Well telephones, emails and other communication devices can be easily hacked and intercepted so I send her anonymous flowers. She knows what each flower represents.'

'At least she still loves you! Because of your stupid plan, Harry's not talking to me anymore.' she sniffed angrily.

'I wouldn't cry if Potter stopped talking to _me_.' said Draco, she tried to pinch him again but he slapped her hand away. 'I'm sure he'll understand if you explain it to him.'

'How? If I fly over to see him, how do I know you won't bomb my plane or burn my ticket?'

'You're a smart witch, you figure it out. But do tell me what you're going to do so I can approve of it. Because if the public catch you, we're screwed. You know how the wizarding world views adultery, whether the couple in question are cute together or not! Also think of your magical creatures, what would they do without your research group?'

'Are you threatening me, Draco Malfoy?' demanded Hermione.

'No, I'm telling you the truth. I'm in this as deep as you are. And so are Potter and Pansy. We all are.' Draco said seriously.

oOo

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_**A/N Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I had university exams to do :( But now I'm back.**_

_**For all you Draco/Hermione shippers, you may not be very pleased that this chapter was longer for Harry/Pansy than your favourite couple. I am trying to progress the story a bit faster, make the couples fall out faster! I decided that it may have been very confusing alternating between Harry/Pansy and Draco/Hermione so therefore I wrote all of Harry/Pansy first then Draco/Hermione. Is this easier to follow or would you prefer the old format?**_

_**Also there's going to be a twist and a bit of puzzle going on, so put on your Sherlock Holmes Caps and unlock the mystery that's about to unravel!**_

**NEXT CHAPTER:**

**Pansy sets out as Bernando to solve the newspaper authenticity, but what's this? Someone's stalking her? Don't die, Pansy!  
**

**Hermione is about to set off with Draco for their honeymoon trip to Japan, Harry sees her before she goes.  
**

_**

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Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter! Now that I'm off for summer (yay!), I should be able to update faster but only if YOU do your bit!**_

**_So REVIEW!

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_**


	11. Chapitre 11 Les Arguments

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

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**Chapitre Onze- Les Arguments  
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*****WARNING* Time: The next scene is after Pansy (concealed as Bernando) rushes out of the house after an awkward conversation with Harry in the kitchen. Harry hasn't floo'd Hermione yet so he hasn't seen Draco straddling Hermione yet. So we're going back in time...I'll put an extra note later when we're back in present time.  
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_Leaky Cauldron, London_

Pansy's PortKey landed her in the back alleyway of the famous pub. As she straightened her tall form and brushed off the imaginary lint from her smart shirt, she sniffed the stale beer air disdainfully and walked into the pub through the back entrance.

It was quiet, only a few regulars lounging at the bar with their heads lolling about their folded arms but they did not pay attention to the handsome well dressed man who just walked in. Pansy wrinkled her nose when she smelt their drink mingled with their offensive body odour. She sat at one of the empty tables near the corner (the one furthest away from the old wizard with bright green greasy hair and a skull shaped tankard with orange fumes wafting lazily from the top), shook her head when one of the bar man asked for her order and sat down to begin her business.

She had a plan...sort of, well she didn't really formulate a proper plan but she thought the first step in getting the truth was getting to London immediately. Now she was here, she had no idea what to pulled out a reporter's notebook from her back pocket and a well sharpened pencil to jot down her ideas, she also laid down the article down beside her pencil. The cutting was started to be severely creased for she perused it so many times. Changing her mind, she ordered a butterbeer while she mulled over her thoughts then she ordered another one half an hour later and another an hour later... She decided that it must have been due to the sluggish lighting in the pub that she couldn't think straight. She had been here for well over two hours and she only had two ideas.

She suppose she could go immediately to find Draco but she wasn't even sure where he was, she hated how they couldn't contact each other directly. She suppose it was for the best, they both had very important businesses to tend to and they worked so hard to remain elite; there were also so many other competitors! It was only last month that they found out one of Pansy's rival fashion designers had hired someone to dig up some 'dirt' on her because they caught a stranger rifling through her underwear drawer one time when they returned early from a restaurant. Needless to say Draco was not pleased at all! The couple agreed that if they loved each other so much, they could do this for each other.

Pansy tapped her temple as she thought of an alternative way; she could contact the reporter who wrote the article but that would involve using a good amount of money and bribery. She automatically went for her handbag then realised that she didn't have one, she mentally scolded herself for losing her composure for a short moment, she was Bernando! She doubled checked that her glamour charm was still working and arranged her physique until she was acting a bit more male-like. She patted her pocket for her wallet and sighed with relief.

The lanky green haired wizard suddenly sniffed and made a disgusting noise, she looked up and felt unnerved when the man was staring at her blearily. Pansy stood up immediately, the feeling of her wand pressed against her palm made her feel slightly better. She left through the back entrance again and felt the man mimic her actions and follow her through the door. Thankfully, Bernando's legs were longer than her own and she was glad for his strides were longer as she quickened her pace through the alleyway. It was late afternoon, the sun was still shining but the tall walls of the buildings overshadowed the cluttered alleyway. The footsteps that followed her suddenly stopped, she couldn't hear him behind her anymore and Pansy relaxed considerably, maybe she was just feeling suspicious and paranoid because she _herself_ was acting suspicious. She stopped near the big grey bins that belonged to a small restaurant and removed her phone from her back pocket, she needed to make a call to find out where the reporter lived. She covered the screen with her hand as she peered at the numbers when suddenly a pair of hands wrapped around her neck from behind and squeezed, Pansy gasped as she wheezed for breath but the attacker tightened their grip and pulled her body towards theirs. Her mind was whirling as her oxygen was slowly depleted, she strained her eyes open to see that last shred of blue sky one last time, she could still feel the cold metal of her phone in her hand and she frantically stabbed at the call button.

'Back! Leak...leak...back...cauld!' she choked. She hoped that the whoever the person she rang last would answer and hear her dying plea and find her body...if she didn't make it.

When it all became too much and her body finally gave up, she heard the manly growl of her attacker and she crumbled to the ground.

oOo

_Back alleyway of Leaky Cauldron_

_*Harry's point of view*  
_

'Wake up man!'

The pale man with dark hair lay rigidly on the cold ground, one of his hands was lying on his chest and the other fell open by his side. His phone was still in his open palm. Harry repeated his words in the man's ear again but he still did not respond. His first aid skills kicked in and he started to shake the man's shoulders but there was no reply either. Desperately, he slapped Bernando across the face.

'Fuck sake, wake up, Bernando!' pleaded Harry.

Suddenly the hand on his chest twitched but Harry wasn't sure. He was relieved when Bernando began to flex his fingers as he regained his conscience.

Blearily those dark eyes speckled with gold slowly opened, he peered through the slits of his eyes to look up onto the man crouched over him with an anxious look on his handsome face, he had been running his hand through his dark hair because it was messier than usual and when he finally gazed into the emerald eyes of Harry Potter, he burst into sobs of relief. Bernando sat up quickly and flung his arms around Harry's neck, he tightened her grip and Harry gasped.

'Not too tight, Bernando.' choked Harry. The dark haired man that clung to him suddenly let go and looked embrassed, Harry was surprised to see him cry because Bernando seemed like a very macho man.

'I'm sorry!' Bernando's voice was already deep but because his throat hurt, it came out rather hoarse.

'What happened?' asked Harry, helping Bernando to his feet.

'I...' Bernando paused, should he tell him someone just tried to strangle him? Harry was an Auror though and he would look further into this and then he'd find out that Bernando was actually his wife...but Pansy wanted to find out who tried to kill her. 'I don't know, I think someone tried to rob me.'

'Has anything been stolen?' asked the green eyes wizard, getting business-like.

Bernando checked his pockets, the wand, his wallet and reporters pad was still in his pockets.

'What did the attacker look like? Man or woman?' Harry interrogated.

'I think he was a man...' said Bernando vaguely. 'I don't remember much to be honest...'

'Try to think, it's very important we find out the person.' urged Harry.

'Potter, I was panicking. Look, nothing was stolen, let's just forget it. I'll be careful from now on.'

'I told you to stop all this "Potter" crap.' sighed the auror, he looked once over the other man, checking for any injuries but he did not see any signs. Due to Pansy's glamour charm, the bruises on her neck were concealed. 'Are you sure you don't want to find out this man? He needs to be stopped if he's robbing other people.'

'I seriously don't remember much, so it'll be hard to find him. I'm sure you have plenty of things to do than to find one measly thief.' said Bernando quickly, he absently started to rub his neck.

'You alright?'

'Yes I'm fine, how did you find me?' said Bernando quickly.

'I was about to ask you.' said Harry, his face was confused. 'You rang me with Pansy's phone.'

_Shit_...thought Bernando.

'Bernando?'

'Uhh...Pansy left her phone in my car when we went for a drive.' Bernando lied.

'Is she back home then?' asked Harry.

'I guess so, she took a PortKey back home an hour ago.' said the other man smoothly, he mentally kicked himself for the hole he had just dug up. 'What are _you _doing around in London?'

'I needed to talk to someone...found out some bad news earlier...I went straight to London to find my friend Ron Weasley, do you know him?'

'Red head? I know of the Weasleys.'

'He wasn't around...' said Harry uncomfortably. 'Hey Bernando, do you want to go for a few drinks, not a lot of people know about the wedding mix-up. I need to talk to someone.'

'Harry...' said Bernando uncertainly, his neck was killing him but Harry looked desperately at him. 'Fine, let's go, anywhere but Leaky Cauldron.'

oOo

_Another bar in London_

'Did you read the newspaper article today?' questioned Harry miserably as he chugged down his butterbeer.

'Of course I did.' sighed Bernando. 'That's why I came to collect Pansy, she was upset remember?'

'Oh yeah...' remembered Harry. 'Do you think it's true?'

'I don't know.' answered the other man honestly. 'Why don't you ask Hermione?'

'She can't exactly meet me in public because of the media and stuff...and I know if I see Malfoy, I will punch his face whether the article is true or not! Remember the cafe incident, well after the hospital Hermione was raging with me because I accused her of cheating on me.'

'As if Draco would go for her anyways.' snorted Bernando.

'What's that supposed to mean?' demanded Harry.

'Uhh...' stuttered Bernando, he took a long drink from his glass as he tried to think of damage control. 'I meant...uh...why don't you ask Hermione anyways without accusing her?'

'I suppose that's the only way right? But I don't want to see Malfoy's face.'

'What's wrong with Malfoy's face?' asked Bernando defensively, even Harry looked quizzically at him.

'What?' asked the auror blankly.

'Use the floo, ask her that way.'

'I've tried that before, she's never in the Manor.'

'Try again, you might be lucky.'

'I will do actually, Thanks Bernando.'

'No problem.' said the man and he checked his watch. 'Is that the time? Sorry I have to go meet JP about...some business matters.'

'That's fine. Are you sure you don't want to chase up on this attacker of yours?'

'Nah...he didn't take anything and I'm not hurt in any way. Well I'll best be going, see you around, Potter.'

'Harry.'

'Fine, bye Harry!'

oOo

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***WARNING* Time: Harry follows Bernando's advice and manages to get hold of Hermione through the Floo network and finds her and Draco in a compromisingly position. The next scene is when Pansy gets back from getting drinks with Harry while posing as Bernando.  


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_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

When Pansy returned back to their house, it was already dark outside, it took her forever to get the earliest PortKey back home. She put a clean cup under the coffee machine and switched it on before trailing upstairs, she was exhausted and her throat still ached from being strangled earlier. She stripped off her clothes in the bedroom and hid the male clothes she wore as Bernando deep to the back of her wardrobe, not that Harry would look inside but just in case.

She grabbed her nightdress and walked in her underwear to the bathroom. She winced as she pulled the cord of the light and stood in front of the mirror. Bernando stared back at her in the reflection, his handsome face did not reveal how tired she really was. His eyes were bright and mysterious but she already knew her usually glimmering eyes were probably dull due to fatigue. Raising her wand, she tapped twice on top of her head and Bernando's body disappeared slowly and her own body replaced his. Pansy gasped and dropped her wand into the sink, huge bruises appeared on both sides of her neck, big nasty dark purple and green marks tainted her delicate skin. And she had thought that the bruise that Harry gave her on her shoulder from earlier this morning was worse. Her attacker was definitely a man because the marks left from each finger tip was massive so they could only be done by large man hands. She touched one of them gingerly and winced, tears sprang to her eyes and she had to bite her lip to stop crying out in pain.

Pansy dragged her feet over to the bathtub and turned on the taps for a bath to relax herself, she removed her underwear and added some bath salts to the running water to distract herself. She tested the water with her finger and stepped inside the tub, emerging herself slowly into the hot water until her face was above the water, even her ears were buried under the water and she listened carefully to the strange noises vibrated in the water. She sighed with relief and relished the soothing warmth of the water on the bruises on her neck.

Suddenly she felt frightened, she was alone in the house(she assumed that Harry had not returned yet), she huddled quickly into the water and some water splashed onto her face. She was so surprised, she began to cry softly. The horrible incident from earlier had started to hit her, she nearly died! And Draco had no idea, if he knew, he would be here at once holding her and protecting her! Or would he? She scolded herself, she should believe his fidelity and she should know better than anyone not to believe the folly of newspapers who often wrote lies in their articles. However there was a seed of doubt sown in the back of her mind, surely Draco had seen the article himself, why did he not send her flowers to reassure her that it was not true?

'Sorry...'

This bad habit of theirs on walking in on each other in the bathroom had to stop! Pansy was so shocked, she sank further into the water and spluttered as she swallowed some bath water. She sat up immediately and wiped back the wet strands of hair that plastered to her face and she blushed furiously as he stared at her in all her glory.

'Quit staring, Boy Wonder, it's rude.' she snapped hoarsely.

'What happened to you?' whispered Harry.

Pansy mistaken his whisper of shock for desire and she glared at him. 'I went through a stage called puberty at the age of 13 and I grew boobs. I've been having my periods ever since too. Need to know more?'

'What?' asked Harry in disbelief then he sighed. 'I'm not looking at your chest, I'm looking at your neck! What happened?'

'Nothing.' she said shortly and she sank once more further into the water to hide the bruises.

'You've got bruises...someone tried to strangle you.' His tone was almost accusing.

'I haven't been strangled.' she said simply, even though she had to croak her words. 'Get out, I'm having a bath.'

'Let me look.' he said and he stepped towards her.

'No, Potter! Get out!'

'Fine, I'm taking a look later.' said Harry firmly and he left the bathroom.

Pansy cursed herself for being so careless and laid back watching the ceiling.

How was she going to explain it all?

oOo

_Bedroom_

He was lying on the bed when she walked in, Pansy left her dressing gown on the stool in front of her vanity desk before slipping quickly under the covers and turning her back against him.

'Let me see.' he said gently.

Pansy sighed and sat up, she knew he wasn't going to give in. He knelt in front of her and with utmost tenderness, he gently lifted her chin up and peered around her neck.

'Stop covering them. They were worse than this earlier.' he sighed, he lifted his wand off the bedside table and removed her charm. Immediately the bruises on her neck flushed darker and Harry gasped. 'Who did this?'

'I got into a fight.' shrugged Pansy.

'And...?'

'And...? Nothing happened.'

'Did they get arrested?'

'No, I forgave them.'

'Pansy, you got strangled! You can't just forgive someone for doing that!'

'Well I have a big heart and I did.'

'Who did it?'

'I'm not going to tell you. Everything's been settled, stop asking questions.'

'This is very serious, Pansy, the bruises are really bad, I can try to heal them but we should go to St Mungos.'

'You do it then, I don't want to go to St Mungos!'

Harry sighed and pressed the tip of his wand to each mark and muttered an incantation, he couldn't get rid of the bruises completely but they faded considerably.

'It's not like you to not broadcast it everywhere that you got strangled. Did you tell Malfoy?'

'No I haven't told him, best not to worry him.' shrugged Pansy. 'I didn't broadcast it because I'm a business woman and I don't like to seem weak.'

'You didn't ask to be strangled!'

'I've got a lot to deal with at the moment, I don't have time to punish this person. Like I said, it's been sorted out.'

'You people are funny.' commented Harry. 'I saw Bernando earlier.'

'Oh?' Pansy feigned interest.

'Someone tried to rob him. I found him lying the alleyway passed out.'

'Is he alright?' asked Pansy immediately, she tried not to cringe inside, she was such a good actress!

'He's fine. We even went for drinks after. He didn't remember what the thief looked like and he doesn't want to chase this person down.'

'Strange.' She commented. 'How come you found him?'

'I was in London to visit Ron...and he rang me using your phone.'

'Oh...I must have left it with him.'

'Yes you did.' agreed Harry then he looked at her for a moment as if calculating something. 'I found out something earlier.'

Her heart beat quickened and suddenly her mouth was dry, did he work it out?

'What is it?'

'I found Draco and Hermione in bed when I floo'd them to see if Hermione was in.' said Harry slowly, gauging her reaction. 'He was straddling her; it looked like I interrupted something.'

Pansy was speechless and her hands began to shake. 'It's not true! They would never!'

'I don't know-'

A sharp tap on the window cut him off and they both stared at the large snowy owl knocking on the glass with its dark beak impatiently.

'Who could be owling at this time?' inquired Pansy as Harry reached the window and let the bird in. It flew in quickly and dropped off a large box into Harry's hands before flying off again.

'It's for you.' he said as he read the label. He passed the box to her which was surprisingly light for a such a big box.

'It's from Draco!' crowed Pansy happily as she recognised his hand writing on the label, it said '_To Pansy_'.

Harry sat closer on the bed curiously, Pansy untied the large bow swiftly and opened the flaps eagerly. She peered inside the box, she looked for a rather long time actually then she suddenly threw her head back and screamed loudly before pushing the box away and flinging herself onto her pillows sobbing hysterically.

Harry watched her confusedly, he reached for the bottom and lifted it up- a single withered rose which was originally red but now had crumpled into a blackened mess fell onto the covers with a small tag attached to its fragile stem.

'_This is the last flower I will ever send_.' read Harry.

oOo

* * *

***WARNING* Time: We are back to the present!

* * *

**_Malfoy Manor Number Two, London_

'Granger! What is your bikini doing in _my_ suitcase?' demanded Draco when he put his new boxers inside the leather case.

'There's no more room in mine for them!' she answered back from the balcony.

'You do know that where we're going is covered in snow right? You don't need them.'

'Oh.'

'I thought being the book-worm you are, you would have researched every little detail!'

'Leave me alone, I didn't bother researching okay?'

He shook his head and flung the black sequined bikini onto the bed then went back to packing his own things when he stared a blue garment inside his suitcase.

'Granger! What is your _nightie _doing in _my_ suitcase?'

'Oh it's a spare! You know just in case my suitcase goes missing, I'll have back up in yours!'

'Fucking hell-'

'My extra toiletries are also in there under your shoes, my second make up bag is on top of your shirts and-'

'You mean there's more of your things in here?'

'Stop fussing.' she chided when she walked into the bedroom, holding a tied piece of parchment in her hand. 'Are you still stopping all contact with Harry?'

'You haven't been sending him any owls.' he said slyly but when she gave him a dark look, he sighed. 'I haven't done anything since you yelled at me that night. Doesn't mean I don't check though, the truth is you _haven't_ been owling him since.'

'No I haven't.' she glared at him. 'But I've been floo'ing him, ringing him...don't give me that look. I know it can be intercepted! But I think he blocked me from his Floo network and he won't answer his phone. I even rang Ron and he said he can't get through to Harry either.'

'So now you're going to send him an Owl?' asked Draco indicating her hand with a jerk of his head.

'I know he probably won't read it, I'm thinking of sending it to Pansy.'

'To Pansy?'

'Yeah to tell him to talk to me.'

'What makes you think he'll listen to her?'

'He most likely won't. I'm desperate though, if I pester her, she'll pester him...'

'Speaking of Pansy...she hasn't talked to me in a while.' Draco narrowed his eyes.

'She hasn't? How does she normally communicate with you?'

'The silly girl sends me pens.' smiled Draco fondly. 'One click on the pen and the pen automatically writes a short message on a page for me and it self-erases after ten seconds. For my eyes only though. She conceals them as business pens, so clever.'

'Why don't you do the same instead of sending her flowers?'

'Because she loves flowers and it's much more romantic.'

'Why didn't you suggest this pen thing to me and Harry? Then Harry would still be talking to me!' said Hermione angrily.

'You're nobody to me.' responded Draco honestly. 'Why should I help your relationship? Obviously you two aren't very compatible if your relationship can be wrecked that easily. You don't trust each other.'

Hermione didn't reply, she crumbled the piece of parchment in her hand and tossed it onto the bed. She returned to the balcony and slammed the twin doors behind her. Draco rolled his eyes and summoned a house elf to bring up another suitcase to put all of Hermione's 'extra' things in.

Pansy would usually send a pen to him straight away after she received his flowers. He sent a large bouquet a few days ago to tell her how much he loved her but she didn't not respond. Draco knew how dissatisfied she could be, so he sent a bigger bouquet the day after but yet she did not reply back. Then yesterday he sent her the special flowers that he would give her every birthday and she still did not reply. Draco frowned and wondered if their secret code had been cracked by a reporter. He decided he would check it later.

His phone started to buzz on the bedside table and Draco crawled over the bed to get it, he grabbed the silver device and pressed the answer button.

'Hello?'

'Malfoy, is she there?'

'Potter?'

'Yes Malfoy, it's me.' Harry sounded irritated on the other side of the phone. 'I need to talk to her.'

'I heard you've been ignoring Granger the past few days.'

'Get her on the fucking phone, Malfoy.' snarled Harry. 'What are you, the relationship analyser?'

'I can't. What if someone taps onto this line?'

'I don't care!'

'Is that Harry on the phone?' asked Hermione breathlessly at the balcony doors, her face was tear stained, she had been crying outside.

'Here Scarhead wants to talk to you.' Draco held out the phone and Hermione accepted so eagerly, she didn't even get annoyed about his term of endearment for Harry.

'Harry?'

'Hello Hermione.'

'Why haven't you been answering my calls?'

'I needed to think, Hermione-'

'That's not an excuse!'

'Will you listen to me? I've been thinking..._lots_...the past few days. I can't find any reason to justify you for being in such a compromising position with _him_.'

'We were fighting-' explained Hermione.

'And he ended up on top of you?' Harry finished sarcastically.

'Stop it! What's wrong with you?'

'I know Malfoy's tons better looking than me, he's has a lot more money than I do and he probably showering you with all these expensive presents-'

'You know that's not true!'

'He hasn't done anything like that?'

'Well I do admit, his contacts helped my research project a lot.'

'See.' said Harry bitterly.

'You sound just like Ron! Why are you being so jealous?'

'How do I know this isn't another Ron incident?' demanded Harry.

'Harry! You promised you wouldn't bring that up again!'

'I didn't think I needed to! I didn't think I would find the woman I love in bed with another man again!'

Draco froze, even though Harry's voice was still a little fuzzy, he could hear every word he said.

'Harry...please...you know what happened. We've discussed this already. You've forgiven me already.'

'Hermione, you started acting funny. After the hospital thing, youmade _me _feel guilty and you wouldn't talk to me for days when you were actually screwing around with Mal-'

'Don't you dare accuse me again, Harry Potter!' said Hermione angrily, tears spilled from her brown eyes. 'I did send you Owls but stupid Malfoy intercepted all our mail.'

'Sure he did, Hermione, sure he did.' Harry's voice was thick too.

'HE DID!' she screamed down the phone then she paused, breathing heavily before finally looking into Draco's eyes. 'He hung up on me.'

'I'm sorry.' muttered Draco.

'You should be.' she sniffed, she swallowed hard. She sat down on the edge of the bed, defeated but Draco wondered why she wasn't sobbing her eyes out yet.

'So...this happened before?' he quizzed.

'You were listening.' she accused.

'You had my phone.' he shrugged. 'At one point, I thought it was either going to drown in tears or get smashed up by you, you were pretty angry.'

'Yes...' sighed Hermione, she laid back on the bed. 'I was with Ron before I was with Harry. I really did love Ron but sometimes he was so insensitive and he was always so jealous. Then one night, Harry made me realise I was worth much more than that and I began to fall for Harry instead because he really cared for me. I ended things with Ron and he surprisingly took things well because we were arguing all the time _ but_ he did not take it well that me and Harry were getting on so well. Too well in fact. I was sceptical of our relationship after having just come out of a bad one. I didn't know if I did love Harry or if I just wanted his love and attention. So one night whenever Harry was working a night shift, Ron came over to drop off a jumper that he borrowed off Harry and we had a bottle of wine...me and Ron were seriously just friends but I guess because we used to have a thing...and one thing lead to another. We just kissed on the bed and things nearly got carried away. I swear we never went further than kissing and even if Harry didn't come back, I don't think they would have progressed any more intimate because it actually felt wrong. It was then I knew I did love Harry and I did want him and not just the loving relationship. But Harry was furious!'

'So you didn't sleep together?' asked Draco confused.

'No! I told you we didn't! There was a lot of explaining to do. We talked and talked and we've been inseparable ever since.'

'Have you ever been away from him for long?' he suddenly asked.

'Well apart from the few odd trips away for two days or so for research matters but usually I send my staff instead.' said Hermione thoughtfully.

'See...there's your problem.' he nodded.

'The problem?'

'You didn't go away because you didn't want him to worry. Which means there is still strain in your relationship. You're scared he'll accuse you of cheating. No wonder why he so quickly accuses you.'

'You're being pretty insightful, were you a relationship analyser?'

'Funny, Potter said the same thing. I'm just telling what a stranger sees it as.'

'Will you please tell Harry there's nothing going on between us?' she begged.

'No, I don't think he'll listen.' he said simply and when she opened to her mouth to protest, he added, 'And I'm a smart man, I'm not going to let him hex my balls off. It's not a matter of whether me and you did _anything_. Because we didn't. It's the level of trust between you two. If he had any sense in that scarred head of his, he'll know we've never liked each other and we will never get it on!'

oOo

_The next morning_

_Malfoy Manor Number Two  
_

'I told him not to talk to you.' muttered Draco angrily and he glanced at Hermione. 'Can you _see_ why I intercepted your calls?'

Hermione stared wordlessly at the article in front of her. 'They' made front news _again_. '_SCANDALOUS HERMIONE GRANGER SCREWS AROUND WITH THE OTHER TWO OF THE GOLDEN TRIO AND THEIR SCHOOL ENEMY'_

'Due to a _trustworthy_ source of information, there is something strange going on between the odd newly wedded couples that we can't place at the moment. It seems that Miss Hermione Granger cannot get over her former sweetheart, Mr Harry Potter. It also appears that they having been keeping in contact but her new husband, Draco Malfoy, intercepted all their owls after discovering their affair. However this is not the first time Granger has been unfaithful! Our reporter managed to find some juicy news that she frolicked around with her former childhood sweetheart, Ron Weasley, while she was with Potter. The Boy-Who-Lived walked into the pair in bed and was devastated indeed. Grangers also admits to Potter that her husband is much desirable than he is because her research project is now blooming.' read Draco out aloud, Hermione cringed and began spooning her cereal into her mouth quickly, making a lot of noise to drown out his voice. He put the paper down and sighed. 'It seems like their line wasn't very strong.'

'How do you know?'

'They didn't mention other bits of information in the call like you ignoring him after the hospital and so on.' explained Draco, he held up his hand and took out his ringing mobile. 'Hang on...hello?'

Hermione crumbled up the newspaper and aimed it at the kitchen bin but she missed. Her own phone which was lying on top of the table started to vibrate too. It was one of her staff, Tim.

'Hello, Tim?' she answered tiredly.

'Hermione, have you read the newspaper yet?' her staff urged.

'Yes...Tim, how can I not?' she said.

'Bad news, all our sponsorships are withdrawing their input, lots of the purebloods are cancelling their donations. If we don't stop them now, we'll be officially bankrupted in two hours!'

'WHAT? Why didn't you tell me sooner?' demanded Hermione loudly, Draco looked at her questioningly. She opened her mouth to speak but he looked at her shocked.

'Yes, I understand, hang on Mr Grimmel.' Draco put his client on hold and looked at her. 'You're not going to like this but my client read the article today and he wants his donation back.'

'No!' groaned Hermione. 'I just scheduled plans for that money yesterday! I already made the transaction to pay for everything!'

Draco explained the situation to the man and Hermione could hear the loud shouting on the other side of the line.

'I'm truly sorry, I'm sorry I can't change your mind because that article is all lies. However I do respect your beliefs and I will transfer to money today by noon sharp.' said Draco in a business-like manner.

'How much do you need to keep your group going?' asked Draco as soon as he hung up.

Hermione's mouth fell open, her eyes widened and he continued to stare at her seriously, he shook his head urging her to speak.

'Well?' he said.

'Thank you Draco! Thank you!' she cried, she pushed her bowl away and the milk spilt across the table but she did not care. She rose out of her seat and threw herself onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and she kissed him soundly on the lips.

'Cut it out, Granger.' said Draco, a little dazed and surprised, he pushed her off him and she looked a bit meeked and embarrassed. 'We haven't got a lot of time, it's nearly half ten and I need to get that money to Grimmel soon. Get changed, we're going to the Gringotts.'

oOo

_Diagon Alley, London_

'Did the money go through, Tim?' demanded Hermione on the phone.

'Yes yes, it's fine. We're stable now. All thanks to your husband!'

'Mr Grimmel, I am just ringing to inform you that your money has been fully refunded to you, I hope we can do still business together...yes? That's wonderful, have a good day.'

Hermione watched him hang up, Draco slipped his phone back into his pocket and caught her gaze.

'Is there a reason why you're looking at me like a love sick puppy?' he asked, walking ahead of her.

She ran to catch up with him, 'No...I'm so...overwhelmed...you're so generous, Draco.'

'Please stop saying my name like that, I prefer the old 'Malfoy!' that was laced with venom.'

'My research group nearly fell down if it wasn't for you! My staff would have lost their jobs and you saved a lot of magical creature's lives!'

'Alright, stop it, my ears aren't used to Hermione Granger praising me. Geez, you're so easy to please.' he smirked. 'You're like butter in my hands now.'

'You gave me a lot of money.' she said pointedly. 'You didn't have to.'

'Granger, I didn't do it for you. I did it for my own rep. What would people say if Draco Malfoy didn't fund his wife's project? We're supposed to be in love remember? If I saved your company, people will believe that today's article isn't true because I wouldn't have helped you would I? If I was angry with you for cheating on me? Think of it as a second chance, if you do something fantastic with this group of yours, people might overlook today's scandal. Then my wife won't be labelled as a cheat. You need to start gaining the trust in your sponsers again, I can't support you forever.'

'If I _was_ in love with you right now, I would be telling you right now that I love you.' said Hermione.

'Please stop it, you're making me sick.' he pretended to gag. He looked at his watch. 'I know our honeymoon's for this weekend but I think we should move it forward. We've attracted to much media here, I think it will do us all good if we leave the country and let things calm down.'

'Alright.' agreed Hermione, she still felt so relieved and gratified that something as serious as her company going bankrupt could be resolved so quickly; she could say yes to anything right now! 'When do you want to leave?'

'I think we should leave tonight.' suggested Draco. 'But first, we need to visit two people.'

oOo

_Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

'Can I help you?' asked Pansy rudely as she opened the front door. A woman in her mid twenties with long blonde hair and sad expression stood before her.

'Can I come in?' spoke the strange woman.

'No...because I don't know you.' said Pansy and she tried to shut the door but the blonde woman stopped her, she looked around furtively and whispered. 'It's Hermione.'

'Gr-?' squeaked Pansy.

'Sh! Just let me in!' hissed Hermione.

Pansy stepped aside and let her inside, Hermione looked around her former home initially with a bright smile then her face fell when she couldn't recognise the unfamiliar decorations.

'I made the place a bit more homier for _me_.' explained the dark haired beauty. 'I'll pay to restore it back to the way it was after the year's up!'

'Draco wants to see you but he didn't come with me because he didn't want to fight with Harry.' said Hermione when she noticed Pansy looking longingly outside the door.

'Where is he then?' the designer asked eagerly.

'Follow this address.' Hermione instructed, she gave her a slip of parchment. 'There's reporters hiding around outside, you need to conceal yourself. Have you used a glamour charm before?'

'Of course I have.' snorted Pansy. She took the paper from Hermione and Hermione touched the top of her dark hair until she looked exactly like the blonde woman.

'Perfect.' murmured Hermione. 'Do you know where Harry is?'

'In the bedroom, I think.' answered Pansy.

'Thanks. You need to wear these clothes I'm wearing or it'll look weird that you've got changed.'

Pansy looked disdainfully at the outfit Hermione was wearing at the moment and sighed.

'I'll assume you haven't moved the bathroom to another room.' joked Hermione. 'I'll get changed.'

She had brought a change of clothes in her handbag and she gave them to Pansy who was comfortable with her body and so desperate to see Draco, she stripped off and changed in front of the other woman.

'I'll see you later.' said Pansy, flicking back her long blonde hair and she bounded out through the door.

Hermione swallowed deeply as she locked the door and ascended the stairs. Pansy was right, Harry was lying on the bed; tired and stressed but looking as perfect as usual.

'Hermione!' he said stunned.

'Harry!' she cried and she flung her bag onto the sofa.

She didn't care that this room looked different, she didn't care that the bed they made love on so many times was now in the garage because she was here and he was here. Could it only be a week since that fiasco happened? It felt like an eternity. She knew he missed her as much as she did because he thrust his tongue straight inside her mouth and he usually would introduce a tender kiss first. They grasped at each other clothes' desperately, he fondled her curves through her dress lovingly, his hands flipped back and forth from different parts of her body, he wanted to touch her all at once.

oOo

Pansy and Draco didn't even bother speaking when she entered the room. She didn't even knock on the door, he had recognised the pattern of the padding of her feet, her hand had barely touched the door handle when he yanked it open and pulled her in. She gasped in surprise as he pinned her to the door and his hand immediately slipped under her tasteless blouse touching her perfect breasts.

'I want to see you, Pansy.' he managed to murmur when he detached hi mouth from hers unwillingly. Pansy obeyed immediately and removed the glamour charm. She was taller than the woman Hermione charmed her to be so the clothes strained against her skin but it drove Draco wild. Now he could see every pore of her and he wasted no time ripping off the taut material and worshipping her tanned body with his tongue and teeth.

oOo

Harry deepened the kiss and Hermione moan turned him so much, he had to bite down on her bottom lip to calm himself down, he drew blood because he could taste the metallic taste in his mouth, he tried to unbutton her dress but his hands were shaking so much with want and desire, he yanked her clothing apart instead. He crowed with delight when he saw her perfect mounds of breasts that he loved so much. He stroked down her flat stomach and Hermione quivered.

oOo

They finally made it to the bed and they successfully removed all their clothes. Pansy looked down up shyly at Draco as if it was their first time making loving together. Draco pressed his fingers to her lush lips and she parted her lips, he swirled his fingers inside her moist mouth and pulled them back out, trailing his wet fingers down between the valley of her breasts and lead them over her toned stomach and drove his fingers deep inside her pleasure centre.

'Draco...' she murmured.

oOo

Hermione wouldn't stop thrashing on the bed as Harry's long fingers continued to stroke inside her; deeply and quickly. Harry's other free hand was tantalisingly teasing her hard nipple until she was begging him for more, he ignored her pleas and continued to play her like an instrument, his fingers forming an escalating symphony inside her as he strummed her wet walls and his fingers drummed a beat as he pinched and swirled her nipple. Finally he replaced his fingers and took her nipple between his teeth.

'Harry...' she moaned.

oOo

He couldn't hold it back anymore, he needed to be inside her..._now_. He could taste her desire on his wet fingers, he parted her legs and lifted them around his waist, he stroked the inside of her wet thighs...just to be sure she really was here. Swiftly, he buried himself inside her and he nestled his face in the wealth of her hair, inhaling her scent and gasping for air as their hips started to move together.

No more media, no more wedding mix up, no more annoying husband and wives.

Just him and her.

oOo

_Hotel_

'Baby.' murmured Draco as he stroked Pansy's bare back after their passionate love making.

'Hm?' she mumbled, relishing the moment.

'Why haven't you been replying to my flowers?'

'Draco, that's rich, don't play dumb.'

'I'm not! You stopped sending the pens!'

'Pansy I've been sending you flowers every day, didn't you get them?'

'No.' she said blankly. 'I got the last ones a few days ago...'

'Did you not like it?'

'No! What kind of question is that? I hated it! It was really hurtful of you to send them!' she snapped then she suddenly got off and slid of the bed. 'I don't even know why I just slept with you, after you being so horrible to me!'

'What?' he said.

'You don't just ditch me and then pick me back up whenever you want to, Draco Malfoy!'

'I never ditched you, Pansy!'

'I heard from my PA that you were funding Granger's stupid little research project.' Pansy said darkly as she mended her clothes with her wand.

'I did.' answered Draco simply, he wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

'Why?'

'Because one of my clients gave her a very generous donation as a wedding gift and now he wants it back because he said he wasn't donating to the...and I quote 'Scandulous wife' of mine. It was a lot of money and she had already processed the money, I didn't want to lose his business so I paid him back.'

'No, Draco, you misheard me, I said why did you pay for her business so that she didn't go bankrupt?'

'Because if I didn't help her, I would seem like a selfish husband-'

'I notice you keep referring to her as your wife and you, her husband. Quite intimate eh? You've accepted that your married.'

'But we are married, Pansy.'

'I haven't accepted Potter as _my_ husband!'

'Pansy, you're blowing this out of proportion!'

'I am not!'

'Yes you are! You're jealous! You're trying to blame me for everything!'

'Well it could well be your fault!' she screamed.

'If we have to point any fingers, it's _your _bloody fault then, Mrs Potter!' he said spitefully. 'It was _you_ who wanted a fucking Chinese wedding, all this shit about covering the face. The whole point of having a lace veil is that you can see the bride! If it wasn't for your genius idea of a wedding, there might not be a fucking mix up!'

Pansy said nothing but her bottom lip quivered as she finally buttoned up the last button on her blouse with her shaking hands, large fat tears rolled down her cheeks.

'Oh shit, Pansy...I'm sorry...I didn't mean any of that.' Draco's chest suddenly felt tight, he had just hurt his girl.

'Don't touch me.' she gasped for breath as she tried to hold her sobs back.

'I'm so sorry, baby, please-' said Draco, anguished.

'I'm leaving.' announced Pansy, she picked up her coat.

'Pansy! We're just havinga hiccup in our relationship, this whole mess is affecting and putting strain on us! We're strong, we can get through-'

'I slept with Harry.' confessed Pansy.

Draco stared blankly at her, he let go of her arm. It was a while before he could speak. 'What...'

'I'm sorry.' she apologised.

'Was it a mistake?' he begged her with his eyes. _Tell me you're lying or it was a drunken mistake? _He pleaded in his mind.

'No, I wanted him as much as he wanted me.' she said coldly.

He sat down on the bed and rubbed his face, he always did that whenever he was stressed or upset. It ached Pansy to see him like this.

'Goodbye, Draco. Maybe we can see where we stand after one year.' she suggested. He did no respond so she took this cue to leave.

But before her hand touched the lock on the door, he spoke, 'I'm leaving for Japan tonight, I'm going with Hermione for our honeymoon.'

Wordlessly, Pansy drew her wand and used the glamour charm before unlocking the door and leaving the hotel room. It was only until she was safely in the lift and the doors drew shut, she collapsed to the floor and cried her eyes out as the lift descended silently to reception.

oOo

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

After their lovemaking, it was only for a few seconds they both fell back gasping for breath when Hermione suddenly sat up, shaking her head.

'You okay, love?' asked Harry, he ran his fingers along her spine and she shivered.

'We shouldn't have done that.' answered Hermione immediately. She got up and pulled her dress back on, frowning when she was missing some buttons and she went on her knees to look for them.

'What?' asked Harry in disbelief.

'I came to talk to you, not to end up in bed with you.' Hermione sighed, she stood back up with the buttons in one hand and she fixed them with her wand. 'I don't mean that making loving just there wasn't good because it was amazing.'

'Well what's wrong then?'

'Harry.' she frowned. 'Just because we're good in bed doesn't mean we're okay. We need to talk about us.'

'Okay.' he said eagerly. 'I've been thinking about us too.'

'You have?' she inquired. 'You tell me your part first then.'

'This entire thing is wrecking us but I think we can pull through this.' said Harry looking at her but she was staring at her feet.

'You see Harry, I don't.' she said finally, her eyes were glistening with tears when she met his emerald ones. 'I'm here to tell you that we can't be together. I'm ending this relationship.'

'Hermione, what are you saying? Please tell me you're lying. Is this about the whole accusing thing with Malfoy because if it is-'

'That's exactly what I'm talking about. You need to trust me. It's been years since that Ron thing and I thought you let go of that and that you've forgiven me but you clearly haven't because you still don't trust me. It's not just Malfoy, if a guy you found potentially dangerous to us, you would still act jealous like this. We've just been so good together these past few years because that "guy" hasn't turned up until recently and that's Malfoy. I realised I've been secretly holding back, I don't go on research trips because I know you would be uncomfortable. If we were really that good together, surely I can go anywhere without feeling guilty?'

'I would never have minded if you wanted to go away, Hermione. I love you and I know you wouldn't cheat on me.'

'Harry, you thought I was cheating on you with Malfoy. I mean, come on, _Malfoy_! You know better than anyone else that we dislike each other so much!'

'I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking.' pleaded Harry. 'Give me another chance.'

'I do love you Harry but we're causing unnecessary strain on each other. I think we should break up for now. If we're meant to be together...well time will tell.' shrugged Hermione.

'Stay here tonight, Hermione, I'm sure Pansy doesn't mind. And we will talk, talk through everything, I haven't talked to you in such a long time.' he begged.

'No, Harry, I'm going to Japan with Draco tonight.'

oOo

* * *

_**A/N Apologies...I don't know why the updated version of this didn't come through properly. Fear not, everything has been fixed now =)**_

_**So the couples have finally broken up! It's sad but it needs to be done! I know this chapter isn't as funny as the others but I hope you can understand why. I have a few pointers to make:**_

_**1. Some readers think the whole Bernando subplot is pointless. Please bear with me as I have plans for him, I didn't just throw him in for fun! It's going to affect Harry and Pansy's relationship and that's I'm going to say.**_

_**2. Some of you are confused about the flowers thing and why Pansy got withered flowers when Draco has only been sending her fresh flowers. Again, please bear with me and the truth will be revealed.**_

_**3. It may seem just too convenient that these two couples broke up but I like to say I'm a realist, no relationship is perfect. People do get jealous and untrustworthy so I'm basing it on that.**_

NEXT CHAPTER:

Hermione and Draco goes on their honeymoon to Japan.

Pansy thought when she was attacked last time that it was just a one off when things start to get out of hand. She's got an auror husband so why won't you tell him, girl?

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**REVIEW! Can I get up to 190 reviews?**


	12. Chapter 12 Je vais te tuer!

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

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**Chapitre Douze- Je vais te tuer!

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_On the plane to Japan_

_Boarding_

'I want to sit beside the window.'

Draco set down his brief case on the seat beside her. He pointed his folded newspaper at her and shook it in her face, 'Move it!'

'No.' answered Hermione simply, she sighed and lounged back in her padded seat, she shook out the blanket provided and tucked it neatly around her lower body and smirked as she pulled out the plane's magazine to read.

'I'm not telling you again, Gr- _dear_.' whispered Draco as woman walked past them. 'Trust me, things will get very ugly quickly if you don't move it _now_.'

'I'm scared. The only thing that's ugly is the shade your face is turning!' feinted Hermione but she did not move. 'On my boarding pass, it says that _this_ seat is _my_ seat!'

'Is there a problem here?'

The air hostess interrupted their heated argument and smiled brightly at the bickering couple. By now, most of the first class passengers were settled into their seats and were now looking over at the commotion caused by the newlyweds.

'It's nothing.' dismissed Hermione casually. 'My husband is just being an awkward pain.'

'Alright.' nodded the young woman, she turned round to the fuming blonde wizard and gestured to the seat beside Hermione. 'Do you mind taking your seat, sir? We're about to take off.'

'No.' said Draco stubbornly. 'Get her to move.'

'What?' asked the hostess confused.

'I'm not moving.' replied Hermione promptly.

'Hostess, get her another window seat.' ordered Draco.

'My name is Isabelle.' The hostess' smile quickly disappeared and she told him curtly, 'There are no more window seats on the plane, sir. Now please sit down.'

'Stop making a fool of yourself, Draco!' hissed Hermione., starting to feel embarrassed. She noticed some people were smirking at them now.

'But I always sit beside the window!' raged Draco loudly.

The entire first class cabin erupted into laughter at his outburst and a mortified Hermione scrambled out of her seat and pushed her blushing yet agitated husband into the seat beside the window. The laughter now turned into a large encore of clapping.

'Are you happy now?' demanded Hermione quietly as soon as the air hostess left them to check on other passengers. She shoved the catch of the seatbelt into the catch angrily and gave him one last dirty glare before looking straight ahead.

'Absolutely beaming.' said Draco calmly, all traces of red anger was dissolved from his face almost immediately after she pushed him into her seat; she wondered if was just a show after all and he was never angry in the first place. He looked down and said: 'Why are you poking my bum?'

'I left my blanket on your seat.' she answered shortly, she dug her fingers along the side of his thigh to find the hem of blanket. 'Move, I think you're sitting right on top of it!'

'No.' he decided to be awkward. 'Are you cold?'

'No-'

'Then you don't need it, then I don't need to move.'

The air hostesses began their usual safety demonstrations, Hermione scowled at him and sat with her arms folded, her fingers digging so deep into her forearms only meant one thing. Draco smirked, he was starting to really get under her skin. He looked out of the small oval window and realised they were already approaching the runway. The plane shuddered and he felt himself pushed back against his seat as the aircraft began to pick up speed. He heard her groan beside him, when he looked over, her eyes were shut tightly and her lips were pale and pursed.

'You're scared of flying?' asked Draco incredulously.

'I haven't flown in so long, I forgot I hate the take off the most. Once we're in air, I'm not too bad.' Hermione said in a strangled whisper. 'Don't talk to me, I'll be fine in a few minutes.'

This gave Draco an idea and it nudged his inner naughtiness. He leant over to her, so close but not touching her, his lips near her ear and shouted in a loud whisper, 'The engines are failing! We're going to crash!'

'Shut it...Mal...' grimaced Hermione, she swatted at him with her hands but he continued to attack her with taunts of disaster and catastrophe.

'Look! The oxygen masks are down-'

'Fuck off Malfoy!' Her face was starting to turn a pleasant shade of green.

'-but should we use them? Oh-'

'I'm...gonna...kill...'

'-nooooo! There's no point because-'

'...you!'

'WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!' Draco whispered loudly in her ear triumphantly.

Hermione screamed and clawed at her seatbelt desperately, her eyes were still squeezed shut. Isabelle, the air hostess from earlier, was by her side in seconds with a concerned look on her face.

'Are you alright, miss?'

'WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!' shrieked Hermione, struggling to get out of her seat.

Her statement caused a ripple of fear throughout the first class cabin, other passengers began to question and repeat her words.

'Did she say crash?'

'What? Crash? We're going to crash?'

'Noooo, I'm too young to die!'

'Will everyone please be calm! We're not going to crash!' shouted Isabelle over the panicking passengers, she tried to calm an elderly man who was shaking his fist at her and trying to get up, when she managed to settle him down, she returned to Hermione and she could _swear_ that she saw Draco smirking but when she blinked again, his face was composed neutrally.

Hermione had finally opened her eyes, she looked hysterical, her fingers had finally worked the clasp and she shot up onto her feet and she swayed giddily.

'No no! Please sit down! Please, miss! We're still in the midst of taking off!' begged the poor hostess.

Hermione complied obediently and tried to lower herself onto her seat but the plane jolted and she fell sideways and landed face first onto Draco's chest.

'Jeez woman, steady your-' he complained but he didn't get to finish his sentence for his dear wife suddenly threw up on him. Unluckily for him, he could feel the warm liquid trickle through his open neck shirt and down his chest.

'Granger!' he winced.

She looked up at him blearily and she threw up again. This time, he was quick to turn his face so that it only hit him on the cheek and neck, imagine if he hadn't turned his head to the side...

It was Draco's turn to squeeze his eyes shut. Tightly. This was _not_ happening to him, he was supposed to be on this honeymoon with _Pansy_! Now he was here with his former school enemy lying on top of him with her vomit covering his body like sun cream.

'Oh dear, sir. I know you're in a mess right now, but I can't help you clean up until we're safely in air. I promise as soon as the captain deems it safe, I will attend to you at once!' he heard Isabelle say.

But the young woman helped him put Hermione back into her seat, Draco opened his eyes to watch his ailing wife as the hostess buckled her up, Hermione only had a smear of vomit on her chin!

He closed his eyes again, trying to focus on the rumble of the plane to distract him from the awful stench coming from his shirt. He also tried not to move too much, he didn't want the vomit going into _other_ places.

'I'm...sorry...' Hermione's whisper was almost inaudible over the loud humming of the aircraft.

'You should be.' he retorted furiously. _Great_...he thought, he shouldn't have moved, now he felt the waistband of his boxers wet.

oOo

'Thank goodness, I brought spare clothes with me.' sighed Draco when he returned to his seat.

Hermione opened her mouth to speak but she stopped and cocked her head to one side, examining him and she frowned.

'What?' he asked rudely.

'Did you...?' she questioned, pausing and she leaned towards him and sniffed. 'Did you just have a shower?'

'Of course I did, I had to wash my hair. So I showered as well, I never do those two things separately. Mind you I almost flooded that tiny plane toilet but I put a few charms to stop the water leaking out.' he said matter-of-factly.

Hermione stared at him, stunned. She opened her mouth to say some more but he held up his hand.

'When speaking to me, don't look at me. And if you have to look at me, do not do so for more than two seconds, I don't want you throwing up on me again.'

'Earlier was completely your fault. You were taunting me, I told you not talk to me and you started to agitate me!'

'I told you! Don't look at me when you're speaking to me!' he insisted, he suddenly wrinkled his nose. 'Go brush your teeth, you stink.'

Hermione looked shocked and hurriedly covered her mouth, she snatched her hand luggage and fished out her bag of toiletries before rushing to the toilet.

When she returned, she noticed that dinner was served, all the passengers in the first class cabin were now settled down and tucking into their tray of hot food. Hermione noticed that she had a similar tray resting on the pull-out table in front of her recliner and she was not entirely surprised when she peeled back the metal foil of her main course that her husband was out to get her.

The big fat juicy prawns glistened in their bed of white sauce and an assortment of fresh vegetables. Hermione put down the metal cover and sighed loudly, she looked pointedly at Draco.

'Are you done with your silly games yet?' she asked.

'What?' said Draco, wide-eyed with innocence. 'Don't I deserve a gold sticker for being the most thoughtful husband ever? Look, I ordered for you when you weren't here. I didn't want my dear wife, you, to go starving now. Even though you do need to lose a few pounds.'

He dropped his eyes to her flat stomach but she folded her arms across them uncertainly anyways.

'You know I don't like prawns, Draco Malfoy.'

'Is that so, Hermione Malfoy?'

'I only told you a few days ago at the restaurant! And you forced me to eat them!' she whispered loudly, she paused briefly then added. 'Draco Malfoy!'

'I seem to have forgotten, my dear Hermione Malfoy.'

'It's Hermione _Granger_. I don't want to share your filthy surname.'

'That's not what it says on our marriage certificates, Mrs Hermione Malfoy!' he sang then he took a deep drink of his wine.

'Get my meal changed or else.' she threatened.

'No.' he said stubbornly, he had the same meal as her, he speared a prawn onto his fork and popped it into his mouth. Without swallowing, he said in a muffled voice: 'Shan't.'

'Get...my...meal...changed...now...'

He swallowed and raised his eyebrow at her. 'Or what?'

'Oh...I don't know...I may just _throw up on you again_!' she dared.

At once, Draco Malfoy called for assistance and abruptly changed the meal of Mrs Hermione Malfoy.

The rest of the flight was surprisingly uneventful and even peaceful because despite the over-dosing on smelly products, he could still smell the linger scent of her vomit on his skin.

oOo

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

'Let me see.'

Harry motioned her to come towards him but she stayed rooted to the spot with her hands on her hips.

'Why? It's _fine_, Boy Wonder.' she whined exasperatedly.

'Did your Healer come round today?'

'Yes.' she sighed.

'You are the worst liar ever. You should never try to lie to an Auror.' chastised Harry, he held out his hand towards her and curled his fingers. 'Come here.'

'Why do you need to see? She's already looked at it, I swear.' she insisted. 'It's much better, she said!'

'Just let me look at it, Pansy. We can go on all night but you know that I know that you have lied.'

Pansy shook her head, annoyed. She tied her hair back and walked over to where he was, mumbling under her breath.

Harry unfolded his arms and turned the light onto a higher brightness then he sighed.

'You've concealed them.' he accused.

'No, I didn't hide them today. The Healer did some sort of crazy spell and they vanished!' she retorted.

Harry waved his hand over her neck and muttered an incantation, slowly dark purplish bruises marred the delicate skin on her neck. He took a sharp intake of breath and gently brushed a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. Pansy shivered slightly and she folded her arms immediately, she stared ahead defiantly. Then he placed his fingertips ever so delicately on the ugly marks and watched her face the entire time to see if she was wincing. Pansy was quite the actress but Harry still noticed her eyes tightened slightly at his touch.

'Okay, I cancelled the Healer's visit today because my shoot ran overtime then I completely forgot about it afterwards. You have no idea how busy the life of a fashion designer is! Everything runs on real-time, I can't afford ten minutes out of schedule to go see a Healer about some stupid bruises.' she confessed, she shrugged off his hands from her neck but Harry held her still by placing his hand on her slender shoulder.

'Fine, I'm not an expert but I can deal with minor bruises, I'm sure I can sort this out.' sighed Harry. 'Hold still.'

'EXPELLIARMUS!' reacted Pansy whipping out her wand and she caught Harry's in her other hand.

'What the fuck, Parkinson?' exclaimed Harry.

'Whoaaa!' said Pansy shocked, holding both wands in front of her as if to defend herself. 'I'm not letting you perform any spells on me!'

'I've used this spell loads of times!' he said incredulously, he looked almost nervously at her hands. 'Will you _please_ put both wands down! And give me mine back!'

'You take me for a fool.' Pansy narrowed her eyes.

'Seriously, Pansy, _seriously_?' he laughed in disbelief. 'You're being totally unreasonable. I'm not going to kill you. Don't you think I would have done that ages ago if I wanted? There was so many opportunities when I could have killed you!'

'But you can kill me.' she countered.

'Well...yes. I'm an Auror, I'm trained to kill.' he answered matter-of-factly. 'And...I'm trained to do this!'

Within a flash, he darted forward and managed to catch her off guard by knocking both wands out of her hands, he tackled her unceremoniously to the floor.

'Ow...' she groaned then her eyes widened in shock. 'I can't move!'

'Of course you can, you can move your mouth. I've just paralysed the rest of your body that's all.' he grinned.

'You are such a dick.' she said venomously. 'Unfreeze me now!'

'Not until I sort out your bruises.' he taunted.

'I think you gave me some new ones.' she moaned. 'My back is killing me.'

'I can check that out too if you want.' he said suggestively.

Pansy didn't say anything but opted to glare at him with her most dirtiest look instead. He brushed her hair back and she shrieked.

'Don't brush it back like that! I don't suit middle parting!' she yelped.

'No one's here to see you.' he exclaimed.

'Yeah but you're here. Fix it right now!' she demanded.

Harry sighed deeply and brushed her hair to the side.

'No!' she shrieked again. 'Wrong side!'

'Better?' he asked sarcastically.

'You haven't brushed it far enough left!'

'Now?'

'That's _too_ far left!'

'Happy now?'

'Get me a mirror.'

'Jeez, Parkinson, it's fine. Now shut up while I sort out these bruises.'

'Get me a fucking mirror now or you will be sorry later! Or just unparalyse me!'

'Not a chance.' retorted Harry, he looked into her eyes. 'Now be a good girl and shut up or I will gag you with _my_ sock this time.'

Pansy looked frightened for a second and she glanced down at his sock-cladded feet, Harry wriggled his toes to taunt her and she paled and turned slightly green.

'Good girl.' he approved, he waved his wand over her neck and muttered a few words, the bruises diminished slightly in colour but there was an obvious improvement.

'Same time tomorrow, darling.' he said patronisingly, he lifted his spell off her and Pansy immediately got up. Harry had braced himself from the moment he removed the spell and expected her to attack him and shred him to pieces but much to his surprise, she leapt up and ran off to the bathroom to check the state of her hair.

Harry chuckled heartily and got ready for bed.

oOo

Pansy frowned when she saw her reflection in the mirror. She was not surprised that a guy with hair like that would be able to fix hers adequately. She grabbed her brush and combed into through the long locks of dark brown. Even though she had washed it earlier, she felt compelled to wash it immediately after _his _grubby hands had touched her mane.

As if on cue, as soon as she started the fourth brush down her sleek locks, the lights went out in the bathroom. Pansy sighed and put down her brush on the counter beside the sink, she groped her jeans for her wand to fix the bulb then realised Harry had knocked it out of her hand earlier and it was probably lying on the bedroom floor somewhere. She turned round and bumped into Harry.

Only it wasn't Harry.

'Hello, love.' whispered the deep voice of tall man towering over her. They ran their rough callused hands up her arms and one of their hands easily secured itself around her throat but they did not squeeze. 'Did you miss me?'

Pansy screamed and then the next five seconds felt like a millisecond.

Everything seemed to happen all at once, she could hear Harry's heavy footsteps running to the bathroom, the man disappeared suddenly, the light blazed back on and the next thing she knew, she was standing shivering, her eyes half-closed and wincing adjusting to the sudden brightness and Harry barging through the door with concern in his emerald eyes.

'What's wrong?' he demanded.

'Nothing.' she said. 'I just saw a spider.'

oOo

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oOo

**_A/N Hello everyone, sorry sorry sorry (times infinity infinity) that I have not updated in ages. You are very welcome to punish me however you like! There has just been so much going on in my life atm. I'm back at uni and the work load is INTENSE! Also I broke up with my boyfriend and please don't give me any flames about who cares that we broke up blah blah blah. Don't even comment and don't send me comforting words. Haha, I don't even know why I told you that, anyways, it's totally unrelated to the story._**

**_Seems like my readers has been working overtime and I am so pleased that you guys reviewed! You are the best!_**

**_Apologies for the short chapter, will make the next one perfect!_**

**_I know you're all probably wondering why Pansy didn't tell Harry straight away about the man in the bathroom but some people are strange like that and don't like sharing things like this to people they don't like too much, ie. Harry.  
_**

**_So any ideas for commotion between the newly wedded Malfoy couple in Japan? We should leave Harry/Pansy alone because they already have their drama with this mysterious killer!_**

**_You've been so good to me and I shouldn't ask for more but _**

**_PLEASE REVIEW!  
_**


	13. Chapter 13 Trop de vin est MAL

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

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**Chapitre Treize- Trop de vin est MAL pour ton sante et ta vie!  


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**_A not-so-typical morning in Harry and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

Pansy had managed to deceive Harry successfully ever since the bathroom incident- which made her really doubt if he was 'one of the best Aurors in history' as they always say in the Wizarding World. He didn't even notice her give the windows a solid tug to ensure they were shut properly or that she slept a little closer to his side or that she was sleeping on her front with one hand tucked under her pillow (she was holding onto her wand) as opposed to always sleeping on her back or when she jumped and sat up thoroughly ruffled when their alarm went off. After a quiet breakfast and a portkey to London for work and they both separated to go their own ways, Pansy went to her office and sat down in her plush red armchair.

She shivered.

oOo

_Still in Pansy's office, London_

JP rapped smartly on her maghoghany door with his knuckles and waited patiently for her to answer while he bared a grin to examine his flawless smile on her silver name plaque that was bolted to the door. He heard her quiet murmur and he entered on cue, he took in her hunched form and gently closed the door.

'_Ma Cherie_, are you alright?' he asked anxiously. 'Your secretary said you've locked yourself up in your office ever since you got into work this morning! She said you even refused your daily frappucino and you cancelled a meeting! And you _never_ cancel meetings!'

'I didn't want my frappucino because I'm on my period and I feel bloated. I cancelled that particular meeting because it was pointless- the man keeps offering me inadequate raw materials.' explained Pansy but JP raised his eyebrows. She sighed. 'Okay, you got me. I'm feeling a bit off.'

'Tell me everything.' he said in his soothing baritone voice. He pulled her to her feet, leading her to the matching red loveseat and let her lie down; placing her head in his lap. He stroked one finger across her forehead. 'Your lovely face is creased with worry. What is wrong?'

Pansy bit her on lip and looked thoughtfully upwards into the designer's eyes. _Should I say?_ she thought, but finally she opened her mouth to confess what had been bothering her.

'I think someone's trying to kill me.' she whispered.

JP's eyes widened with shock. His hands tensed and stopped stroking her hair. Then he grew angry.

'What? Why didn't you tell me sooner? This is very serious! Have you notified the Aurors yet?' he demanded.

'No.' she shrugged. 'The first time I got attacked I thought it was just a robbery. Then the second attack was last night at the house.'

JP drew a sharp intake of air. 'In the house?'

'Yes.' shivered Pansy when she recalled the lights suddenly blacking out and bumping into her attacker. She recounted the story to JP. 'I guess he broke the strong wards Harry put up.'

'He sounds like a very strong wizard. Oh _ma belle_, I wish you told me sooner. You must have been so scared-'

'I'm not.' she interrupted.

'You're shaking, Pansy.' he said softly, it was only when he pointing at the goosebumps along her forearm, she then realised she had been shivering non-stop. JP lifted her head up off his lap and turned her around when she sat up. 'Listen to me, I will get to the bottom of this. I will call every security agency I know and make sure you're protected twenty-four seven.'

'I don't want to be spied on when I'm in the shower or stripping off!' she protested.

JP lifted her chin up with his finger. 'Are you or are you not scared?'

Pansy faltered and she nodded quietly.

'Have you even told Harry yet?'

'No. I lied to him last night and I still don't know why I didn't tell him. I don't think he will believe me anyways. If I told him someone tried to kill me, he would probably just laugh!'

'You should really tell him you know. Does Draco know?'

'I don't think I'm going to tell Boy Wonder just yet. Let's say he did believe me, imagine him following me about everywhere! Ugh! It's already unbearable being round him for several hours every day, never mind have him near me for more than that!' Pansy paused and let out a deep sigh. 'Draco and I are on a break. This whole marriage mix up is tearing us apart.'

'Oh darling, things will get better in time. If things don't work out, then he wasn't the one for you. He's a bit too-'

'Watch it, I love him.' she said fiercely.

'Alright tiger.' smiled JP. 'Look you have an owl.'

'It's Hedwig, it's Boy Wonder.' said Pansy in surprise walking over and lifting up the window to let the snowy owl in. She nipped Pansy's little finger affectionately and Pansy rewarded her with an owl treat. 'Stupid thing, it's so affectionate but it's such a beautiful owl.'

Pansy looked down at the tied roll of parchment in her hand and frowned. 'It's not for me.'

'Who's it for then?' quizzed JP.

'Well actually is for me. It's for Bernando.' she replied.

'Have you not told him yet that you're Bernando?'

'Nope. Did you know Boy Wonder doesn't actually have a lot of close friends? Yes, he's very known and liked but he doesn't have a lot of good friends? He spent all his time with Hermione, he didn't need any at all. That Weasley one is not exactly a good listener, now Harry thinks Bernando and him are BFFs and won't leave me alone!'

'Are you sure he's not just gay?' grinned JP.

'No, he's definitely not, he mopes about Hermione Granger _all_ the time. He's been all sad since they broke up.' Pansy rolled her eyes and unfurled the parchment. 'He wants to meet Bernando tonight at some bar in London, he wants to ask him something.'

'Oh do you think he's deciphered who he really is?'

'Doubt it, he would have just asked me straight out if I was Bernando. Don't think he is that smart to realise that his wife is also the same man he met to get away from his wife in a designer clothing shop. Wow...that's confusing.' she paused to think then commented. 'Anyways, that's not how things usually turn out.'

'Are you going to meet him then?'

'Actually I think I will. I'm curious what he wants to ask and I'd like to know what he really thinks of Pansy Parkinson.'

oOo

_At a London bar_

'Thanks for coming, Bernando.' said Harry as the dark-haired man took his seat. He waited politely while his company removed his jacket and slip it over the back of his chair. Harry took a sip of his water to clear his throat and Bernando looked at him expectantly.

'To be honest, Harry, I was just curious what you wanted to ask me.' said Bernando in his rich smooth voice.

'Let's get drinks first, shall we?' offered Harry, hes gestured to the bar.

'I thought you were going to stick to your water.'

Harry laughed. 'Nah, I'm getting something a bit stronger. What do you want?'

'Whatever you're having.'

Harry ordered two vodkas and cokes from the barman; Pansy cringed internally as a tumbler was placed in front of her- she absolutely hated vodka but none-the-less she threw back the entire glass and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and coughed slightly from the burning sensation in the back of her throat.

'Vodka not your thing?' inquired Harry with a grin, noticing the slight wince on her face.

'It's alright.' Bernando shrugged.

'So...I wanted to ask...' trailed off the Auror, he paused and swirled the dark brown liquid in his tumbler then he looked directly at his company. 'About Pansy.'

'What about her?' Bernando tried to keep his voice unassuming and he returned Harry's look.

'I've been thinking recently-'

'It's nice to know you use your brain to think.' smirked Bernando.

Harry turned his serious look into a sarcastic expression and shook his head. 'Seriously Bernando, I'm worried about Pansy.'

Bernando shifted slightly in his seat and turned the empty glass slowly in his hands. 'Why so?'

'Someone tried to strangle her. She told me she got into a fight with someone and I'm not too sure that's what happened.'

'Ah yes, she told me about that. Some crazy lunatic that this other fashion designer sent to aggravate Pansy. I've seen the bruises but Pansy said she's fine. You do know she gets a lot of hassle from crazy people?'

'She showed you the bruises?' asked Harry skeptically. 'She hid them from me.'

'Well Pansy and I are rather close. I'm sure she showed JP as well, they're even closer. Why don't you ask JP instead of me?'

'No thanks, JP will get distracted from the main topic, he's quite fond of me...You on the other hand...it's strange...I barely know you but I feel I can quite openly talk to you about more serious things.'

'I suppose I'm quite a serious man.'

'So the story of the fight is true then? She forgave the person and didn't even press charges after the incident?'

'No she didn't, Pansy likes to keep things on the low-key. Things like this attract too much attention from the media. Why do you care so much about her? Aren't you glad someone is trying to hurt her?'

'I wouldn't wish it on anyone to get hurt. If what you say is true, shouldn't there be higher security on Pansy? Especially if there's all these lunatics harassing her? I don't feel comfortable that no one is doing anything to stop someone getting so close to her that they could strangle her that bad! The bruises on her neck are terrible!'

'I'll mention it to her about tightening her security.' offered Bernando.

'No, it's alright, I think I'll do it myself.'

'My my, Harry, aren't you the gentleman?'

'I know she thinks I hate her but I don't really. There's no reason to, neither of us wanted to get into this situation, this entire mess up! Hermione broke things off with me because we were causing unnecessary strain on each other. I've let her down. Pansy is only my wife on paper but I know she didn't ask for this, Hermione's right, I shouldn't need to cause unnecessary strain on others too. I think it may just make the rest of this year a bit more bearable if I wasn't acting so unbearable to Pansy. I want to be able to return to my own house and _want_ to be back _home_.'

Bernando was speechless, underneath the whole 'mopey-ness' of Harry's words, she saw the maturity of his reasoning and she actually started to feel ever so slightly guilty herself for the unnecessary strain she _may_ have caused him.

'That makes sense.' murmured Bernando.

Harry coughed to break the silence that followed after his heartfelt confession. He glanced at his watch and finished his drink.

'Well Bernando, I have to go here, as long as you're sure that Pansy is in no danger then I won't probe into it anymore.' Harry slipped on his grey coat and fixed the buttons then he chuckled. 'She's really slack about the bruises on her neck. Will you please persuade her to get some medical advice on it? I don't want to be paralysing her everytime I perform a few healing spells on her. I can do it myself but I'm sure it'll heal a lot quicker if she got professional help!'

oOo

_A private Japanese estate near the snowy mountains, Japan_

Hermione hummed happily as she massaged the rest of her body lotion into her bare neck. After piling her hair on top of her head in a loose bun, she pulled back the covers of the large king size bed; climbing into the silky sheets that was already warmed by the blazing fire at the front of the master bedroom.

'Someone's in a good mood.' commented Draco as he towelled dried the rest of his hair. He flung the wet cloth onto the floor to which Hermione tutted and pointed her wand at it to levitate it to the back of a chair. He was wearing dark green silky boxers that matched the sheets and Hermione undid her matching dressing gown after setting her wand on the bedside cabinet.

'Of course I am! I don't have to do work, I spent the whole day sight-seeing and what was best was that I didn't have to pretend that I was your wife or that I even knew you!' she replied, snuggling down into the pillows. 'Perfect bliss.'

Now that they were in Japan, in an adorable little village near the mountain range where the scenery was beautifully magical: gigantic snow-topped trees and hot springs despite the freezing weather. It was a place where no-one recognised knew them. They spent their days apart doing their leisurely activities and only saw each other at night to sleep in the same bed so the stupid siren wouldn't go off.

'What did you do today?' Hermione's muffled voice came from under the covers.

'It's none of your business.' said Draco cheekily.

'I'm trying to make conversation here. Don't be difficult.' she scolded him.

'Whatever gave you the idea that I wanted to have a conversation with _you_?'

'There's no need to be so rude, Malfoy.' she sniffed.

'Oh quit your weeping!' he said nastily but he got no reply from her, he could just feel the covers pull to her side as she wound them around her body closer. He sighed. 'I went into Tokyo today and had a look at their Quidditch gear, I had a few meetings with some potential investors about expanding my company.'

'How boring.' she commented.

Draco raised his eyebrows and turned over to her side, he shuffled closer to her back until he was almost touching her.

'There's no need to be so rude, Malfoy.' he imitated her squeaky voice.

'Oh go away, Draco. Go back to your side of the bed. I've got a lot planned for tomorrow and I need to get an early night's sleep. I don't have the energy to have our pre-bedtime fight tonight.'

'I'm rather upset now, I was looking forward to our pre-bedtime fight all day.' he said but he moved back to his side because the smell of her shower-gel was irritating his nose. 'Oh I forgot, you have to cancel your plans for tomorrow, we had a lunch date-'

'You've got another thing coming if you _think_ that I would go on a lunch date with you! You'll just try to over-dose me with seafood again!'

'A _lunch date_ with a charming Japanese business man and his wife. You are to escort me, so cancel your plans for tomorrow.'

'Your _escort_?'

'Well that inferior term makes me feel better whenever I have to associate myself with you. The word "wife" leaves a bad taste in my mouth, if I married any other woman I don't think I would get such a bad aftertaste. I wonder why that is?' explained Draco seriously and paused dramatically to think then as if a light bulb ignited above his head, he smiled as he came to a theory. 'Oh yes, that's because it's you.'

'Escorts get paid.' countered Hermione. 'Are you going to pay me?'

'I already paid you enough to make sure your stupid research group doesn't fall down. Speaking of which...the wife of the Japanese entrepreneur is fascinated with western magical creatures. So entertain her accordingly and don't embarrass me, this is your big assignment.'

'I'm already too embarrassed to be seen with you.' mumbled Hermione into her pillow.

'What did you just say?' Draco sat up and looked at her back, he narrowed his eyes.

'Nothing dear.' Hermione turned round to face him, she gazed up lazily at him, her hair fanned across the pillow. 'And what happens if I screw this up? You going to grade me with a big fat F minus?'

Draco's nostrils flared. 'Don't you dare. I will ensure your group suffers equally if you cause me any damages tomorrow.'

'You're so vengeful.' she laughed. 'Loosen up, I won't embarrass you at your silly dinner tomorrow.

'I have a few remarks to make about what you just said there. One, of course I'm vengeful, I'm a Slytherin. Two, I'm not going to loosen up because I'm not into gay sex. And three, it's lunch, not _dinner_. And four, it's not silly!' rattled Draco on angrily but Hermione just burst out laughing. Draco flushed red because he knew that she knew she had got under his skin. 'God, I hate you Granger!'

Hermione stopped laughing and smiled so genuinely at him, even Draco calmed down instantly. They stared at each other for a brief pause and she reached out her hand towards his face. Draco stopped breathing, stunned and confused (and still a bit angry) as her fingers stretched out towards him.

Then she flicked his forehead hard with her slender fingers.

'Aww Draco, I hate you too!' she laughed.

'That was uncalled for!' he shouted in protest.

'Goodnight, Draco.' she smiled and rolled over onto her side away from him.

'Don't you turn your back on me!' he growled.

'Goooodnight Draco!' she sang.

'This is not over, Granger, you do not hurt my being like that and then tell me goodnight. Like..."Goodnight, Draco"...what the fuck is that suppose to do? Is that supposed to make feel threatened? Because it totally does not fucking me feel threatened! That is lame, Granger, even for you, come back and hit me with a better line! Is that your best-'

Draco's anger soared through the ceiling when he heard her snore loudly in the middle of his rant. Watching her shoulder heave gently with each breath, he actually yelled out in frustration and he flung the silk covers off because he was burning with anger. Muttering different curses under his breath that would even make Lucius blush like a schoolgirl, Draco stomped off to get a cold shower to 'cool' off his head.

As soon as she heard the bead curtain rustle after his exit, Hermione opened her eyes and stifled a laugh.

Draco had just fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

oOo

_Still at the London bar_

After Harry left, Bernando ordered another drink to mull over their conversation. He was about to slip his jacket on when JP called him.

'Hey babe, what's up?'

'Mmm your voice is so sexy.' sighed JP wistfully.

'Can you focus with your brain instead of your penis at the moment?' sighed Pansy.

'Mmm...the way you said penis there was so god-like. Pansy, I _much_ prefer you as Bernando.'

'What did you ring me for?'

'I've made a few calls after I left your office this morning. I've tightened up your security. These guys are really professional, you won't even know they're there.'

'Thanks, JP.'

'Also, I tried to break into your house earlier and fuck, your wards are so strong. Can you please change them so we can get the experts in to add a few more protection spells?'

'I'll change them when I get back home. I'm just about to leave the bar now.'

'Okay, here's the thing, we need a hour or so, so get Boy Wonder out of the house if you don't plan on telling him this whole story.'

'Like he's going to get out of the house when I tell him to!' retorted Pansy.

'Go for dinner or something. Make an excuse up. I have to go here! Text me when you're leaving the house and don't forget, change your wards!'

Before Pansy could respond, he hung up on her abruptly, she stared at her phone in marvel and cursed under her breath. She quickly composed a message to her 'other-half' inquiring about dinner later on. Harry was a quick texter, he replied seconds later with one word.

_Whatever_.

Fuming, Pansy shoved her mobile in her jacket. She wasn't even going to stoop that low again to ask him again, JP was going to have to come some other day to perform the spells. Suddenly, her phone beeped and Pansy assumed it was gay designer texting to ask if she had asked Harry yet but it was the latter.

_Dinner Villa Italia 8pm. C u then smelly, BW._

Pansy rolled her eyes at the 'smelly' comment, she stared confusedly at the BW part. What was he calling her? 'Bitch...something'? 'Big Weirdo'?

She shrugged and put her phone back into her coat, she couldn't be bothered with deciphering his abusive names.

oOo

_Villa Italia, a (real) restaurant in Belfast_

Despite his bad sense of style, his inadequate manners, his awful hair, his desperately rubbish chivalry as a gentleman, his weird surrogate family, his terrible idea of fun, Harry Potter had excellent taste in restaurants and dining.

And wine.

'I must say Boy Wonder, I'm quite impressed.' confessed Pansy finishing off the last bit of the rose wine in her glass. 'This is delicious.'

'I'm the president of the local Wine and Cheese Society.' shrugged Harry, he poured her some more when she set her glass down.

Pansy nodded in approval as they both sat back while their starters were served. She watched the bar at the side where a chef was expertly rolling out the base for a new pizza. The decor in the restaurant was very classically Italian with garlands of fake vines and grapes draping from the ceiling and blood-red tablecloths.

'So why suddenly dinner tonight?' Harry asked. 'I didn't know you were that desperate for my company.'

'Don't flatter yourself, Potter. I just...erm...just wanted...' Pansy struggled for a good _believable_ excuse. Damn...why didn't she think of one before?

'I'm actually glad we're having dinner now...there's something I wanted to say.' interrupted Harry quietly. Pansy felt quite relieved at once and stopped spearing vegetables onto her fork to look at him.

'Hmm...' coughed Harry to clear his throat uncomfortably. 'I was thinking...I'm tired of fighting...I want a truce.'

'A truce?' asked Pansy skeptically. She remembered their conversation from earlier but she thought he was only joking.

'Yes a truce. If we don't annoy each other so much, we can live more harmoniously together. Then one year will fly by! What do you think?'

'I suppose you are right...but I'm not so sure about the 'harmoniously' part.' she said critically. Harry sighed but she smiled. 'But I suppose we can give it ago.'

'Great.' he said with a smile. 'Let's lay down the rules.'

'It's alright, I already got my lawyer to draft a document. I have it here, you just need to sign your name and that's our truce official.' said Pansy business-like, she reached for her handbag.

'Are you serious?' asked Harry stunned.

'Of course, I am, Boy Wonder!' she said sarcastically but Harry blinked at her confusedly.

'I'm lying, Potter! Keep up!' she sighed.

'Oh that's okay. Right the rules are if we ever fight over who gets to do something first, we shall toss a coin-'

'I'm head!' butted in Pansy.

'Fine.' Harry rolled his eyes and continued on. 'We shall toss a coin and whatever it lands on, that person gets to go first..._all_ the time. No complaints, deal?'

'Deal.' Pansy sipped her wine.

'Another rule. We're to never touch the other person's wand. Or point your wand at the other person except when I'm dealing with the bruises on your neck...don't give me that look Pansy. I promise, once your bruise is gone, I won't ever touch you with my wand again.'

'That sounds dirty.' she smirked.

'Are you even taking this seriously?' he asked exasperatedly.

'Yes but let's talk about it later at home, our starters are getting cold!' she said then she lifted her glass to him. 'Truce?'

Harry raised his glass and gently tapped it against hers, when the rims of the glass touched, it made a beautiful _clink_.

oOo

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

'TRUCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' yelled Pansy as she stumbled through the gate into their front lawn.

'Ssh!' laughed Harry, he was holding her coat and bag because she demanded it would improve his gentlemanly skills. 'You'll wake the neighbours.'

'Then you should have lived in a manor where it's far away from other houses!' she giggled.

Yes, the Potters had too much to drink at the restaurant. One could say that now they were in a mutual decision to be nice to each other, they were at ease to be themselves..._too_ at ease to drink too much.

'Fuck it, Boy Wonder, my heel's stuck in the crack.' Pansy cursed. Her heel indeed was stuck in the crack between the paving stones that lead to the front door, she tried to yank her foot up but it would not loosen. Harry sighed and stumbled over to where she was, flinging her bag and coat onto the grass.

'POTTER!' she shrieked. 'Don't put my stuff on the ground! My coat's Valentino and my bag is Prada!'

'Aw that's nice. Do you give all your stuff names?' hiccupped Harry, he bent down to peer at the heel wedged tightly in the crack.

'No, you idiot. Valentino and Prada are brands. _Designer_ brands. Don't you know anything?'

'I know if you don't stop being nasty, I'm gonna leave you here stuck!'

'Please don't! These are my favourite shoes.' she moaned, she pushed him away from her legs and undid the strap on her ankle, slipping her foot out. 'Oh well, I'll just leave it out here.'

'You sure?' asked Harry in shock. 'Pansy Parkinson leaving her beloved shoes _outside_?'

'It's fine.' she slurred, she went to pick her coat and bag up and nearly toppled over but Harry caught her in time.

'Let me take it. My, you are rather drunk.' he commented as he tightened his arm around her slim waist. 'And you're quite a lot shorter without your heels.'

'I've still got one heel on. And yes I'm quite drunk.' she sighed. 'Are you not drunk?'

'I am...I think...' admitted Harry.

'Brilliant! Let's go home and drink some more!' smiled Pansy cheerily. Despite her state, she managed to get the door opened with her key while her husband held her up. Pansy sighed in bliss when her bare foot touched the warmth of the fluffy rug. Harry closed the door shut with his elbow and he tried to hold her upright.

'Can you stand up still while I put your stuff down on the sofa? Good...whoa!'

He had only let her go for a few seconds but she toppled over again, she giggled as she pulled him down with her fall.

'You fell over!' she laughed like a kid.

'You pulled me down!' protested Harry, he suddenly noticed that he could still see the bruises on her neck now that her hair was brushed off her shoulder, he touched it and she winced.

'That hurts.' she complained and she pouted.

'I'm sorry.' he said apologetically. 'But it does look like it's getting better. I should start tonight's spells now before I forget.'

'It is getting better.' she agreed with a lazy smile then she commanded. 'Make it better!'

Without thinking, Harry brushed away the few remaining loose strands of hair on her neck and pressed his lips gently against the bruises. Pansy didn't even flinch to his tender touch and she emitted a low moan, something that sounded like a little mew of a kitten. Her skin was so smooth, so soft and he grazed her neck again gently with the contours of his lips. When he ran his tongue over the spot, Pansy shivered underneath his body. He pulled back to look at her and her delicate eyelids tinged with shimmery purple eyeshadow were closed over her eyes. Slowly, they opened to reveal big dark brown eyes framed with thick sooty lashes and they blinked a few times before gazing curiously into his green ones and she smiled.

'Do you want to kiss?' he asked.

'Yes.' she said.

'Right then.' he grinned. 'Kiss me.'

Pansy immediately looked offended. 'I'm not making the first move! I _never_ make the first move!'

'You said you want to kiss, now do it.'

'N...O...spells NO! Be a man Boy Wonder!'

'Don't be such a wuss.'

'Stop calling me names! You already called me smelly today! And "BW", what does that even mean!'

'I thought you would know, it's your term of endearment for me, it stands for Boy Wonder. You call me it all the time!'

'No, I don't!'

'You only called me it like ten seconds ago. Right, are you going to kiss me or what?'

'No, Boy Wonder...aw fuck it, I said it again! No I'm not going to! Potter you don't take rejection very well, I just told you no!'

'You said you didn't want to make the first move.' he reminded her. 'But that's fine with me if you don't wanna kiss.'

'Where's a fucking coin?' she demanded.

Harry drew one from his pocket from the change earlier at the restaurant.

'Best of three.' said Pansy.

'Why? You scared you won't win?'

'No, just flip the coin, Boy Wonder...aww fuck.'

They sat up and Harry flipped the coin; it landed on the back of his hand as heads. Pansy whooped but the second time, it landed on tails and Harry grinned while she sulked.

They were even now and it all rested on the last flip. They both sat up even straighter in anticipation. Harry threw the coin in the air and as if by luck, when he went to clamp the coin down, his hand knocked it and the coin went flying off in an unknown direction.

'Oh Boy Wonder!' sighed Pansy and she slumped back against the sofa. When she really she said his nickname again, she covered her face.

'I'm pretty sure that was a tail though.' said Harry.

Pansy removed her hands from her face and gave him a pointed look. 'Don't get your hopes up.'

'Why do you never make the first move? Scared to disappoint?' he taunted.

'Pah...' she rolled her eyes and poked him very hard in the chest. 'One thing you should know is that Pansy Parkinson _never_ fails to disappoint.'

Harry caught her hand before she could pull it away, his thumb ran soothing circles in her palm and she swallowed hard. He leant forward and she licked her lips in anticipation but he blew the hair off her neck again and kissed her bruises tenderly before drawing back to look at her in the eyes.

'I think you're a big scaredy cat.' he whispered. 'Cause you're a rubbish kisser!'

Pansy's nostrils flared, she was going to answer with some witty comment about _his_ own kissing skills and something diminishing about his manhood, his face, his name etc. but instead, she snatched her hand away from him and seized his face with both her hands; kissing him soundly on the lips. Not waiting for it to be gentle, she bit his bottom lip to make his gasp and she slipped her tongue inside his mouth. Satisfied that she fell for his intentional taunts, Harry responded back eagerly and he circled his arms around her tiny waist; lifting her onto his lap. Fighting to dominate the kiss, Harry snaked his hand through her silky locks and pulled her head back, kissing all over her neck sensually, she gasped when his hot kisses touched the bruises but it only fuelled the passion more.

'I was right, you are a rubbish kisser.' he grinned as he scattered kisses all over her collarbone.

'Not as rubbish as you are, Boy Wonder, it's like kissing a washing machine.' she fired back breathlessly.

'Touché.' he groaned as she shoved him back down against the sofa. She stopped their passionate kissing for a while and they gazed at each other, their heads were spinning- from the passion or from the alcohol, they didn't know. She stooped down towards him and shivered when he ran one finger up her spine under her jumper, her dark hair fell around his face like their own private booth and everything became dark but he could still see the sparkle in her dark eyes. Next thing he knew, the sparkle disappeared as her lips crashed onto his, moving against each other. She trailed her kisses to the side of his mouth, down his jaw, circled his Adam's apple before attacking his neck.

After kissing her husband's neck region, she pulled herself back up to look at him once again.

'BOY WONDER!' she screamed.

Harry Potter had just fallen asleep on her.

oOo

* * *

**_A/N I know this lacks a LOT of Draco/Hermione action. But I just want to get Harry and Pansy started so that I can focus on Draco/Hermione later. Pansy's attacker will be revealed in the next couple of chapters and afterall it's chapter 13, so we're going to UP the game between Draco and Hermione which means rommannnnceeee or some sort of form of it! Don't worry, you will still get entertain from their little fights._**

**_As for Harry and Pansy, how will they react next morning? Supporting a hangover and kissing your former enemy? That definitely sounds like a WRONG LIFETIME WITH A WRONG MAN!_**

**_Can I get 260 reviews? You know you love me!  
_**


	14. Chapter 14 La Mort de Hermione

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

* * *

**Chapitre Quatorze: La Mort

* * *

**

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

With a pounding headache and extremely dry mouth, Harry woke up and blearily opened his eyes to the morning sun streaming through the clean double glazed windows. He yawned, licked his lips and rubbed his eyes with one hand as his other hand pushed his body off the hard floor. He realised then that he had slept on the floor throughout the whole night and now his back was suffering as a consequence. He stopped rubbing his eyes and reached up to brush his hair back- he didn't know which was worse; his fingers grazing a smooth bald scalp and grasping at the non-existent unruly strands of hair or when he laid his emerald eyes on the bald person who was staring back as equally horrified as he was in living room mirror.

Ah yes, it was one of those morning-afters when you woke up and you wished it was just all a dream. Harry did not forget what happened last night, in fact despite his tension headache, he remembered with crystal clear and vivid remembrance the previous night's antics. Harry looked grimly at his new appearance and managed to reason with his inner conscious why he should not be angry at his new wife for being so deft with her wand. He also tried not to analyse the clip of them kissing too much because he didn't want to know how he felt about that just yet. His brain was screaming at him that it was wrong; she was his former rival in school and they argued over _everything_ ever since they accidentally got married to each other. Harry debated about mentioning his gratification for his new haircut, if he mentioned it, she would get angry and say it was entirely his fault.

Why was it his fault?

Because he fell asleep.

Why should it matter that he fell asleep?

Because he fell asleep on her.

Why does it bother her that he fell asleep on her?

Oh yes...they were in the midst of a tender kiss.

Fuck.

_Yes...best to pretend nothing happened and not mention it_, concluded Harry in his head, it would just lead to _that_ topic if she got annoyed with him; not that she wasn't already.

He was about to call Mrs Weasley about a quick hair re-growth when his charming other half flounced into the room, their eyes made connected and she sweep a glance up to his shiny bald head and she smirked.

'_Good_ morning, Boy...Potter.' she greeted him.

'Good morning...why aren't you at work?

'It's the weekend, you idiot.' she said viciously, she rubbed her neck and winced when it was stiff; Harry noticed and raised his eyebrows. 'You're such a heavy sleeper, tried to wake you several times to get you to move to a bed but as you know with the siren thing and all, I ended sleeping on this hard floor with _you_.'

Harry swallowed and stared at the ground. _Oh no...the sleep question..._ he thought.

Pansy folded her arms and tapped her foot in a slow patting pattern as she waited for him to answer. Harry dared himself to return her gaze and he swallowed, breathing slowly- he decided he wasn't going to say anything until she spoke first.

But Pansy just shrugged nonchantly which led Harry to think for a split second that she forgot about the entire thing but then he remembered his new haircut took place this morning and therefore she definitely _did_ remember, he finally concluded that she didn't care. She pointed outside the window and looked expectantly at him.

'Pansy...' he sighed. 'Why do you always do this? I can't read your mind, so stop pointing and tell me.'

'My heel got stuck in the crack in the front porch.' she answered simply.

'And...?' he raised his eyebrow.

'And you need to get it out.' she finished.

Harry laughed at her demand and he folded his arms defiantly. 'What makes you think I'm just gonna do it when you tell me to?'

'I think you'll find that out shortly, Potter.' she said and she matched his pose; folding her arms.

He narrowed his eyes at her, she was up to something, she had something on him, he just knew it from that look. He stood for a moment and frowned as he felt strangely naked without the one personal thing on his person- his wand.

It was twirling between her fingers and she had painted a huge smirk on her face; looking extremely pleased with herself.

'Get on with it.' she drilled. 'Also I want my shoe intact!'

'Bitch.' he muttered as he opened the front door.

'I heard that!' Pansy shouted from the kitchen and Harry shook his head as he closed the door behind him, he eyed the designer heel lodged in the paving with disgust.

Yes, she was determined to make him remember their last night antics.

oOo

_A delight sushi bar, Japan_

Hermione wrinkled her nose as a waiter walked past with a tray full of sushi topped with prawns- trust her delightful husband to bring her to a sushi restaurant for lunch. She sipped her extremely hot green tea with caution as Draco not-so-modestly fixed his blonde hair in the dark glass division beside their table.

Now remember to behave yourself and let me do all the talking.' he said patronisingly. Before she could make any sort of remark, he suddenly stood up and waved, smiling in such a genuine way Hermione was almost fooled that Draco Malfoy was capable of being _nice_. As the Japanese couple advanced their way, Draco hurriedly stamped on Hermione's foot causing her to shriek but his hand quickly clamped over her mouth to cut off her squeal. Their business partners suddenly looked shocked to see such violence and Draco swiftly removed his hand and replaced it with his mouth. As he kissed her soundly, Hermione freaked and she thought she was going to be physically sick, she grabbed fistfuls of his hair but he laced his fingers over hers and whispered against her lips in such a way, she would be marvelled if she wasn't so angry right now.

'Don't you _dare_ mess my hair up, I just perfected it!' he muttered. His lips then left hers and he yanked her up onto her feet so fast, she toppled towards him and now that their guests had arrived at the table, he had no choice but to circle his arm around her waist. Given any other circumstance, he would have stepped aside and left her fall flat onto her face.

Hermione was stunned as Japanese flowed out of Draco's lips like music and the Japanese couple responded delightedly. She saw him nod at her and say 'Hermione' so he must have been introducing her.

'This is the Kazayukis.' explained Draco and he let go of her side. 'Go shake their hands.'

Hermione reacted obediently and shook both the couples's hands. Mr Kazayuki was a very well dressed man who seemed to be in his forties but she suspected he was older than he looked as this was usually the case of combination skin. His wife was a very pretty petite woman with a very small waist that was accentuated with a thin belt fastened smoothly over her camel-coloured coat. Draco indicated their seats and helped Mrs Kazayuki into her seat. Once they were all seated, he signalled for a waiter and ordered their drinks in flawless Japanese.

Hermione wasn't usually the one who follow threats but she had to give in to Draco's 'Let me do all the talking' remark for she was completely lost as the conversation was just a flurry of Japanese words. She sat bored as they laughed and the men slapped the table heartily, she would smile every now and then.

'Stop fidgeting.' murmured Draco, the movement of his lips covered as he raised the china cup to his mouth. 'The translator will be here soon and I _trust_ you to entertain Mrs Kazayuki while I talk business matters with her husband.'

Hermione let out a small sign which he responded to look at her reproachfully. After laboriously counting how many fish there were in each of the twelve tanks and how many tall leafy potted plants in the restaurant, Hermione tuned back into their conversation. She caught the Kazayukis looking strangely at her, they looked somehow worried and Draco laughed and shook his head. Then Mrs Kazayuki suddenly clapped her hand in delight and said something to her husband, shaking his upper arm. Suddenly, Mr Kazayuki roared with laughter and slapped the table, Hermione looked questioningly to Draco who looked extremely unimpressed and he was _very_ pale.

'What's going on, Draco?' she demanded when he didn't say anything. She poked him and he flinched, he looked at her finally and he suddenly reached around her waist with his arm and pulled her closer to him. She squeaked: 'What do you think you're doing?'

'Please work with me, Granger.' said Draco slowly, she frowned as he plastered a huge smile on his face; it was rather unnerving.

'Is there a reason you have your hands on my person?' she snapped.

The Kazayukis continued to babble at him excitedly and the husband even took out his phone, Draco turned to face her, his arm still wrapped tightly around her and his other free hand lifted her chin up and she shied away from his touch.

'Look, Granger, I know you're a shit actress but can you _please_ work with me? These two know we just got married and they said we don't seem very passionate about each other. They just suggested that we should employ the services of their sex therapist who apparently is _very_ eager and persistent. I don't know about you but I don't want to have sex with you!' he said quickly and he was _still_ smiling.

'You aren't serious!' she said, horrified.

They both looked to their company who was eyeing them with interest, Mr Kazayuki still had his phone in hand. Draco babbled in Japanese quickly but the man laughed and shook his head, he looked fiercely at them, pointing to his phone and Draco groaned quietly- Hermione did not understand a word of Japanese but she knew that her husband was failing miserably. She grabbed his blonde head and mussed up his hair as she threw herself into his arms, Draco flinched in surprise but he quickly circled her waist in his hold, she could feel his fingers skim up her spine and she shivered. Meshing their lips together in a hurried false passion, Draco bit her lip (a little too hard- just to spite her? She didn't know) and she gasped. He took no time to push his tongue inside her mouth and the battle of their lips and tongues began- neither party giving in. Hermione tightened her grasp on his blonde hair a little harder, to pay back for the pain he caused her by biting her lip. Draco winced against her mouth and he seized her waist again; crushing her body against his and she whimpered as the air knocked out of her lungs. Hermione internally growled and she loosened her grip on his head, sneaking her hand into his shirt and yanked his shirt so forcefully open, taking care to dig her nails into the pale skin on his chest and he growled _out loud_. She felt his hand wander towards her upper clothing vengefully and she pulled back quickly, breathing heavily.

The Kazayukis looked stunned as the couple in front of them were tousled and mussed, breathing heavily. Mr Kazayuki put his phone back in his blazer and smiled.

Draco fixed his shirt and he glanced down at the angry red marks on his chest, he grimly fixed his hair.

'You bitch...you'll pay for that.' he muttered quietly.

oOo

_One hour later, still in the (delightful) sushi bar, Japan_

The interpreter came after their lunch and the young woman had pulled up a chair beside Hermione and Mrs Kazayuki.

'Mrs Malfoy is it?' smiled the interpreter.

'That's right.' answered Hermione, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

'Mrs Kazayuki said she heard about your fantastic research group from your husband. She wants to know more about it.'

'Well...'

oOo

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, front porch, Bangor_

Of course Harry did not perform Pansy's request...no _demand..._ straightaway, he waited for approximately half an hour by sitting on the blue painted bench outside their front porch and watched the clouds float past in the light blue sky. He eyed his task reproachfully, the blasted thing was shiny and its heel was wedged tightly between the cracks. He had an internal debate again, he had to resist! If he went ahead and got her heel out then that would admit she had a hold on him. He couldn't have her stealing his wand every time she wanted something done!

As his mind finally exhausted all his options, he sighed and stood up, brushing off a ladybird that flew onto his knee. He rolled up his sleeves and headed straight for her shoe.

oOo

_Sushi bar, Japan (still)_

The men had been negotiating their business contract for the past hour and Hermione was still conversing with the wife. It was a bit strange at first, she didn't know whether to look at Mrs Kazayuki or the interpreter herself but eventually, she settled her focus on the wife while the interpreter relayed the information back and forth in English and Japanese. When the petite woman was finally satisfied with knowledge on Hermione's research group, her next question threw her a little back.

'What?' said Hermione rudely.

'Mrs Kazayuki asked what sex position do you and your husband normally-'

'I heard what you said!' Hermione said flabbergasted.

The interpreter shrugged and waited for her answer to translate. Mrs Kazayuki looked expectantly at her company sitting across the table and Hermione flushed red.

'I'm not answering that...' began Hermione. 'Why does she even want to know?'

The interpreter spoke quickly in Japanese then looked at Hermione.

'She said that she noticed you didn't mention that you had children and your physique is unlike one has bore children before. She is suggesting that your usual sex position is not doing you and your husband any favours in the children department.'

'Draco and I are not-' started Hermione but she quickly stopped herself, she took a deep breath and then exhaled. 'Draco and I rather focus on our careers for the time being before having a family.'

Mrs Kazayuki seemed displeased with her answer and she suddenly smiled as she said something and she giggled. The interpreter exchanged her words into English fluently.

'WHAT!' cried Hermione so loudly, everyone stopped in the restaurant to look at the direction of the outburst. Draco narrowed his eyes at her and she looked down in her lap; mortified.

When the interpreter began to repeat, Hermione snapped her head up and looked pleadingly at the woman.

Graphic details of Mr Kazayuki's fetishes in the bedroom was something she did not want to hear!

oOo

_Outside the delightful sushi bar, Japan (finally)_

'Mrs Kazayuki spoke highly of you.' said Draco in an almost accusing tone as he helped her put her coat on as an act. 'What was with all the screaming?'

'You don't want to know.' Hermione said quickly. 'Can we please go home? I can't take anymore of this.'

'Unfortunately not, the Kazayukis is demanding we go to the hot springs with them.'

'Tell them I'm sick.'

'But you're not.'

'Okay, well I'm telling you now I don't feel well!'

'Look Granger, come along, the hot springs are excellent and these are very private and not many people in the world get a chance to visit these ones. Not even with all the money in the world! It's meant to be very relaxing so I assure you Mrs Kazayuki will not be talking to you.' he reasoned.

'Not a chance, Malfoy.' muttered Hermione as they left the restaurant. Mr Kazayuki helped his wife into their limosine and he stood by the door waiting for them.

'I'll donate a thousand galleons to your research group.' sighed Draco.

'Make that _ten_ thousand.' she countered.

'Are you fucking serious?' he swore under his breath.

'I can't joke, you know that Malfoy.' Hermione said honestly.

Draco looked at Mr Kazayuki who was looking expectantly at them and he sighed.

'Get in the car.' he said. 'I'll get my accountant to transfer the money tomorrow.'

'_Today_.' Hermione insisted.

'FINE. I'll do it now.'

Hermione grinned and looked over to the Mr Kazayuki and she deliberately kissed Draco on the cheek.

'I could get used to be married to you.' she said and she got into the car.

'That makes one of us.' he muttered under his breath, and then he spoke to his business client that he needed a few minutes to make a call.

oOo

_Hot springs located near the snowy mountains, Japan_

'The money went through? That's great, I'll talk to you soon.'

'Jeez, do you really not trust me?' Draco's voice came behind her and Hermione set her mobile down on top of her neatly folded bundle of clothes.

She tightened the robe around her body and as she turned round, she said matter-of-factly: 'This is you we're talking about, Malfoy.'

And there he was, Draco Malfoy standing in all his birthday suit.

'Oh my god! You're naked!' she shrieked and covered her eyes. 'What are you doing!'

'Well...I'm standing here talking to you.' he answered honestly.

'No!' she cried, covering her eyes and shaking her head. 'Why are you naked?'

'You're supposed to go to these springs naked, love. Besides it's nothing you haven't seen before.' he said cheekily.

Hermione flushed angrily and turned her back to him, lowering her hands. 'Aren't you meant to be with Mr Kazayuki in a separate pool? Where is Mrs Kazayuki?'

'Yes I thought so too. Apparently he booked a spring for him and his wife and another pool for me and you.' he said, he came closer to her and she could see him point his bare arm from the corner of her eye. 'Shall we?'

'We're not going in together!' she said adamantly.

'Well suit yourself; I'm not wasting this opportunity! Mind you, I'm going to be a while so you can just stand here if you want.'

'Fine but you go first. I'll come second.'

'My, Granger, how chivalrous of you to put my sexual needs before yours.' he commented.

'Just go!' said Hermione, turning very red. She was getting very hot and flustered but she refused to take off her robe until he was gone. 'No looking behind you!'

Draco laughed and she turned round, covering her eyes again and peeked through her fingers, she saw a flash of his bottom and she adjusted her vision higher. Finally, she heard him splash in the water so she followed him after and true to his word, he sat with his back to her.

'Don't look.' she reminded and she began to remove her robe.

'You do really have small boobs you know.' he commented. 'Your chest looked so flat in that robe. Ever considered surgery?'

'Fuck you.' she growled as she dipped her toe into the bubbling spring, she shivered as the delightfully warm water lapped around her foot. She slowly emerged herself in the water and she looked at her husband who lounged back against the rim of the spring with a neatly folded white cloth pressed to his eyes. She followed his example and picked up another ebony cloth from the nearby basket and waded to the furthest end of the spring from him before choosing a perfect spot to relax and unwind.

oOo

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, kitchen, Bangor_

Pansy hummed as she dusted icing sugar over her freshly baked fruit pies. She sucked on her finger and dipped it into the icing sugar packet before licking off the sweet white powder on her digit. She cleaned her hands under the tap and then checked her watch.

As if on cue, Harry walked up grumpily, he threw something onto the counter and Pansy scowled as her heel nearly skidded into her batch of treats. He stomped to the fridge (his fridge- sans padlock) and removed a beer from the upper shelf; he opened it easily and chugged on it.

'Thank you, Boy Wonder, would you like a fruit tart?'

'No.' he answered shortly. 'Where's my wand?'

She pointed to the table where it lay beside the fruit bowl, Harry grunted and snatched it, keeping it in his hand and she shrugged at his rejection of her baked goods.

'Fine, there's more for me then.' she said carelessly.

'I hope you choke on them.' he said nastily.

'That's hardly threatening, Potter.' she said with her arms folded.

'Okay...well then, I hope you get really fat from them. You're tubby as it already.' he said and he left the kitchen on that note.

Pansy lowered the fruit tart from her lips and furrowed her eyebrows; frowning. He wasn't serious was he?

oOo

_Their private hot springs, Japan_

He thought he felt the rush of freezing cold wind first before the loud rumbling sound, or was it the other way round? Either way, the hot water around his body was splashing around furiously, the wood under his arms was trembling and a piercing wail came behind him.

Draco snatched the towel off his face and he wiped his eyes immediately, blinking several times to regain his vision. The trees that were circling their private spring were battling with the wind, their long sword-like branches shook off their liberal dusting of powdery snow as they fought against the screeching wind. The rumble continued its crescendo hum and it started to hurt Draco's ears.

He scrambled out of the hot wild water fast and bounded towards the trees and he looked up, his hand shielded his eyes from the bright frenzied light from the violently swinging lanterns hung on the porch. It was a dark night but he looked up the snowy mountains and saw a dark ash coloured mist running in their direction.

Just as he realised this strange tumbling mist was an avalanche, it was too late to move and Draco Malfoy was buried fast.

oOo

It was cold.

So cold.

He never felt anything like it.

He was never a fan of coldness, he would rather be too hot than too cold.

All those times he complained to Pansy when he was too cold.

But that was _nothing_ compared to this temperature.

It was so cold.

He couldn't possibly survive.

But he did.

oOo

A hand erupted through the snow like a volcano, it groped its surroundings and all it could grasp was handfuls of the powdery stuff. It stretched further and tickled a bristly object, its digits fumbled desperately to catch hold but it failed miserably. The hand retreated back to the hole where it came from and there was no more sign of life for a few seconds.

One...two...three...four...fi-

The hand exploded out again and managed to seize the sturdy branch in its grip, it dragged it back and forth towards the hole until the snow around the elbow loosened up. With one energetic pull from the owner, another hand, also head and shoulders emerged from the snow.

Draco surfaced with a loud gasp, spraying wet snow from his mouth like a brilliant fountain, his teeth chattered and he wheezed heavily as his body wracked with violent muscle spasms. He let go of the branch carefully and planted his hands on the firm snow. It was painfully cold and his entire body was aching but he managed to drag himself out.

He was lucky to be alive, for when the avalanche first hit him, he flew back into the air and smacked into a lean tree, he held onto this for dear life until its thin spine snapped and he flew back again, he hit several trees again and it was these woody shields that saved him from being buried too deep.

Draco wheezed again, his chest labouring heavily with each breath as he lay back on the snow. It was cold but it eased the pain from the whiplashes on his back from the shaarp branches. He closed his eyes and tried to modulate his breathing then he suddenly snapped his eyes open.

_Hermione_.

Wincing, he forced himself up. His body temperature was so cold, the snow did not melt on his pale skin and fell off smoothly instead. His aching ears perked up a little and he could hear the distant rumbling of the avalanche. He looked back towards the mountain in its inky blackness, he could barely see anything. Squinting his eyes he spotted a pointed metal jutting out of the snow far up the slope, he recognised it as the condo's roof piece and he dragged his feet towards it.

Draco tried to hurry his feet but his cold, tense muscles screamed in agony with every step. He gritted his teeth and ploughed on. He reached his destination, panting breathlessly, and he looked desperately at the snowy ground beneath his bare feet. Below must be the spring, he stamped his foot down and noticed the snow was a lot looser than the snow further down the slope. He imagined it may have been due to the hot springs melting the powdery snow. He stamped again; this time with both feet, the ground below him quavered again and sank a little deeper. He mustered all his energy and jumped again. The snow was sinking steadily and he repeated his actions until finally he saw pale fingers emerge out of the snow from the corner of his eye.

He bounded towards it and kneeled to the ground, he grasped the hand and identified it as female; long, thin slender fingers and a soft palm. Draco felt it grip his hand in response and he hurriedly dug out the snow around the hand, where was his wand when he needed it!

He only got as far as the elbow when the hand made its last stretch and then it collapsed down.

Unmoving.

'No...' spoke Draco, his voice hoarse, he shook the hand to initiate an effect but it lay still in his grasp, he sucked on his numb freezing fingers in his barely warm mouth to regain a little sensation in them and quickly planted them onto the radial artery on her wrist.

No pulse.

Thick tears leaked from Draco's eyes; it was a wonder they did not freeze.

With a deep breath, he screamed out towards the dark night sky.

oOo

* * *

oOo

**_A/N Hermione's dead?_**

**_You know the drill, REVIEW!  
_**


	15. Chapter 15 Pee Pee

***The Wrong Lifetime with the Wrong Man***

_By yummydreams_

oOo

* * *

**Chapitre Quinze: Pee Pee**

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* * *

**

(NOTE: Japan is 9 hours ahead of Greenwich Mean Time [GMT] )

_Harry's and Pansy's bungalow, Bangor_

It was late afternoon when the Potter couple were lounging in the living room downstairs. Harry was watching the local game on the television –although he was focussing intently on the match he was rubbing his smooth bald heavy forlornly- and Pansy was working steadily on one of her new autumn pieces in her favourite silver bound sketchbook; her hand darting artistically across the thick paper.

'Can you believe we've been married for over two weeks now?' Pansy suddenly said, slipping her pencil behind her ear as she stretched her limbs. 'Feels like it's been forever.'

'Sorry I didn't get you a card to celebrate.' Harry said sarcastically, his emerald eyes never leaving the TV screen. 'I haven't exactly been keeping count.'

'It means two weeks closer to getting rid of you from my life forever.' She gave him a dirty look even though he wasn't looking at her but she was pretty sure he could feel her scorching glare through the back of his head.

'No way. Everyone needs a bit of Harry Potter in their life.' he smirked. 'Enjoy it while you can, Pansy dear, not everyone gets the chance to be Mrs Potter!'

'It's my fate to be married to you. Oh the endless list of disadvantages.' she grumbled. 'For one, my initials are still "Pee Pee". I used to get teased badly for it, I was hoping that would all change when I marry Draco.'

'Aw it's nice to know my family name is making it into the fashion world though, even if it's only for one year. You do us proud, Pee Pee.' he grinned and dodged the velvet tassled cushion she just threw at him.

'Actually I kept my maiden name in my work; Pansy Parkinson! Pansy _Potter-'_ she said with disgust. '-I only used that in legal documents.'

'It's not that bad.' he commented.

'Yes I suppose you are right.' she said then she grinned. 'There are much worse things in life, I suppose.'

'And this is the point where you're going to make some nasty comment.'

'Oh you know me too well, Boy Wonder.'

'Alright...so what are the much more worse things in life?'

'Like...' she trailed off and laughed. 'Like being bald!'

'That was a really bad thing to do-' began Harry furiously.

'I know it's _bad_, that's why I did it!' Pansy smirked, returning to her sketch. She was about to etch in minute details to the sleeve of the trench coat she was designing when he yanked the pad roughly out of her grasp, her granite pencil scored across the page, ruining her design with one big black line. Pansy shot her head up angrily and pushed herself off the armchair.

'It's bad because-' he began again.

'What did you do that for!' she screeched, waving her hands in the air. 'No one...I mean _no one_ touches my sketchbook! NO ONE! _And _you ruined my design!'

'Get over it, you can draw it again.' he said irritably then he added spitefully. 'It was ugly anyway.'

'Excuse me?' she stuttered, trembling in fury.

'It...was...ug...ly.' he said slowly in a patronising voice.

'Your mother's ugly.' she snapped automatically without thinking.

_Rrrrriiiiiiiiiiip._

Even though the sketchbook was so thick, Harry still managed to tear it in half with sheer brute force. He shoved both halves under his arm and with his eyes still on Pansy, he whipped his wand out of his back pocket and directed it at the fireplace; it erupted with a blazing fire and he tossed the ripped pad mercilessly into hungry flames.

Pansy's heart stopped as soon as the tearing sound hit her ears, it was only when her beloved book landed into the fireplace on top of the coals with a dull _thump, _her brain only just registered what had just happened and she screamed.

She wiped the angry tears from her eyes defiantly and pulled her wand out to point at him. But she was one step too late, he already had his directed at her face.

'You can cut my hair off but you will _not_ insult my mum.' he whispered.

'You _destroyed_ my sketchbook.' she said deadly quiet. 'That is _unforgivable_.'

'You pushed me too far.' he countered.

'You fell asleep on me!' she screamed.

And there it came out.

The issue neither party wanted to mention first. They stood there with their wands aloof, both blinking stupidly at each other and they completely forgot for a brief pause that they were just screaming at each other in fury. Pansy, despite annoyed at him for pretending to forgot about it, was speechless now because she wasn't really sure if she wanted to discuss what happened last night. Harry on the other hand was also lost for words because this was what he had been avoiding all day and despite his best efforts to forgot about what happened, he couldn't stop thinking about what to say if she ever confronted him and even though he had all day to ponder his reaction, he still didn't even know what to say or do.

'Alright.' Harry said somewhat defeatedly. 'Let's talk about it. Put down your wand.'

'Not a chance.' she spat.

'Pansy.' he said pointedly. 'Not to brag but I defeated Voldemort. If we really got down to it, you wouldn't stand a chance.'

'Fine.' she said and she reluctantly lowered her wand, he copied her action and she opened her mouth.

'Don't worry, we shall discuss every other unfinished business.' he sighed and turned to the coffee table in front of the sofa and pulled out one of the small drawers; withdrawing a sheet of scrap paper. He turned it over to its blank side and passed it to her. 'Write down the agenda then.'

'Where you going?' she demanded when he slotted his wand back in his pocket and turned to leave.

'I'm going to make myself a strong cup of coffee. I have a feeling this is going to be long.' he said.

oOo

_Stranded in Japan [Part I]  
_

The thick tears continued to roll down his pale cold cheeks and he brushed them angrily away from his face. At least his sudden overwhelming tirade of emotions kept him distracted from the bitter cold, the slight wind was gentle but it would feel sharp if he was paying any attention. As he held Hermione's limp hand, Draco couldn't understand _why_ he was crying. It definitely wasn't because of the non-existent mutual love they had for each other, or the existent hatred they had for each other. Maybe he was just fed up of the drama in his life, marrying his ex-enemy (although the word 'ex' is still loosely attached), watching his beautiful fiancée with a man he hated in school, having to spend day-to-day _life_ with his ex-enemy and now...she was dead.

Hermione was dead.

He started to get very angry with her. All this time, she constantly fought against him...over every little thing. He couldn't think of another person who was so different from him and so disagreeable, surely that doesn't really exist in the real world, does it? He wondered if she really was that disagreeable or did she oppose him in everything just to piss him off? Now she was gone...without a fight too! Now that really irritated him, Hermione Granger just giving up just like that!

Death.

That was something Draco never wished upon anyone. Sometimes he did wish it on others, especially when he was in a bad mood but hand on heart, despite what others believed him to be, Draco Malfoy never really wanted anyone to die.

'Fuck you, Hermione.' he mumbled.

He squeezed her ice cold hand one more time for luck but she did not even tremble in his touch. He let her hand drop and he wiped his tear-stained face with both hands, working outwards from his nose to his ears.

'Drake...dr...dra'

oOo

_The Agenda at the Potter's, Bangor [Part I]_

'Oh jeez...I was right.' Harry's jaw dropped when he saw the long list of 'unfinished businesses' Pansy had written in her neat handwriting on the piece of paper, she underlined fervently the ones she considered of utmost importance...which was most of them.

'Give me the pen.' he said after he swallowed another mouthful of his coffee.

'Why?' she asked handing him the pen.

'Because some of these things are ridiculous! We don't need to discuss it!' he retorted, he snatched the pen from her grip before she could take it back.

'Like what?' she arched one perfect eyebrow. 'I think _all_ of them are relevant.'

'Like this one...number ten, my dress sense-'

'You do have a rubbish dress sense, you've got plenty of new clothes, you're not supposed to wear the same outfit more than once a week or a month for that matter!' she said feverishly.

'Okay, what about number thirty-four, about how much loo roll I use? Orrrrr number fifty-six! How I walk down the stairs! How is any of this worth discussing? I said issues, regarding _us_, that needs to be discussed. Not a list of all my imperfections.'

'I agree most of them are regarding your imperfections but that is not a list of _all_ your imperfections. Blimey, we'd have to kill the entire amazon rainforest for enough paper to write them all down!' she said but then she added. 'And all of it does regard us!'

'I also noticed none of the problems here are related to _your_ imperfections.' he scowled.

'That's because I have none.' she said automatically. 'What are you doing!'

'I'm ruling out some of them, they can do for another day, otherwise we'll be here all night with this list.' he explained, already crossing off several.

'Fine.' she said, folding her arms. 'I'm being chair by the way.'

'Why?'

'It's _my_ list.'

'What...(sigh)...fine, I'm not even going to fight with you.'

'Wise move, Boy Wonder.' she remarked and she snatched the list off the table, he opened his mouth to protest but she gave him a very pointed look and he shut his mouth, his nostrils flaring.

'Okay.' she said, clearing her throat. 'Item number one: my sketchpad.'

'Alright, before we start, no manipulating or lying, otherwise we'll be here all night.' Harry said. 'Look, you know what happened, Pee Pee-'

'_Pee Pee_?' she said incredulously. 'Don't call me that!'

'I never asked you to call me "Boy Wonder".' he reminded her.

'I'll stop then.' she said.

'Can you?' he challenged.

She paused then sighed. 'I suppose not.'

'_Anyways_. You provoked me, Pee Pee. You know you did.'

Pansy pulled a face at her nickname, she let out another deep sigh and she looked at her hands on her lap; she looked somewhat guilty.

'Okay, I'm really sorry, I suppose it was out of line.' she confessed. '_But _it's just something I'm so used to saying, I didn't mean it because your mother is...I apologise profusely then.'

'I know you didn't mean it.' he admitted. 'I also apologise for your sketchbook. I'll get you a new one...I can't replace the drawings though...'

'It's fine.' she said shortly, she would be lying if she said she wasn't annoyed anymore but she was tired of arguing at the moment. 'I've got a good photographic memory.'

'You can use my pensieve if you want.' Harry offered.

'I _said_ I got a good photographic memory.' she snapped but then she sighed again (it was like she caught the sighing disease): 'Thank you anyway. That's issue one completed.'

'Let me fill my cup before you move onto the next one. That one just there was emotionally draining.' he said, pushing his seat out from the kitchen table.

'Okay, the next one is your lack of effort on your hair!' she said and she received a glare in return. 'Just something for you to ponder about while the coffee machine is buzzing!'

oOo

_Stranded in Japan [Part II]_

Draco's ears perked up.

Damn, as well as being extremely cold, now he was delirious, he was hearing things! He peered around him, it was fairly dark. He pinched himself on the forearm hard just to make sure this wasn't all a bad dream. He had to pinch pretty hard because his entire body was so numb, he could barely feel the pain anyway and he guessed the next day a huge bruise would appear on his pale skin.

There it came again, the voices in his head, it was faint but he could just about hear it. He strained his ears, he heard:

'Dr...dr...'

Actually...it didn't seem to be inside his head. Draco screwed his eyes tight to listen again. It was a soft murmur-

_No...it can't be_, he thought, he laughed inappropriately, his barely warm breath billowed out from his mouth like a feeble wisp of cloud.

'Hermione?' he croaked.

'Drake!' a strangled whisper came from behind him.

Somehow her cry summoned a burst of energy within him, he was on his feet in seconds and he spun around, looking down the slope, his eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness and all he could see around his perimeter was just stretches of plain snow and shadowed outlines of trees. He squinted his eyes; alert for any movement but there was none.

'Hermione, where are you!' he said, his voice hoarse.

He then heard her moan and he stumbled forward, trying to locate the source of the noise. Surely a noise, though feeble, could only be that strong if it was air conducted...so Hermione must not be buried under the white earth.

'Stay awake!' he shouted, his voice growing a bit stronger with determination. 'I'm coming to find you!'

'Hurry.' she called out weakly.

A lot louder this time.

She was close by.

Draco yelped in joy when he found her slumped against a half bowed tree, like himself, nature had saved her life also. She was naked as well and her lithe body was shaking uncontrollably, she was resting her head against the rough bark and her abundant mass of hair was now plastered in wet wild tangles on the skin of her neck, shoulders and between her bony shoulder blades. He couldn't see her face because it was partly covered by her hair and the big branches of tree shadowed her head.

'Hermione.' he said with relief, he touched her shoulder and even though his fingers were numb, she felt even colder. He supported her neck with one hand and his other gently pulled her away from the tree. Hermione fell back with a groan but his trembling hand stopped her from touching the ground, he averted his eyes from her naked torso and he brushed her heavy hair forward to cover her modesty. Draco flinched when her chest pushed against his as he tried to pull her onto her feet, Hermione cried out and slumped against him.

'Please stand.' he begged but she was out cold. He felt something warm run down his leg and he supported her weight with his arm folded tightly around her waist, he touched his thigh and held his sticky hand to the dark cloudy sky, the stain on his hand looked dark. He held it to his mouth and he licked his fingers gingerly, it tasted metallic- blood. Draco remembered checking himself for injuries when he managed to drag himself out of the snow and there was none. Hermione must have been injured but it was too dark now to assess the damage.

The moon had finally peeked out from its cover of stormy grey clouds and for a brief pause, the whole mountainside was illuminated, Draco quickly used this chance to discover his surroundings, the snow radiated brightly but the horizons were dark, no lights or a single sign of human civilisation. After a few moments, everything grew dark again as the moon retreated back into its blanket of inky blackness. Draco expected it, after all the spring the Kazayukis took him to was very remote, it took them two hours to drive there and apart from the workers at the hot springs and its condo, it was devoid of human life around its perimeter for miles.

They couldn't stay here, they would freeze in seconds. They had to move and try to find help, even if they did not succeed, at least they died trying. Draco looked down at Hermione's drooped head and sighed, he had no options, and she was incapable of walking independently anyways. He lifted her into his arms easily. Pansy was light enough when he used to carry her into their bedroom and Hermione who was shorter than his ex-fiancée was even lighter. He cringed when his hand grasped her bare thigh but he let out a deep breath. Their survival was more important than nudity; even if it was your ex-enemy!

Draco took one step forward and his foot sank deep into the snow, especially with the added weight of Hermione in his arms. He took another step.

It was going to be a long journey.

Where to?

He didn't even know.

oOo

_The Agenda at Potter's [Part II]_

'Item fifty nine.' spoke Pansy loudly enough that her husband's dosing head shot off his folded arms that were resting on the kitchen table.

'Really?' he said in surprised, he grinned with relief; it was nearly over!

'NO.' she said and she clicked her tongue in disapproval. 'Pay attention. Item five.'

Harry groaned and grabbed his cup, despite the amount of caffeine he consumed, he was finding it difficult to stay awake. Why did he ever give her the authority to compile this list? No...why did he ever decide to solve this thing by writing an agenda? He killed Voldemort, he should just have had a battle with her and this would have all ended simply in seconds.

Now this was worse than the process of killing Voldemort.

'-your apparent dislike for the tea towel rack.' Pansy finished reading, she jabbed her finger at the ugly kitchen device.

'I just fucking hate that thing. End of story. The end.' he said hotly. 'Next!'

Pansy sighed (again) then she picked up her list and read the next item on the agenda. Somberly, she set the list back down, she glanced at him and Harry watched her confusedly. Pansy swallowed deeply and she laced her fingers together awkwardly.

'Item six.' she said slowly, she paused then mumbled. 'Last night.'

'Oh.' he muttered. He drummed his fingers on the wooden table, waiting for her to say something first as she had been doing so for the past three items of discussion but she kept her lips sealed.

She cleared her throat quietly.

He drummed the surface a little harder.

She cleared her throat again.

His fingers were hitting off the table hard now.

She cleared her throat louder this time. It sounded forced and completely unnatural.

He changed the rhythm of his drumming fingers.

The way she coughed this time, you would have thought she had something _huge_ stuck in her throat.

As their beautiful homemade melody accumulated to an impressive crescendo, Harry eventually stopped his drumming and slammed the table surface with his fist.

'Alright! I'm sorry for falling asleep on you!' he said flustered. 'Next item!'

'Hold your horses, Boy Wonder!' interrupted Pansy. 'This isn't over yet!'

'I'm sorry. Really sorry. Je suisdésolé. Doo Mm tut mir leid. Me paenitet. Lo siento-'' said Harry.

'This isn't about you falling asleep!' she said.

'It isn't?' he said somewhat brightly as he stopped his ramble of sorrys in different languages. 'Why was it on the list? Never mind, don't answer that! Next item then!'

'No! It _is _about you falling asleep-'

'But you just said-'

'You really don't want to talk about this do you?' she demanded.

'Not really.' he confessed.

'Why?' she asked curiously. 'Don't get me wrong! I don't really want to talk about it either.'

'Great, we won't then.'

'No, we can't just pretend it didn't happen.'

'We drank a lot, Pee Pee.' he reminded her.

'Still-' she protested.

'It's awkward. I feel awkward.' he admitted. 'Because it's not meant to be. We don't even like each other, that's for sure. Things like that are _never_ to happen between people like us.'

'Okay, well let's pretend for a moment we are not _those_ people. We had no history and just discuss how we both felt at the time. Can you do that? Of course, this is all _very_ hypothetical. We won't be accounted for what we say, okay?' suggested Pansy.

'Alright...I can do that.' he said grudgingly.

'Do you like me?' she suddenly fired at him.

'Wh-wh-what?' he stammered, her question threw him back a little. 'Of course I don't. And two weeks of being with you hasn't changed that.'

'Let me rephrase that- do you have or have you ever had feelings for me?' she questioned.

'No...' he said honestly. 'I do like our fights though, it's fun to annoy you.'

'Will you be serious for one second?' Pansy sighed.

'Why do you want me to be my godfather?' he grinned.

'HARRY POTTER!' she shrieked.

'Alright alright! What about you? Those two questions.'

'I'm being serious and I don't want to be my godfather.' she answered somberly.

'Not those two questions!' he said exasperated. 'Will _you_ be serious please?'

'Fine...no Boy Wonder. The feeling is pretty mutual.' she said then she paused. 'You said earlier that it wasn't meant to happen between people like us...but...'

'It didn't feel as wrong as it should have.' finished Harry, he looked directly at her and she found herself unable to look away.

'Yes...it didn't.' she agreed quietly.

'You know...it's probably...I mean it is nothing. We were both drunk and... I'm just going to say it, we were probably horny as well because we're not with them...'

'This is me being very honest but I have kissed a lot of other people that, like you, is not meant to be and every single kiss felt wrong.' Pansy said in her quiet voice.

'Are you saying our kiss meant something?' Harry asked puzzled.

'No! I'm just saying my thoughts out loud.' she said quickly.

They sat in the kitchen for a good while without saying a single word, no coughing from her and no drumming fingers from him, the silence only prevented by the gentle humming of the fridges, ticking of the minute hand of the clock and the dripping of water from the tap that was not turned off properly.

Then the doorbell rang.

'I'll get it!' they both said simultaneously and they both stood up.

'You get it then.' they said in unison again.

Pansy sighed and she pushed her chair under the table. She picked up their coffee mugs as she nodded at him.

'You get the door, I'll wash these cups up. You don't want anymore coffee do you?'

'No, I'm fine.' he replied, rather politely. He left the kitchen and hurried to their front door. When he pulled it open, he was surprised to see a strict looking man standing in their doorway. Despite his long black coat, Harry could see a peek of familiar black wizarding robes from under the lapels. Before, Harry could assess this stranger anymore, the man held up his identity card in front of his face.

'Ministry official.' said the man seriously.

'From which department?' quizzed Harry skeptically. 'I need to know. You could be any one, you could be an imposter.'

'Unlikely, Mr Potter. I'm from the Marriage and Annulments Department. I'm Investigator Bankshrew.' said the man shrewdly, lowering his card and fixing his tie. 'You better let me in if you know what' good for you.'

Harry reproachfully stood aside for Bankshrew to step into his threshold. He closed the door and locked it, then he offered to take the investigator's coat which the official refused politely. Harry led him through the hallway and into the kitchen where Pansy was just drying off the cups and some plates. Harry smelt toast in the air; she must have just made herself her favourite snack; warm buttered brown toast with mashed banana with a gentle dusting of sugar.

'Thank you for getting the door, dear.' she said fondly to Harry. At first she confused him but then he realised she must have switched her acting mode on. Pansy smiled at the investigator. 'And this might be...?'

'This is Investigator Bankshrew from the Ministry.' introduced Harry, trying to keep his voice casual, he used his eyes to convey a message to her, warning her but Pansy was either too slow or an extremely good actress because she did not respond in any way to his signal. He added helpfully. 'He's from the-'

'Department of Marriage and Annulments.' finished Bankshrew.

'Oh?' said Pansy smoothly but she seemed like his job did not faze her at all. _Damn, she's good_, Harry found himself admiring. She stretched out her hand. 'So good to meet you, Mr Bankshrew.'

'Likewise.' Bankshrew nodded but rejected her handshake, he gestured to the round kitchen table. 'Shall we?'

'Of course, would you like any refreshments? Tea-' said Pansy amiably.

'There is no need. Please sit down, Mrs Potter.' he said coolly.

Pansy pursed her lips, her first sign Harry noticed that gave away her uneasiness. She pulled out her chair and sat down. She reached for Harry's hand that was resting on the table and she was squeezing his hand tight; he didn't know if it was an act or she was seeking for comfort.

'I am here today because you have been ignoring our letters.' began Bankshrew.

'What letters?' the Potters asked simultaneously at once.

'Did you not receive letters from the Ministry?' asked the man skeptically.

Harry shook his head. 'I haven't really been reading my mail recently. Had a lot on my mind.'

'Me neither, my secretary usually handles all my mail but she's been overloaded recently with letters from the media.' said Pansy.

'Hm.' the man said, he waved his wand in the air and several letters zoomed into the kitchen from the hallway and danced around the Potters' heads. Harry grabbed one and opened it while Pansy scooted her chair closer to her husband's to take a better look at the letter content.

'We have to attend a hearing?' gasped Pansy.

'You must have got this wrong, Investigator. We didn't even commit this crime. It's impossible.' said Harry incredulously.

'Mr Potter, you and your wife have both committed adultery, you two know that. The ministry have not got it wrong.' said Bankshrew firmly.

'No I have not!' said Harry angrily. 'How can I-'

'Eleventh of July, time fifteen thirty seven pm in this very house in the master bedroom, Mr Harry Potter and Mrs Hermione Malfoy liaised and committed adultery.' said Bankshrew without stopping, it seems like he memorised all the details in his head.

'But-' interrupted Pansy.

'_Mrs _Pansy Potter and Mr Draco Malfoy, also on the eleventh of July, time fifteen fifty eight pm in suite hundred and three, liaised and committed adultery.' said the investigator loudly over her.

'No! You don't understand, you're misunderstood!' said Harry desperately.

'There's nothing to be misunderstood in adultery. You did it and that is it.' said the man coldly.

'Have you read our appeal in our case? We're not like other couples appealing for divorce. There was a mix up at the Potter and Malfoy weddings!'

'We are assessing your case currently and I cannot disclose any further information, Mr Potter.' replied the man shortly. 'However, you do realise and you have been warned that adultery is highly serious, whatever the circumstances are. This case must be dealt with separately and you were offered a hearing to testify but since you did not _bother_ to read your mail, the Ministry has no choice but to give both parties a suspension without a hearing.'

'Which is?' whispered Pansy, she held onto Harry's hand tighter.

'An extra sixth months to assess your current case and a five hundred thousand galleon fine.'

'Five hundred _thousand _galleons!' echoed Harry in shock.

'_Six months?_' cried Pansy. 'Six more months? I have to ring Draco!

'I'd advise against that, Mrs Potter, if you want things to run smoothly for your already disaster of a case.' said Bankshrew. 'Besides, we are having trouble locating Draco Malfoy and his wife whereabouts. He is not on the run as he has not received our official letters either.'

'Oh I forgot...' trailed of Pansy, she let go of Harry's hand and held her heavy head in her hands. 'He's on his honeymoon in Japan.'

'Very well. That is everything I had to discuss, any questions from you?'

The Potters shook their heads and they sat slumped against their wooden chairs. Bankshrew pushed his chair out and he fastened his coat before picking up his briefcase.

'Good evening and...don't forget, the fine is to be paid by the end of the month!'

oOo

_Stranded in Japan [Part III]_

With each step, his muscles were screaming in pain as sharp needles shot up his thighs. Despite Hermione's easy weight, she was getting increasingly heavier with each step; his cold arms were getting tired. Draco gritted his teeth and continued to plough on in a sense-less direction, he didn't know where to go but he just kept toiling on and on for a sign.

_Any_ sign.

Hermione did not stir once in his arms, her body convulsed and was wracked with spasms for a brief pause but then she would still again. He look down at the gash on her upper thigh, it was still flowing blood incessantly.

Draco changed his course to the left when he encountered a thick region of tall trees, it was much steeper down this pathway and he was extra careful with his footing but his slow movements meant his muscles were aching more and he found it difficult to even just lift his foot.

Maybe it was because his feet were so achingly numb, he didn't feel that the snow was looser down here. As each step sank his legs deeper and deeper into the snow, he made his fifth step and his legs shot straight down and the snowy surface swallowed their bodies whole. His throat was screeching in pain as he yelled while his legs flailed and kicked his snowy cocoon. Suddenly the snow gave in on his left side and he and Hermione tumbled into an even darker hole.

He fumbled around him for her body, his fingers tangled themselves in a wet mass and he realised he was clutching her hair. Draco sighed with relief, it was so dark he had to rely on his sense of touch to discover his new surroundings, he groped around him again with his other free hand, grasping handfuls of powdery snow and finally when he stretched his hand further, he picked up some gravel and the rest was hard stony ground.

He deduced that he was in a hollow or cave of some sort, when he managed to stand up, he could feel the cold stony and rough walls arching above him. He actually bumped his head off the ceiling and could only stand tall when he walked about a couple of metres deeper inside the cave. Draco fumbled his way back to his companion who still did not stir; he lifted her and moved her closer inside the cave. He stopped when his toes touched unfamiliar ground, something crunched under his foot. Draco lowered Hermione to the ground and he grasped the floor beside his feet and the covering came up easily into his hand.

It was flexible and felt flaxen which reminded him of the bamboo mat Pansy had bought for her study because she didn't want her client's dirty feet ruining her rugs. Laying it flat back on the ground, he laid Hermione on top and started a few basic but vital health checks. Her pulse was faint, he could barely feel it with his trembling fingers and her breathing was very shallow. Draco swore under his breath, he had no resources whatsoever, he couldn't even see! He knew she had a wound and he couldn't even tend to it. His fingers traced Hermione's jaw and they shifted to her forehead, he brushed her hair back and continued to stroke her temple as if to soothe her.

_Please hold on,_ he thought, he just needed her to stay strong until daylight.

oOo

_Harry's and Pansy's bedroom, Bangor_

'I don't believe it.' seethed Harry as he paced their bedroom back and forth.

Pansy who was lying across their bed with her legs dangling over the edge sighed, he had been pacing for an hour already and he had said those same words over fifty times now.

'Five hundred thousand galleons!' he repeated loudly.

'If you don't have enough, I can pay it.' she said.

'You mean you weren't going to pay a share of it?' he demanded and he stopped pacing to look at her but her eyes were directed at the white ceiling.

'No, I was.' she replied.

'By the way, just so you know,I do have more than enough to pay for it.' he said.

'Fine.'

'It's a lot of money isn't it?' he said flabbergasted, he clasped his hands behind him and paced again.

'Why do you think people don't cheat? Because they know how much the fine is!'

'No one ever told me! That's hardly fair; I should get my lawyer to mention that!'

'Boy Wonder, you're not _supposed _to cheat, so knowing how much the fine is doesn't matter!'

Harry suddenly flopped down beside her and she squealed but didn't chide him. Together they looked aimlessly above them.

'I don't understand.' he said suddenly. 'I wonder how they can find out if someone cheats.'

'I'm not sure of the magic behind it but I'm sure they have their ways of finding out.'

'They aren't very effective though.'

'I don't know I've never cheated before.'

'Hermione did...well she kissed Ron but it didn't go any further than that.'

'My, Granger's scandalous.'

'Don't talk about her like that, Pee Pee.'

'My father's friend got into a sticky situation, he cheated on his wife. From what I heard, it only works on married couples or if the man or woman involved in an affair is married. If the other person does not know their partner is actually married then they don't get any charges.'

'Anyone could lie that they didn't know though.' said Harry thoughtfully.

'Ever heard of Veritaserum, Boy Wonder?' Pansy said.

'Oh, I forgot about that.' said Harry abashed.

'Muggle.' she teased.

'Guess they didn't find out about Hermione and Ron then. We weren't engaged then. I can't believe how badly this divorce scheme is, surely people have got married to the wrong person before.' said Harry, he paused then frowned. 'I wonder how they're taking the news, if they've found out. They may kill each other if they know they have to spend an extra six months with each other. Hermione hates Malfoy.'

'I'm sure Draco feels the same way about her.' said Pansy. 'I mean, I don't really hate you, Boy Wonder, I just extremely dislike you and if I can barely stand you, goodness know what they're like.'

'He took her on a honeymoon did he not?' Harry said bitterly.

'Yes.' Pansy said sadly, closing her eyes, tears leaked from the inside corners of her eyes and rolled down her face, one drop dripped into her ear. It was supposed to be _her_ on that honeymoon with Draco, not Hermione. 'The honeymoon I never went on.'

'Well...' mumbled Harry who sounded somewhat guilty. 'Me and Hermione did plan for a trip to Paris last weekend but I cancelled it...'

Pansy didn't say anything and he sighed.

'I can re-apply for leave again next week if you want to go somewhere.' he suggested.

'And let what happened last night happen again?' she retorted, but her voice was gentle.

'It'll be purely acting.' he said quickly. 'Stop the media pestering us. No one will bother us abroad or I hope not.'

'You're Harry Potter.' she said, her eyes closed. 'You're famous _universally_. I can hear the aliens from other galaxies chanting your name.'

'I won't take a holiday then.' he huffed, he sat up and pushed himself off the bed but Pansy caught his wrist.

'Don't.' she said. 'Let's take a fake honeymoon.'

oOo

_Stranded in Japan [Part IV]_

Draco woke up with a start, though he never really did fall asleep properly. Rubbing his eyes, he reached automatically for Hermione's pulse, it was still sluggish and barely detectable but her breathing was still strong. He peered around the cave which still enveloped them in darkness.

Draco crawled forward, gradually moving onto his feet. He was careful this time not to bump his head, his hands brushed the borders of the cave walls on either side and he fumbled his way towards the entrance.

_Hallelujah_, he thought when a patch of wall in front of him was lighter than the rest- the entrance! He knocked down the door of snow and shielded his dark-accustomed eyes when the sun rays streamed in as the snow crumbled into the cave. Draco removed his hand after a while and blinked a few times before stepping out into the sunlight. He had to peer through half-closed eyes as the glare off the brilliant snow was blinding, and just as much as he saw in the dark, there was just stretches and stretches of snowy plains and trees. Without hesitating, he turned back to their cave, a few splintered planks of bark was littered near the entrance which confirmed that this cave was previously inhabited before and the pieces of wood was used to serve as a crude door to keep the cold out. He bent down and he noticed the cave was a lot deeper than he originally thought, he could just about see the outline of Hermione's feet. Now with an adequate light source, he explored their current living conditions properly, inside the cave he did not find much but his treasured findings was some pieces of flint, a feeble bundle of dry old branches, a small metal canteen and another coarse bamboo mat.

Draco stepped back outside and assessed his own body injuries first, apart from a few bruises and a few small cuts, he was healthy. Now to inspect Hermione's...

She was in bad form but Draco found humour in this dark situation, he could imagine how Hermione would react if she wasn't unconscious right now. She would be freaking out that _he_ was naked and so most importantly that he saw _her_ naked.

Her pale skin was coloured with large purple bruises and she was cut very badly on her arms, he found even more cuts when he untangled her hair from her neck. When he moved his hand over her torso to check for broken ribs just under her breasts, she stirred. Draco stopped his hand and watched her parched, cracked lips part and she emitted a low moan.

'Hermione?' he called, he took her hand and squeezed it. She groaned again and she started to mumble something incoherently.

'What is it?' he whispered but she continued to mutter.

'Wat...wat...thir...tee...' she breathed incomprehensibly when he lowered his ear against her mouth.

'You're thirsty? Water?' he repeated. Hermione pursed her lips and made the smallest nod with her head.

Draco looked around him helplessly and grabbed the canteen, staring at the bottom as if it would magically refill itself with water, he eyed the flint pieces and the bundle of wood, he couldn't start a fire in time to melt the snow into water.

'Water!' she suddenly croaked. Draco hurriedly dropped the canteen with a _clink_ and he took a handful of snow beside him. He took a piece of hardened snow and wedged it into her mouth but her tongue was too cold to even melt the snow.

He sighed and removed it from her mouth. He slipped his hand under the back of her neck and lifted her upper body off the bamboo mat, leaning her weight against his chest. He lifted some snow in his free hand and he placed it inside his mouth, his was a bit warmer and despite the cold snow made his body tremble even more, it melted quickly and soon it turned to water. Draco gently lifted Hermione's chin up with his free hand and he used his thumb to part her dry lips before he bent his head down and sealed his lips over hers. The icy water trickled into Hermione's mouth and she swallowed eagerly, she sighed in relief and her tongue darted towards Draco's mouth and she licked his lips hungrily. Draco pulled back and melted some more snow in his mouth before kissing her again. When Hermione drank her fill, she sighed one last time and she drifted to sleep. He checked her pulse when he moved her back inside the cave, it seemed slightly stronger. Wrapping the spare bamboo mat around his body as best as he could to keep himself a little warmer despite the crude material, he ventured outside to collect more firewood and try to find some food. If he could find help, it would be even better.

oOo

_Stranded inJapan [Part V]_

Draco stoked his meagre fire and added another branch to it; it did not burn well, it was far too wet from the snow. However he did manage to successfully melt a full canteen of snow into water, he took a long drink from it before arranging the wet branch again to encourage it to burn.

'Draco?' Hermione faintly whispered, he perked up and looked at her, she tried to lift her hand but it was difficult too.

'How are you feeling?'

'Terrible.' she mumbled. 'Where...are...we?'

Draco slipped his hand under the mat, he had wrapped her in it to keep her warm, her hand was still icy cold but when he placed his hand on her forehead, she was scalding.

'You're feverish.' he noted. 'What do you remember? We're in a cave at the moment. Hermione, I need you to move your arms and legs for me. I don't know if they're broken.'

She groaned when he lifted the mat off her. He instructed her to move each limb.

'I was relaxing...in...the springs...then...nothing after...wards...' she said breathlessly. 'Draco...I can't move that leg.'

'Try.' he encouraged. 'Please.'

'It hurt's too much.' she moaned and when he touched her upper thigh, she let out an ear-splitting scream.

'You've got a gash here...it must be worse than I thought.' Draco said, he pulled her closer to the fire to get a better look and the movement caused her to scream again. In the flickering light of the fire, the cut was about the length and width of his index finger, it stopped its free flow of blood and had now resorted to a slow oozing pace. It was dirty around the edges of the wound.

'Get off me!' she suddenly shouted.

'What?'

'No!' she yelled.

Draco looked straight into her eyes but they were not fixated, they looked _wild_. She thrashed her arms about and one hand lashed out against his chest.

'Hermione...Hermione! It's me, Draco! Stop it!' he said quickly, he pinned down her flailing hands but she continued to scream.

'Get away from me!' she shrieked, she shuddered and began to cry. 'Don't! That's hurts! Please stop!'

_Slap!_

Draco's hand slapped her face smartly but she still did not stop her delirious trance. Next thing he knew, she began to convulse, her body wracked with violent spasms. He picked up her limp hand and even in the feeble light, he could see her fingertips were turning dark.

She was poisoned.

Draco hurriedly steadied her injured thigh with her hand and he took a deep breath, pouring half the canteen of water over the gash, he crudely cleaned it with his hand then he sealed his lips around the wound and began to suck out the poison. He spat out the dirty blood into the fire which sizzled and he repeated again. The wound looked a lot cleaner after a few more attempts and he rinsed his mouth thoroughly with the remaining water.

Hermione had stopped thrashing and was now sobbing.

'I can't feel my other leg.' she cried.

Draco thumped the sides of his head with his fist as he tried to think of what to do. But he could only think of one option.

'Hermione, we're going to have to amputate your bad leg.' he said.

oOo

* * *

**Oooh another cliff hanger. I do apologise for the last one, but I couldn't possibly kill Hermione off now, could I? *Evil grin***

**I apologise for not having this chapter up in time for Christmas so HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you all had a BRILLIANT Christmas. I thought it would be even more special if I could make this chapter into a Christmas chapter then I realised, we're still in July... *sigh***

**This chapter was very very long, possibly my longest yet. I orginally had them as two separate chapters, one for Harry/Pansy and the other Draco/Hermione but I ended up putting them all in one chapter because it's a contrast of two extremes, one funny and sweet and the other life-threatening.**

**Boy Wonder and Pee Pee are really getting on aren't they? But don't worry shippers, they've still got a long way to go yet. Don't forget Pansy's attacker is still out there.**

**Draco and Hermione on the other hand...they've come a long way but don't be fooled, Draco is only looking after her, he doesn't want her to die. But we shall see what happens...assuming they both survive *another evil grin***

**Let's put our hands together and saw 'AWWWWW' for the poor couples who have to spend an extra 6 months + 1 year together.**

**Life just sucks**

**Mine won't suck so bad if you REVIEW.**

**You know the drill, I'll UPDATE FASTER  
**


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